[FR] One Year In

Well, it's been a bit over a year since I swallowed the pill so I thought I'd make a short post. It's short because almost everything has gone by the book. I don't want to post stuff people have already said before.

A year ago, I was in a near-dead bedroom. I was 110% beta. My wife on a pedestal. Beta wife goggles on. I thought she was 10/10, perfect in every way. My happiness came from her validation of me.

Like many others, I was alpha at work, and I had been a lot more alpha at the beginning of the relationship. But with the kids, marriage, etc., I eagerly and willingly slid into betadom. I let her decide where to live, where to go for dinner, what schools to send our kids to. I thought I was delegating decisions to her but in fact I was abdicating my responsibilities.

It was pathetic. Begging for sex. Complaining for sex. Trying to nice her back. Presents. Trips. All of which just made her disgusted.

It was when she told me to go and find myself a mistress because she didn't want to have sex with me any more that I came to my senses. I found TRP and MRP, and... enlightenment.

I hit the gym hard. Dropped 30-40 pounds, and I've since gained most of that back in lean muscle mass. Learned how to handle shit tests, comfort tests. Read through all the material on the sidebar, and more. (I recommend Sperm Wars and Sex at Dawn as additional material).

So... what happened? Everything you guys said would. This was the sequence:

1. First, the ridicule (you are too skinny, I don't like it, why do you keep on working out?)

2. Then, return of hot sex (went 0 to 60 overnight)

3. Then, nagging doubts, "I was such a beta pussy she must have had an affair"

4. Then, beta wife goggles falling off: "She's not as good looking as I thought, and certainly less attractive than women who are now hitting on me"

5. Then, temptation: "These 20 year girls are hitting on me..."

6. Then, true OI and abundance mentality: "I don't care if I have sex with her. I could have sex with many attractive women if I wanted to."

7. Then, true self-validation: "I am doing this for me."

So... where are things now?

I'm still working out hard, and I am 90% of where I want to be in terms of bodybuilding. I don't want to post my photo because of the (new) tattoos, but I look like this guy now. With a dress shirt on, it's unimpressive but in a T-shirt or shirtless, I look ripped. I lost a lot of weight off my face and my jawlines are now clearly visible and my face looks much better.

The icing on the cake was when I was at a checkup recently and my cute young doctor did a double-take when I took my shirt off. I think I heard her gulp.

My wife is now initiating more than me now. She can't keep her hands off me. Not only that, she's a lot happier, more relaxed. Shit tests are almost non-existent. I have all the sex I can handle.

I still get approached by good looking women almost daily. I flirt with them, but no longer have to fight an urge to pursue them because I'm so used to it now.

Perhaps the best thing is that I look to myself for validation rather than to others. And, I am still working my butt off every day to make myself a better person.

TL;DR: This. Shit. Works.

[Edit] Yeah I know, it sounds hard to believe. Just like some of the posts I read when I started on this sub. But trust me, it's real. I will say that I was never in terrible shape, and was a serious athlete in the distant past, so had a bit of a head start. YMMV. But frankly, it's not just the physical part that was the important part - the frame, OI, shit test handling, those are equally important. You have to lift, absolutely, but you don't have to get completely ripped - wife turned around before I got to looking like that. I think you have to lose the dad bod though.

Couple of things that did veer from textbook:

1. I never really went through the anger stage. I never quite reached the completely dead bedroom stage so I found MRP earlier than many guys.

2. It didn't take one month per year of marriage. It happened faster. The rule probably should be it can take up to one month per year of marriage.