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[–]weakandsensitive[M] [score hidden] 6 years ago stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link
Removed. Pity parties belong at relationships.
[–]ImSteveMcQueen11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Breathe. Calm down.
You are benching your weight, congrats. Good work.
This too shall pass. You are going to live through this and prosper.
It is never too late to go RP. I'm almost 14 years older than you and life is good.
You need to realize you will be attractive to a lot of women. There are 3 billion women that are not your ex. Think abundance. It is hard to believe right now, but she isn't everything you thought she was. You will meet smarter, sexier, better women than she was. There is a lot more to life than women.
Getting laid isn't going to solve your problem. You need to give this a bit of time.
What are you doing for YOU these days ? When was the last time you did something just for yourself and enjoyed it ?
[–]MRPFuckMe12 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks man. I know you're right, and it's just the passage of time.
I play music for me. I have two shows next week. I sit in the steam sauna after I workout. That's what I do for me.
[–]ImSteveMcQueen0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do more, buddy. Soothe your soul. Take care of yourself. Do not sit at home alone and stew. Get out. Make some new friends. Meet some new people. Visit a new place.
Don't dwell on your old life. Start planning and living your new life. Make a list of everything you want to do and be. Start living.
[–]life2thefullest1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice OG Mandino reference from the scrolls. His other affirmations are great too.
Scroll 1: Today I begin a new life. Scroll 2: I will greet this day with love in my heart. Scroll 3: I will persist until I succeed. Scroll 4: I am nature’s greatest miracle. Scroll 5: I will live this day as if it is my last. Scroll 6: Today I will be master of my emotions. Scroll 7: I will laugh at the world. Scroll 8: Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold. Scroll 9: I will act now. Scroll 10: I will pray for guidance.
Repeat these to yourself often and situations that you find yourself in become a lot easier.
The book for reference:The greatest salesman in the world.
[–]matrixtospartanatLVMRP APPROVED3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You may not be having PIV sex, but you are mind-fucking yourself pretty well.
You are 36 years old, a fucking perfect age to start over. You are RP aware. If you could have picked the circumstances, you couldn’t do any better.
Embrace the spartan life and stoicism.
Start reading books about game and approaching women. Models. Art of seduction. The Way of the Superior Man. Bang. Day Bang. Etc...
Yes, you’ve already read all that shit.
Now read it again from your new perspective.
The goal here is to get your MIND right for the next phase of your life.
You know what needs to be done.
And it’s ok to take time to heal emotionally.
One suggestion;
Pick an exercise. 10 burpees, 5 pull-ups, 10 SLOW pushups, whatever.
Every single time you have a thought about the ex-wife that bothers you, do the fucking exercise.
Realize intellectually that, your instinctual thoughts of the ex-wife with someone else sexually is a product of millennia of biological programming.
You are going to feeelz that shit physically, so retrain your mind and body to make a different connection.
1 year from now, when you are banging a 25yo HB9 with a REAL n-count <5, you will look back on this event as a gift from the universe.
I’ve reached the point in my marriage where I truly DNGAF any more. I know she senses it. I truly feel I would be better off without her in many ways, not the least of which is banging younger-hotter-tighter.
And I’m 19 years older than you.
Thanksgiving musing;
Last night in bed, bellies full and not in the mood for sex, she asked me if I would ever cheat on her. I said,
“Baby, if a man gets full on a Thanksgiving meal prepared with love and served with a heart of desire and submissiveness, why would he then go eat somewhere else?
Always give me a reason to say thanks and don’t let me get hungry.”
I wish I could say it ended in sex, but I was really too tired.
You have more life in front of you than behind you.
Embrace it.
[–]MRPFuckMe11 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you. That's actually really helpful. I'm going to take your push-ups suggestion. And I will look forward to your prediction for one year from now as hope for better days.
[–]KagedRageius2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7e5npo/your_personal_inferno_the_gateway_to_releasing/?st=JAEET0I2&sh=cc44fe5a
Embrace the pain.
Thanks. I am embracing it and it fucking sucks. Hopefully the meaningless of it kicks in soon.
[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
you had better get your shit together or go live with momma.
just remember momma #2 already kicked you to the curb, so what have you learned ?
[–]MRPFuckMe15 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I learned it's just me out there, flapping in the wind. And yeah, it's scary. And yes you're right. And you're a dick.
[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Listen to me
There are going to be a lot of times in your life when you are sleeping next to a woman and feel alone, and lonely , that is wehn you know something is wrong
Learn to embrace being alone with you and your thoughts, take full advantage of the next few months to clean up you, your thoughts and your position in life, don't fuck your job up
Dead lifts, Everyone talks shit about 1 rep or only needing 5 reps per work out Work it just like a squat, warm up 1 or 2 sets and kill three sets. Add a variance of shoulder shrug to keep the juices flowing
Be strong, this is when you start carving out a mission
What do you want ?
What I want I keep on my phone and read it every day:
-Lots of friends, a few very close ones -A good income - $70,000+ -The love and respect of a good and mature and beautiful, kind, caring woman -Opportunities for my daughter -Joy -A connection with the divine -A healthy, good-looking body -A healthy mindset, positive and self-assured
[–]hystericalbonding1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Haven't been doing deadlifts
Do a few light sets of deadlifts twice per week to learn the lift - maybe 95 or 135lbs to start. If you're paranoid, then start with technique plates. Find a local powerlifting gym and see if there are any workshops to get pointers. Higher volume submaximal work is the way to go if you've had pain with the lift in the past. If you're scared of deadlifts, then the experience will be immersive enough to take your mind off shit that doesn't matter, like your ex-wife. She still has way too much power over you.
[–]MRPFuckMe10 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No shit she does.
Thanks for the deadlifting tips.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I blew out my back for the 10th and last time deadlifting 135.
I love em, miss em, but I'm finished with em
[–]SteveStJohn1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You have joint custody of an 8-year old daughter. You have the best wing man you could ever ask for.
Since you have no money you have to find things to do with her on the cheap. That's an opportunity to get outside with your little girl. Go to parks, museums, the library even. Just get out of the apartment with her. Take her to workout so that she learns about good health.
You'll get noticed by women and the more you dote on your little girl the more they'll want some of that attention.
Do the right thing! It will pay untold benefits in all your relationships. Especially the one with the person who will eventually choose your retirement home.
[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I discovered MRP when it was too little, too late.
If the goal is to save the marriage then I would call that the biggest understatement yet.
Fortunately the goal is to improve the man so that your wife (if not this one then the next one) respects you and treats you well. For THAT goal? Broh welcome- because you are right on time!
I'm a zombie. I can barely keep my composure.
I think you just need to fuck something hard.
I'm pretty sure I need to fuck something.
Yep.
You know you can get a professional for that problem.
it just makes me think of her sucking this dude's dick
Whoa! Of all that you wrote this is the most concerning and the most telling. You must get past this woman. There is no other choice.
I almost never tell guys this but I think you need to go monk mode. Do it for 6 months. No pussy. No women. No contact. Commit to being a ghost for 6 monhs.
In that time read up on PUA and unfuck yourself.
deadlifts scare me
Me too! Low back disc herniation over here so no Deadlift for me. The good news is that Leg press works just fine along with a couple back/shoulder exercises.
Don't know what I'm expecting really.
That is the question you do need to figure out. Can't really help you with that one though. It is all on you. What ARE you expecting? Hint: When you figure that out you will have your goal, and the reason that you get out of bed in the morning.
I think you will find your answer in the Stoics- The Meditations of Marcus Aralius is the go to book. I am also reading a very entertaining book that is philosophically similar- The Art of Not Giving a Fuck.
6 months? Wow. It's already been three since I fucked. Well, I know you're the professor, so I'll take it under advisement. I mean, I'm already in monk mode. I think that's clear.
I'll tell you what, I'll stay in monk mode for six months, hit some milestones. But if some hottie throws some ass at me, I won't say no--unless it's my ex.
[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Kick it around. It's just a thought I had. Takes the pressure completely off and you are in no condition to be practicing game anyway. Soon, but not now. Also, don't forget that it doesn't count if you pay for it. : )
[–]2235520 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No one said it will be easy, and change is always painful. Accept, you are going through another phase of growth. Right now, your reality and your dreams/expectations came together, and its not looking good. Fuck it, at least you have a road map on how to get yourself out of this hole through MRP.
[–]MRPFuckMe10 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
When reality and fantasy collide, reality always wins. Yes, MRP has been very helpful so far and even though I'm divorced, I keep up with it.
[–]HobbesTheBrave 1 points1 points1 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
My life isn't working. That's probably why this hit me so fucking hard.
You're aware of how awful your life is right now. If you choose to take the hard and strenuous path upward, then it's going to be tough. As bad as it is right now, it could be worse. You could be blind, deaf, uglier, fatter, somehow worse. You could not be subscribing to MRP, and we wouldn't care about you. Unless you're severely disabled, you can get up. And if you are, do you have another option, other than the hard things?
Make sure that this moment, that this moment is a pitch-dark valley, and not a plateau going downwards. Do the hard things which takes you upwards.
Not expecting any hand holding. Don't know what I'm expecting really.
Read every comment, pay attention to which is the most up-voted. Take note of what people tell you to do, and what they expect you to do, how long it might take, in order for you to get to that better and brighter place.
[–]MRPFuckMe10 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. I'll tell you one thing. I'm ready to do the work.
[–]HobbesTheBrave0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I've basically doubled my exercise regimen, doubled my time meditating, been furiously looking for a new job, just anything to distract myself. But I'm fucking empty. I'm a zombie. I can barely keep my composure.
Get a hobby? Do you have something which makes you happy, both during and after? Like playing the guitar, or something. You need light, something to look forward to, so you can endure everything for X amount of time, a countdown, until you get that light again.
I do play music actually. I have two shows next week. Hopefully it helps.
[–]HobbesTheBrave0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Take walks in nature, look at something grand near you. Mountains, oceans, the sky, the fields. Wonder, basically.
Develop a new hobby? I've read all my life, like a nerd, but thanks be to MRP, I've also sort of become a jock. Noticed that I've developed a categorical attitude towards those who don't exercise regularly enough. I know I'd haze and put ten-year-younger-me into the gym, if I'd ever meet him.
Can you think of something positive you can develop similarly? Something you've always wanted to do. You know that cliché.
[–]Alphaphux 1 points1 points1 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Mate try and find a hobby that gives you “flow”. If you haven’t heard of it google “mental flow”
I play music. I have a couple of shows coming up. I like building with wood, but I'm not that great at it and currently too broke for materials.
You’re 36, fit, single, only have one child and she’s a girl. Bro you’ve won the lottery. It’ll just take a little while to show up in your bank account. Keep focused on the fundamentals and you’ll do great.
Every Day I love you less and less - Kaiser Chiefs. Listen to it a lot, make it your mantra. Start looking forward to your new life. Hang out with men, go to strip clubs, do all the things you wanted to do when you were married but could not. Consider a trip with a friend to Thailand or Vegas. Don’t talk about your ex when you are with your bros. Don’t stop going to the gym. Meditate. But some good books. Bust a nut in a hooker. You will be alright, you are owning your feelings, you are going through it, not around it. It will fade like all things do. Peace
[–]youmolide 1 points1 points1 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
On Oneitis - stole this from someone - we all go thru it, I did this year. One day she'll do something or say something or write something and you'll just say to yourself 'What the fuck was I thinking getting involved with someone like this ?'
Then the Oneitis will be over. Just takes time - just wait it out.
Don't ever obsess over any woman. It's your brain fucking with you. They're all the same person, they're all just as boring and cynical and manupulative and selfish. They're just nothing. You're horny and your idiot brain thinks that obsessing over an individual girl will make it better, but it won't.
What the fuck was I thinking getting involved with someone like this ?
I'm really looking forward to this.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
SHE DOESN'T FUCKING LIKE YOU ANYMORE.
Scream this out loud until your oneitis is gone. Over and over again. Yes. I'm absolutely serious.
No she doesn't. I'll try it... next time I'm driving.
[–]SteelToeShitKicker0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When you were married, I bet you had no time, but there were things you wanted to do. You now have time. Do them. Don't mope.
Work your job the best you can, you don't need to start a downward spiral. Lift consistently. Get out and get some sun. Go to a coffee shop and read a book. Nothing sucks worse than staying in your empty apartment and being alone with your thoughts and memories.
If you have pain deadlifting, check out Rippetoe's Starting Strength book. He goes into extreme detail on form, it can really be beneficial. I have spent far too much money on a PT when I should have just bought this book.
[–]iamtheswoop0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
God this community is amazing. Such good answers in response! You really hit a jackpot here
I agree. I will probably read through all of this several times.
[–]rocknrollchuckMRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you derive your self worth and life satisfaction from your partner. Classic co-dependent. That's why you feel the way you do right now, and I bet it goes away as soon as you get into another relationship.
I would recommend rereading NMMNG and taking the time to do the exercises, writing out your answers so you can reflect on them and gain some insight into your co-dependent tendencies.
The replies in this thread are full of gold. Good work, people.
[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red-1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Ha! Sucks man.
If it makes you feel better, the groundwork on the new dick was months ago
[–]MRPFuckMe11 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm aware of that.
[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red-1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Either way. You thought your dick was irreplaceable, she disagreed.
Live. And learn, use that anger to look hawt, hate fuck the first girl you can. You'll be fine
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