How to confront passive aggressive behavior?

taon4r5 · 2015-06-03T14:44:52+00:00

Withdrawing attention to achieve an end, from what I've understood here, is SOP in the MRP playbook. I don't see how it should be clever when we do it and "passive aggressive bullshit" when she does it.

Difference is, as I see it, you're fully aware of it and can handle accordingly. You want to confront it appropriately and lay out your expectations? Okay. You want to go fully OI about it? Be honest with yourself about whether you can do it, or whether you'd just be resentfully white-knuckling it until you blow up. OI isn't "pretending" it doesn't bother you. It's actually not letting it bother you.

In short, whatever you call her tactics, she's gotten to you. I can't predict what her aim is in doing this, if she even has one, but it's working. She has you rattled.

fnordsnord · 2015-06-03T15:47:50+00:00

While there are exceptions, women are usually uncomfortable communicating directly. That's a guy thing. What's frank and honest to you may very well be abrasive and rude to her.

I don't recommend confronting her over this behavior. I'd ignore it and carry on as usual. When you're ready for sex, make your move and escalate. If she turns you down, go do something else without being butthurt.

That, however, is about YOUR relationship with HER.

Taking the kids to school without letting you see them is a different matter.

In a calm moment, without dragging anything else into it, casually let drop, "I missed saying goodbye to the kids this morning. I know we were in a hurry to get out of here, but please make sure I get to see them before you leave."

[deleted] · 2015-06-03T23:39:27+00:00

I don't see her actions as passive aggressive.

She didn't want to do afternoon sex, so she agreed to make it up to you that night. She got caught up in some bullshit, fell asleep and was still willing to follow through on her agreement. You say you are tired and sleep late, she respectfully lets you sleep instead of waking you up.

Really her only mistake seems to be poor time management. If there are two ways to read the situation it's probably best to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. In any event, even if she was making some sort of point, ignoring it would be the best path anyways.

En_sigma · 2015-06-04T12:40:38+00:00

If she can get herself and the kids up and dressed and fed and out of the house before you WAKE UP (?) then you are not paying attention.

Expect the unexpected and if hugging your kids is that important (and it is) then be aware of her stupidity and you can anticipate it.

When this stuff happens, get out of bed and hug your kids goodbye and then swat her butt and tell her you want steak for dinner.

And then roomate her at dinner.

UEMcGill · 2015-06-03T15:29:50+00:00

There's shit tests, and there's bad behavior. If you feel this is on the side of bad behavior, nuke it. My wife has tried to turn that shit on me. I gave her the IDGAF attitude because she was storming around acting like a bitch. So when she started into me about how I was "ruining the vacation" because she was mad I told her point blank. "Your a big girl who can use her big girl words. If somethings bothering you, say it. Otherwise I don't need this shit, because I'm going to have fun without you" She quickly got out was bothering her, and has been more forthcoming since. So say it to her, be clear. "I have needs, and by denying sex, you deny it to both of us. Then for you to run around and avoid me all day, is bullshit I don't need." If your at the right stage, you lay the heavy dread on. Tell her point blank "I don't care if you fuck me or not, but someone will". Refer to /r/bluepillprofessor s levels of dread to find out if you're there yet.

Deal with bad behavior head on.

iRbab00n · 2015-06-03T14:35:56+00:00

never turn down sex. EVER. fuck her hard enough and avoid the starfish.

Title	How to confront passive aggressive behavior?
Author	midlifedick
Upvotes	7
Comments	15
Date	June 3, 2015 2:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/38df3l/how_to_confront_passive_aggressive_behavior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/how-to-confront-passive-aggressive-behavior.201773 https://theredarchive.com/post/201773

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