That last 15 months have been bumpy at times and I haven't totally followed the steps of dread, rather implementing the steps (often out of order) when I feel they are right in my journey. I am 38 - an 8 at this point. Wife is 41 and a 6-7. 2 kids.

Lifts - Due to knee injury, DL and Squats are 2 months old - DL - 1X320, Sq - 5x185, BP - 8x165, OP 5x115.

Sidebar - Read entire sidebar, NMMNGX2. Started a book club and have been reading other books with men for last 4 months. Currently reading My Secret Garden - a book sharing different women's fantasies.

Coming off a busy week where my kids showed sheep at a fair, my neighbour and I were putting the sheep back in their pens in the pouring rain. I came into the house dripping and my wife asked me to feed the dog as I came in the house. I replied 'no' and went to dry off and change clothes.

The next day we are packing up to leave on a camping holiday and I can see my wife is pissed, I carry on getting everything ready. When we get in the vehicle and leave, I ask her how many days I can expect of her being pissy. She starts ranting how I was so rude the night before about feeding the dog - normally I would laugh or ignore, but this time I went back at her and asked what kind of wife asks her husband to feed the dog when he comes inside dripping wet. This sets her off and she starts wondering why we are going on vacation together and then further why we are even together if we don't like each other. I say only 2 words - Leave Then. She doesn't say any more and the 5 hour drive is pretty quiet.

Nothing happens that night, but the following night I escalate after the kids are in bed and we have the most enthusiastic sex we have had in months. The night after I tell her a modified fantasy from the book I am reading and we have great sex again.

Everyone always talks about the changes take time and the 1,000ft rope with the wife, but there is more to it than that. It has taken a long time for the changes to fully take effect in me. A major change crystallized in my mentally when I uttered the words - leave then. I have taken over the family and am acting like it - she couldn't fully respond to this until I fully embodied it.

I still remember being petrified in the first 6 months that my wife would leave me - having built myself up physically and mentally over the last 15 months, I no longer have this concern and know I have a great life in front of me either way. I also know that at this point, she won't.