My wife has always had a temper, or should I say I always allowed my wife to have a temper. Any small grievance was meet with an over the top melt down and accusations of me not caring about her and our relationship. Her inability to tell me when something bothered her without giving in to hysterics was annoying and something I vowed to change. Using the tools I learned her I was able to show her that her negatively lashing out instead of coming calmly to try and find a solution would only lead to her being frustrated.

Two days ago my wife was bothered by an off hand comment I made. Instead of freaking out like she used to she waited until she calmed down and sent me a text where she respectfully explained what she was feeling and why. Issue was resolved in two messages. When we got home from work I told her that I can see how much she has grown in regards to dealing with her emotions and I appreciate the effort she has but in to handle situations more maturely. Her eyes lit up. She looked at me like I just told her we were going on a vacation to Europe. By validating her from a masculine frame I made her happier with that thank you than any gift I gave her during my beta days.

Just like we want to lead, our wife wants to follow a strong man. A captain needs to let his crew know not only when they make mistakes, but also praise them when they succeed. A small thank you from a strong captain can validate her and make her feel loved and more secure in the marriage. Praise in the bedroom is great but praise outside the bedroom is equally as important. I don't think this is something I should make a habit of, but in this case it seemed like an appropriate action to take. Fellow members of MRP what ways and when do you show overt appreciation to your first officers?