Getting over an ex while you currently have no women and are in self improvement mode?

vandaalen · 2015-01-09T09:17:52+00:00

Just delete and block her everywhere so it's harder for you to peep at her profiles.

You could also try out a behavioural therapy trick by imagining a stop sign and thinking or even saying "Stop!" everytime she pops up in your head.

If that doesn't help, pinch yourself real hard in the back of your hand, or the inside of your thigh simultaniously. It really has got to hurt.

It will take some time, but after a while usually just thinking "Stop." will be sufficient.

The nice side effect is, that you can then apply it to every situation to gain control over yourself again.

fnordsnord · 2015-01-09T15:46:45+00:00

Okay, this is pretty old school advice.

Unfriend her on facebook. I don't just mean "unfollow," I mean, "unfriend." Delete all saved texts, voice mails, and e-mails from her. Delete ALL of her contact information. Take your very favorite picture of her and put it in our attic, garage, or other deep-storage, where you keep things like your great-grandmother's christening gown. Then throw the rest of them away. Any gifts she gave you? Goodwill, unless you use them constantly. (I wouldn't ask you to toss a custom game-controller.)

All reminders must go.

Now - approach women ANYWAY, even though you're not in the mindset. Don't worry about closing AT all, not even a name close. Just talk to them. About anything OTHER than your ex, who you should discuss with NO ONE.

Work out more.

Red_Work · 2015-01-09T13:52:58+00:00

Delete Facebook, hit the gym. You don't need to get over her. You need to get over yourself.

killsyou123 · 2015-01-09T08:27:56+00:00

I can't offer any advice, I'm in the same boat brother. My only advice is to remove the temptation of checking these sites and apps from your phone. I'm considering it but it's kind of hard when it's so ingrained into our daily lives. While I myself am struggling with it, this seems to be the most reasonable course of action.

I apologize I'm rather new to TRP but this post was too familiar with my situation to not comment on.

Thigh_Gap_Inspector · 2015-01-09T08:42:58+00:00

Keep yourself busy. Try new hobbies, don't live in the safe mode anymore. Be the man you want to be.do all the shit you couldn't do when you were dating Unfriend the ex gf from all social media. Unfriend any mutual friends. DO NOT contact the ex gf .do not offer to fix anything or give her advice on anything.

Goldfulgore · 2015-01-09T09:42:52+00:00

This stuff is not easy as it's hardwired in our brains. You should think more with your dick and less with your head. What I mean is, whenever I am in a situation like yours, I tend to focus on my own pleasure and everything else is meaningless.

We tend to associate good feelings with people and not the experience itself, which makes it harder for us to cut all ties. Be more egotistical about it. For example, If she gave amazing blowjobs, associate "amazing" with the pleasure you got from it and not from the woman. The fact that she was sucking your cock and felt amazing made it amazing.

Now focus on duplicating that with other women.

Syn3rgetic · 2015-01-09T13:57:08+00:00

I pretty much ended up here because of the same thing. Some of our dickwaving prone counterparts will probably say stuff like, "fuck that, she's not worth it, plenty of pussy in the sea". I'm letting you know right here and right now, make the best of your situation and use that as motivation. At first it'll seem like you're doing it for her, but you know when you start getting more confident, you'll be doing it for yourself. Whenever I feel down or upset about my ex fiance, I just remember this quote I read here, " She was never yours, it was just your turn.". Good luck brother and may our efforts bring us success.

RK-no · 2015-01-09T18:51:48+00:00

I don't know why no one else has mentioned the classic advice of go fuck ten other women.

You're making excuses for not approaching, you might be in monk mode but part of your persona as a red pill man is having game, so go practice that shit.

gucciswahgg · 2015-01-10T00:23:55+00:00

I think a lot of dudes that are in "self improvement mode" use that as an EXCUSE to hamster their way out of talking and approaching women.

Ask yourself why you can't self improve AND talk to women. If nothing holds up, then you're just a pussy, not a stoic monk.

The red pill isn't a bible, and you can't just use it to avoid risks and things that could hurt your feelings. This sounds harsh but is my opinion

LifeAtPeace · 2015-01-09T11:02:30+00:00

1.) Practice mindfulness breathing. This helps you to focus on the task you are doing and prevents your thoughts from straying onto her.

2.) Smile at everyone you meet and try to have a small chat. Just ask, how they are doing? How their day was? Don't engage in deep conversations.

3.) Start lifting and breathe properly while lifting. This is another way to achieve mindfulness.

4.) Stay away from alcohol, weed and smoking. They do not help you in anyway.

5.) Eat healthy and maintain a diet chart. Any free time you find, try reading the nutrition facts of various foods and start cooking.

6.) Don't dwell over what people around you are thinking about you/ your behavior. There might be some behavior changes in you after the breakup. Don't worry. That is normal. Just be convinced that you are happy and don't care about them.

7.) Pick some outdoor sports and spend an hour at least on them.

And believe me it is going to bother you for a few months. It is natural and don't try to push yourself to forget everything immediately. Let it happen slowly.

speed3_freak · 2015-01-09T18:38:18+00:00

Although I think just about everything here is great advice, I went about this a little differently. I used it as motivation. Fuck that bitch, she doesn't know what she lost. I am going to do everything I can to prove to her that I am better. I will make her regret leaving me. I will prove to myself that I can be a person that she doesn't deserve.

Lift, read, posture, stretch, focus on work, focus on eating well. After a month or two all of the hard work will change the way you look at things. Eventually you will raise your SMV enough where you really won't care about her anymore and you will be doing it for yourself. You will stop one day and realize that it's been over a month since you even thought to check her facebook status. Nothing better than running into her 6-8 months later and her saying, "Wow, you look great. We should get together sometime." Then your reply is, "maybe" as you walk away from her.

Masonjarteadrinker2 · 2015-01-09T19:47:00+00:00

Don't use the I'm not ready to approach excuse, get out there and talk to these women, only way to get over her is to sleep with a few more and build some relationships with other ones.

HeadingRed · 2015-01-09T21:30:42+00:00

You are like a drunk that has 100's of bottles of booze in the house. Get rid of the liquor and you won't be tempted.

Delete, delete, delete.

creatineboss · 2015-01-10T03:21:58+00:00

Why aren't you taking action to get laid?

Title	Getting over an ex while you currently have no women and are in self improvement mode?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	19
Date	January 9, 2015 8:11 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2ru7yh/getting_over_an_ex_while_you_currently_have_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/getting-over-an-ex-while-you-currently-have-no.192579 https://theredarchive.com/post/192579

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