Tried to let my captain win an argument and he called me insincere

HB3234 · 2019-01-13T18:55:40+00:00

If you disagree with him about what to DO, you can say, "I don't fully agree with X, but I will fully support you no matter what you decide".

But when it comes to what you THINK, you really can't use a cop out line like "okay you're right". It's frustrating because everyone involved knows you don't really think that. Why not try being honest, instead? Say how you feel.

"I was enjoying the debate before but I am feeling a little tired of it now. Can we agree to disagree?"

Or, "I feel myself getting frustrated, and I want to stop debating now. I know I can't change your mind... But at the same time, I respect that you are so firm in your beliefs."

Or, if your man is playful (this could frustrate some and delight others) "You're hot when you're passionate. Let's talk about the (whatever) later, right now I need to finish this discussion with you in the bedroom."

Hammocknapping · 2019-01-13T16:56:19+00:00

I’m not sure why you think you need to defer to his opinion. You don’t have to agree with his every view point. Additionally, the goal of a civil debate is not to get someone to change their stance on a given topic. Instead, it’s an opportunity to challenge each other and learn to better articulate your stance on the topic. It’s a brain exercise, there are no winners or losers and no clear right and wrong.

If you are unable to have these types of mature debates, then simply don’t discuss the topic. There’s no action item or directive following a debate, so there’s not even an opportunity to defer. If you reach a stalemate in one of these discussions, then just say “It appears we are both passionate about this topic, and simply see things differently. Would it be okay if we switched to doing X now?”

You defer to his opinion for action items such as how to do the laundry or which route to take to the store. You do not need to defer to his political views, but realize that if they are too far apart it may cause discord in the relationship.

thatbadlarry · 2019-01-13T16:01:33+00:00

You were being insincere. You said you realized neither of you would sway but you still said “yes you’re right.” That’s lying and your man saw right through it. You don’t have to lie. You can say “you probably know more about this than I do”(truth) rather than “you’re right” (not true cause you don’t believe it.

ImTheCaptainNow24 · 2019-01-13T22:19:16+00:00

As others have said, you were being insincere since you didn't actually agree with him. RPW advocates submission in decision-making, not pretending your boyfriend is right about everything you discuss. What you did was like playing Monopoly and letting the other person win. No one wants to play a game if the other person isn't actually competing. Political debates are the same way.

BeginningSomewhere3 · 2019-01-13T23:54:03+00:00

Why can't you just say, "I'm sorry. I see where you're coming from but I just disagree."

You are being insincere if you tell him he's right when you still disagree and think he's wrong. And eventually, he will see right through lies like that like he did this time.

Hammocknapping · 2019-01-13T13:44:08+00:00

Can we get more information? I believe the following is required per sub rules:

If you are asking a personal relationship question, please answer the following questions:

What is the problem, and what do you think is the root of the issue?

How have you contributed/attempted to mitigate the problem?

What is your current relationship status and length of time?

Be honest with yourself about what background is needed to help the community answer your question. Withholding information doesn't make it less true or relevant. Include the state of your sex life and ages.

TheTyke · 2019-01-16T04:08:39+00:00

Why not explain this to him? Also you were insincere. Instead simply explain you have differing opinions and would rather leave it there at 'agree to disagree'.

dusty_dungarees · 2019-01-19T09:39:32+00:00

I think the real issue here, is he wants to be able to persuade you, change your mind on something he knows is important to you. That way, the two of you will become more one person, a stronger unit, and he will feel uber manly because you show him how powerful his influence is on the one he loves the most. Your opinion matters to him more than anyone else's, especially because you defer to him. He wants to take it one step further.

LateralThinker13 · 2019-01-14T21:56:40+00:00

I ended up just saying, "Yes, okay, you're right." Apparently he thought my tone was insincere.

It's not your tone, it's your words. You basically pulled a "Yes, dear, whatever you say" to him. That means you were condescending. ;)

It's much healthier, if you're both mature intellectual adults, to simply say, "Let's agree to disagree and move on for now. Okay?"

Title	Tried to let my captain win an argument and he called me insincere
Author	ahabswench
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	January 13, 2019 5:53 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/afggvx/tried_to_let_my_captain_win_an_argument_and_he/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/tried-to-let-my-captain-win-an-argument-and-he.167319 https://theredarchive.com/post/167319

Comments