UPDATE: Avoiding Wedding Drama

VanBurensChops · 2015-07-31T10:14:09+00:00

I don't think you entirely get it

-littlebee- · 2015-07-31T16:28:06+00:00

subtext "I LOVE DRAMA"

How is this relevant to RPW?

freebumblebee · 2015-07-31T13:10:30+00:00

Your original post was removed, so I don't know exactly what the fallout was about in the first place, and that would have heavily affected my response. (Btw, for future reference, if you want a link embedded in the text, put the words you want to be read in [] brackets and then the full link in () parentheses with no spaces in between. It'll look like this).

Do you want a relationship with her in the future? If so, absolutely send an email. Explain why you didn't speak with her, what the issue is, what she can do to fix it on her end. Set your terms firmly, and for the rest of your friendship (or at least quite awhile) keep her at arm's length.

If you don't want a relationship in the future, you could send the same email including a line about how you don't want to speak anymore, but keep in mind, she's going to argue with you, since she clearly would like to continue to be friends. You're going to want to get the last word in, so you're going to email back, and boom, a relationship of some sort is reestablished. That's why they say closure doesn't really exist, even if both people desire it--and in this case, only one of you does.

With that in mind, the best move would either be to send an explanatory email and block her immediately, letting her know that's what you're doing, or just cut this whole thing off and stop feeding into it--which is my actual advice. Cut her off, do not respond, do not email her, do not feed into the drama, and move on.

katiemonster · 2015-07-31T16:20:24+00:00

No offense, because I've certainly been guilty of this myself, but it sounds like you're really just dying to get the last word in with this girl, and it's not going to be as satisfying as you think it is.

If you really want to cut all contact...then cut all contact. You've already got a good "no talking" thing going, so why ruin it? The only reason to talk to this woman is if you want to reestablish some kind of relationship with her. And again, you're not the only one. I like to remind myself that if you don't want to talk to somebody...JUST DON'T TALK TO THEM. It's really that simple.

P.S. Your man agrees that a "closure" message is appropriate because he doesn't understand how women work in these situations. I guarantee he's sick of hearing about this situation and would like it to go away.

PhantomDream09 · 2015-07-31T16:24:12+00:00

This is a nonsense post and has no relevance to RPW. You're rambling, and come off as conceited with a stone to grind.

This community has supported you on this topic in the past, but enough is enough.

notevenatthestart · 2015-07-31T14:32:20+00:00

Something short?

"Thanks for your email. I wish you well for the future, but I think it's for the best that we go our separate ways."

Chances are, whatever you send, you'll get a reply back. You're not likely to be able to get the satisfying closure of a devastating monologue that sends her, chastened, out of your life. All you can do is cut yourself off with the least fuss for you.

I'd just like to highlight some of the things you said:

I just don’t see how she could possibly redeem herself.

It felt like I was practicing my “frame” with her… she was like a plate that I had decided didn’t offer me much anymore

my SO was very happy that we went and proud of me for resisting contact. I’m glad I listened to him

this is very likely how things could have gone had I let Liz engage me

I want to stick up for my SO, but I'm guessing she'll just think he's controlling/brainwashing me.

Let's just look at those for a second. It doesn't sound, from that, like she has an awful lot to offer you. Rather, it sounds as though she's an almost entirely negative influence on your life and your relationship with your SO. There doesn't seem to be any good reason to keep in any kind of contact with her and quite a few reasons why you'd be better off without her around.

You should always remember, too, that she's better at this kind of drama than you are:

I’ve never had a falling out with a friend before (where as she’s had them with sooo many people)

She'll drag you down to her level if you let her and beat you on her home turf. Every minute of contact you spend on her is wasted time, so keep it brief and use the minutes you've saved to share with your SO. As you put it yourself; hold frame.

Title	UPDATE: Avoiding Wedding Drama
Author	vintagegirlgame
Upvotes	4
Comments	19
Date	July 31, 2015 8:12 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3f9m4z/update_avoiding_wedding_drama/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/update-avoiding-wedding-drama.166384 https://theredarchive.com/post/166384

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