What do you do when your captain keeps ranting about a problem that does not involve you in any way, leaving you powerless, unable to contribute?

SuperSlavisWife · 2015-07-06T11:54:17+00:00

When Jon wants to bring something up that's troubling him I...

1: Listen and take note of everything that could be important.

2: Agree whenever he mentions something that is correct, reserve my criticisms or counterarguments until he's done.

3: Offer any potential solutions first and foremost. If there are no solutions, I will remind him that it's in the past now and we will try and avoid it.

4: Let him talk about it as though it were the first time. Make sure he's comfortable and do things to take his mind off it so any ranting eases off.

If it's part of his nature that he dwells on past mistakes, it could be good to

-remind him that he doesn't often make these mistakes

-not bring it up if you warned him or knew better!

-get him talking about the ways he could have avoided it

-accept it's a part of his personality and relax a little, the world isn't going to end just because he's feeling down, stressing will make you frustrated with it

ladieaupair · 2015-07-06T15:06:57+00:00

I try to just listen and acknowledge his problems; he doesn't like to be offered solutions - he knows how to fix his own problems, he's a fixer by nature - so I just listen and try to offer what I can if he asks my opinion. It can be helpful to offer help when it's wanted, but sometimes all he needs is just a quiet ear to vent to.

FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy · 2015-07-06T16:02:56+00:00

He's taking a break from work and you work at home, and his family isn't in his life. Now he's getting worked up about little things and not letting them go. Maybe he needs some bigger picture things in his life. DH often responds well to a change of scenery, getting out of his physical bubble. Can you get your partner out of the house when this happens? Even a picnic dinner would help my man when his perspective is getting a little too limited, and I wonder if it would help yours too.

pcadrian · 2015-07-07T12:33:28+00:00

This is pretty much the only thing you can do:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

Just stay on his side (metaphorically) rather than amplify things with your analysis (silence works great, maybe some encouragement), but MOST IMPORTANTLY don't let yourself take it personally, because his bad mood has nothing to do with you. You seem to already do a good job at this, so you're golden. People like him tend to beat themselves up about mistakes, which later drives them to invest energy into bettering themselves. I should know, do the same thing. The only difference is it takes me very little time to break free of that mood, but I certainly wasn't always like this.

natural_thigh_gap · 2015-07-09T13:53:29+00:00

I just let him vent, ask if he needs anything. Spouse works a job with a lot of losers and I know its not for me to fix his problems unless I'm right besides him dealing with the same problems.

He is just going over where he went wrong, and this is an internal problem for him.

antariusz · 2015-07-14T10:18:47+00:00

Going over and reviewing past mistakes is a good way to make sure they get permanently etched into his brain. He is learning to become a better chess player. You're watching his brain make new pathways and etch the patterns of thought that led to that mistake to be stored in his long-term memory. He has a smile on his face, because, like most men, he enjoys improving at things. Intellectual pursuits aren't as easy to gauge directly, but his ranting to himself WILL eventually lead to improvements in his play, and eventually you'll see it reflected in something like his ELO raising. The same thing happens with professional video game players. It sounds like it's become less of a "hobby" and more of a passion/career.

He's doing it while awake, but everyone does it while they sleep. He is doing it with something that he finds enjoyable. Many other men rant about their careers / wealth... because that's what we do to learn to become better at our "careers".

YourShadowScholar · 2015-07-22T13:06:27+00:00

Everything is fine now, for the record. We went to bed, and when we woke up I gave him a blowjob, and a new day started.

You're already doing the right things in terms of action. Sex is the only way that a partner can soothe her man's issues that aren't directly related to her, and that's all that is necessary really.

Any other worries about you not being able to help him with his chess strategy are just in your head. 100% he doesn't care. But he definitely views you as a high value woman for listening to him + giving him a blowjob to ease his tortured mind from his (much needed, but painful) analysis that he is going through.

Literal advice: relax, and keep doing what you're doing.

_wingnut_ · 2015-07-06T10:13:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	What do you do when your captain keeps ranting about a problem that does not involve you in any way, leaving you powerless, unable to contribute?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	22
Comments	16
Date	July 6, 2015 8:03 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3ca47f/what_do_you_do_when_your_captain_keeps_ranting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-do-you-do-when-your-captain-keeps-ranting.166349 https://theredarchive.com/post/166349

Comments