Something I realized during the deterioration of my marriage, which led to self-reflection and eventually reading Gorilla Mindset and landing here, was that if shit really did go south I would be totally fucked. My house was in her name, I used her bank account, she was on the title for my car which was a coupe and I couldn't even fit car seats in it, half our credit cards were in her name (I propelled her over 800 credit score she hasn't worked in 4 years!), she had full access to all the finances, straight up we are so tied together financially that it would be a disaster. I was in debt $10K credit cards and paying off two cars and a house. I realized that my beta thinking, "she's the one! Of course we are tied together we will be together foreverrr <3 <3" caused me to make some very unwise decisions.
 

To have a true abundance mindset you can have no fear of hitting the eject button and so should be in a state where you are so on top of your shit that the onus is on you to handle it. In the past few months I have taken some very important steps.
 

I refinanced the home which is in my name now (and hers). Main benefits for me is I don't pay PMI anymore and about 1% less interest - I have equity so this was a must. If we were underwater leaving it in hers would have been smarter. I opened a new checking account in my name and transferred most of my money to it. The fact that I had to get her approval from the bank solidified this decision. Still working on the transition. This benefits me because it's a smarter account and earns a nice interest. She has no access. I got a cash back credit card in my name and got her a card for it which she uses for all purchases. I can cancel her card at any time. I traded in the coupe and got a nice sedan for my commute that I could easily put two car seats in if I needed to be a single father. If shit blows up, she won't have any money for a lawyer without going to her parents. She can't take all the money out of my account, etc. I started out doing this because of her but in the end, I did it for me. I should be living as an independent man who owns his shit and takes care of all finances. If she leaves, none of that should change. Life will go on.
 

Money is power so don't be a chump like me who freely relinquishes it to his wife. If I had been more beta, she would have been giving me an allowance out of MY paycheck like her mother does for her father. It's important to be in charge of your own life and not live it like you are both the same person. Things change. Divorce is always an option. Free yourself from these constraints and abundance is more palpable. You don't want to be in my previous situation if it goes south - luckily I have been able to take control.
 

-ddp