Quick background: started unplugging about 4 1/2 months ago after being introduced to TRP. Read the whole main RP manuscript in the first 2 days because I sensed it was the missing puzzle piece in my life. Read all of the prereq material, TRM, MMSLP, 16 commandments of Poon, Book of Pook, Way of the Superior Man, and 48 Laws of Power. 6'1", 193 lbs. Lift 4-5 days/week.
Picked up my wife from the airport last Friday. Had the night planned - Dinner and a HS football game (relatives playing). I gave her the option of 2 restaurants, 1 of which she suggested the night before. I had plan A if the plane was on time or late: quick dinner but good quality/rep place and plan B; the place she suggested if the plane was early. The plane was early, so I presented both options knowing she would choose plan B, but it fit the timeframe great.
**Minor shit tests that night; I STFU on every single one of them, but I remained upbeat and changed the subject after each of them. None of them were overly disrespectful where they needed to be addressed. At the game, I'm got the impression that she was eye fucking a guy at one point. I walked away and STFU. I know this kind of thing shouldn't bother me, so I don't need a lecture - I'm just not there yet... but I'm getting closer to DGAF with stuff like that. She could tell I was upset when I came back, and she asked what was wrong, I just STFU. The feeling went away, and we just went on with our night, having a decent time. We get home, I initiated, and we had great sex.
Saturday comes along, and I have a movie an lunch planned. She started complaining about how she never gets to choose the restaurant, but I STFU since we both know that really she chose last's night's place. We go to lunch and the movie of my choice, but a movie that also happens to be one she mentioned a couple weeks ago - so, I wanted to go, and it was a slam dunk. We got home, I initiated, and we had good sex again.
Sunday rolled around, and I could tell she was in "a mood." I am at the point where I spot the demeanor, and I know the shit tests are coming. She tells me she is going for a walk, and without looking at me (I'm still in bed), she walks out and says see you in a bit. I laid in bed. No biggie. The day rolls on, and the shit tests are coming with greater frequency as our weekly weekend party comes closer. I STFU. A couple times I left to go get some errands done. One time I left without saying anything, and she came at me hard. I said to her, "do you think you are approaching this in a productive way?" She simply says "no." She tells me I am being passive aggressive. I grab her and give her a big 10 second kiss. After I'm done, I say "was that passive aggressive or just aggressive?" I know maybe DEERing a little, but it seemed effective, and the situation was diffused. She dropped it and didn't mention it again.
**Bedtime comes around, and she starts talking about how much I've changed and she just wants the old (Bobby) back. She said that she doesn't understand what I am doing and that it seems like some kind of "Jedi Mind Tricks." Mind you, my primary tools are STFU and leaving for a while to run errands some times. I told her I'm done talking, kissed her on the forehead, and I said goodnight. I turned on my side, and watched TV until I fell asleep.
**Don't underestimate the power of STFU. I need work on AM and AA, so that's my main go-to. It's taken me practice and reading the suggestions on here, but now I have an added tool: Jedi Mind tricks.
Today, she called me (on the road for a couple days) and told me what an awesome weekend we had. Actions speak louder than words. She sometimes protests the changes, but our sex has doubled and then tripled since I started unplugging. Once you get though the angry phase and have improved your SMV, things get easier. Dread levels should be taken slowly to prevent nuclear shock. Learn a little bit at a time - you can't change and go from beta to alpha overnight. Sprinkle a little alpha, and keep sprinkling until the cake is covered, but address comfort tests when they are legit. Often, the comfort tests are hidden in the middle of a bunch of fitness (shit) tests. Pay attention, and most importantly focus on your mission, not your woman. Then, your woman will follow.
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