Do you ever feel like your past LTR girls were short changed?

Atleticomadrid · 2013-12-10T07:53:43+00:00

Nope, as beta as I was during my previous relationship my EX was also fucking crazy. No need to keep in touch with the ex, never leads to anything positive. Start spinning other plates, move on.

johnnight · 2013-12-10T09:29:28+00:00

I became a kind of beta orbiter/provider to an attractive girl, who had boyfriends during this time (never met them). She was my dancing partner, which means hundreds of hours spent together. At the same time I had "offers" from perfectly good girls. My behavior was very beta or rather totally incompetent.

I would not apologize to that girl. Maybe if I was alpha back then, I would be able to get her. What I should have done is cut off any connection with her ASAP and got with any other girl. Have some innocent blue pill love.

I believe that blue pill love was possible before adulthood. No money is involved and humans have not yet tasted adult sex. What comes later is search for alpha fucks or cynical beta gold digging or daddy-for-my-baby hunt. And a lot of other stuff.

abcd_z · 2013-12-10T10:00:19+00:00

No. My first girlfriend was quite obese and I'm still recovering from the relationship with my second girlfriend ending.

I'll tell you what, though. Each time it fails I learn how not to do it the next time around.

First girlfriend: monogamous. Wound up cheating on her. Not proud of it, but there it is.
Conclusion: I don't do monogamy.

Second girlfriend: I wasn't monogamous, but I promised that she would be the most important person in my life. After several years I felt like I owed her (time, explanations, emotional support, my presence) and it cost me my frame, then shortly thereafter the relationship.
Conclusion: My frame weakens when I have a GF. Don't do it.

Ideally I won't have a third girlfriend. Every time I get into a committed relationship I wind up suffering for it.

No, I think my plan from here on out is to live a life full of sex and affection with lovely and lovable, but ultimately interchangeable, women. :)

secularist42 · 2013-12-10T11:03:02+00:00

Expanding on your thought a bit, I do feel bad about my first marriage as I was Alpha when we met. Over the course of the marriage I beta'd the fuck out of myself and she eventually left me for a guy who was who I was when she met me. I didn't understand it at the time and she took a lot of blame from everyone in our lives...when the reality is that it was my fault. I've thought about reaching out to her to explain and apologize for losing myself, but it's been years now and I'm content with letting the past be the past.

Tway_the_Parley · 2013-12-10T08:52:55+00:00

She's already given you the boot, no need to apologise. She knew what she wanted and acted on it, and she sure wasn't doing it as a favour to you.

Wolfwoodd · 2013-12-10T15:12:44+00:00

Yes! I understand exactly how you feel. I even made a point to get back in touch with one of my ex's from years ago, when I was beta (and relationship-impaired). I was a needy asshole when we broke up and I felt really bad about that after I made the transition to Alpha. Now we're good friends (who occasionally have sex).

work-the-balls · 2013-12-10T12:25:14+00:00

The only person you are obligated to is yourself. In my experience guys love girls the way they want to be loved and get shit on for it.

Why should you feel bad? You played by the rules as they were presented.

fruitofmyloom · 2013-12-10T16:02:06+00:00

Nope, I am the fucking man but I beta'd for about 2 months and that's when SHTF. Fickle bitches.

Edit: that being said, I was a total dick throughout the whole thing and she thought I never appreciated her. Over a lunch recently, I told her that I did appreciate her and didn't want her to think I didn't at which point she asked to start getting together which I had to reject outright. She got up and left in 30 seconds.

HeadingRed · 2013-12-10T22:14:29+00:00

I got a couple that I regret loosing over my "alpha land'em, beta when I get 'em" pattern I used to have that I am now glad got me to this point.

Have no desire to seek a "thank you" moment. Might say something if we crossed paths (and not a direct "thank you) but not turning this into a "High Fidelity" moment.

-Anteros- · 2013-12-10T22:21:48+00:00

I'm assuming you had to have some Alpha behavior to even get into a LTR. Managing it after that can be quite the minefield if one does not understand the sexual dynamics. This is why a lot of BP guys say shit like "Be attractive, don't be unattractive", it started as a joke on TV but they take it to heart. They take it to mean that a woman's attraction to a man is some mysterious entity that cannot be understood by the human brain.

Feeling bad for the women in your past is like feeling bad about misspelling words in first grade. Its definitely not your responsibility to take care of their feelings (anymore) so why would you even give it a thought?

part of you wants to say sorry

LOL. No.

[deleted] · 2013-12-11T08:25:23+00:00

Yes. I was an ass in college. Cheated on girls. I could write the bible on how to cheat and not get caught. And I rationalized it horribly. TRP didn't help me out with game, it helped me realize that I had a vicious hamster too. I'm a lot older now and I do feel like they were short changed. Now that I have the perspective of a guy approaching his 30s, I see that ever year, hell EVERY MONTH for a woman in her twenties is precious.

No white-knighting here, it's just that women have so little time before they hit the wall. So keeping a chick hanging for 1 year while you run the train on sorority girls, is fucked up in that it forces her to spend 10% of her best years on a wasted prospect. This is why my moral code (which I'm not saying is RP or unRP, just my own take) is be honest in your intentions. Which means that if she accepts the deal and chooses to be with me knowing that I'll not be committing, then it was at least her choice to do so.

Generally though, I don't feel my past LTRs were shortchanged at all. In fact, I generally don't feel that I was either. There's this Pusha T line I really like that's something like "Don't question if you ever stood a chance with him / a better question is did you enjoy the dance with him." I think that's accurate. I enjoyed the majority of the "dance" with most of my LTRs and I know they did too. When the ending is bad, the female mind may try to repaint the relationship as all bad, but we have the ability to remember the highs too, and recall that she did, indeed, get a lot of value out of simply being in your reality.

batfish55 · 2013-12-12T01:33:24+00:00

Nope. When things fell apart, there's always at least a little blame to be had on both sides. Although, I am embarrassed about my sexual performance with the first few/several girls I was with. It takes a while to learn how to properly make a girl squeal.

j_arbuckle2012 · 2013-12-12T00:11:20+00:00

Your past LTR girls were short changed for using you as a beta bucks provider while she fucked your alpha friends? Sure. You do that. I'mma go eat some cake.

Wolfwoodd · 2013-12-10T11:29:36+00:00

So do any of you RPs ever feel like the previous women in your life got short changed, and that a part of you wants to say sorry for them getting the beta you and now the Alpha you?

Sooooooo betaaaaaaa.

Title	Do you ever feel like your past LTR girls were short changed?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	25
Date	December 10, 2013 7:42 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1sj8o1/do_you_ever_feel_like_your_past_ltr_girls_were/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/do-you-ever-feel-like-your-past-ltr-girls-were.196179 https://theredarchive.com/post/196179

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