I have been gym-dedicated for 3.5 months. I wasn't dedicated before then. My work ethic there and the physical results she sees prompted her to adopt her own running plan (for an upcoming 5K we are doing together) and I recommended a weight-training plan as well. That was 6 weeks ago.

Her primary impetus was, "to get a faster 5K time." Then the secondary (probably her true primary) reason came out: "I want to lose 10 lbs." She's always had issue with her stomach and she wishes her ass was a little bigger.

Her sex drive is somewhat connected to how she sees herself... but most of that is a confidence issue. Initially on the RP path, my changes put her off... but as the "Brad Pitt" theory goes: she can't deny what she actually wants.

For the weight training, her initial push back was, "I don't want to get big like a guy. looks like a man"

"Your cousin has bad genetics and applies a poorly though-out diet with too much time in the sun."

So I gave her one day with DL, Squat, BP, and OHP each in a 3x12 format. It was clumsy at first but I found her limits and readjusted and now she has been making steady gains. What she doesn't know is that The plan I put her on will do exactly what she doesn't want (muscle mass) but I know it isn't going to be body builder mass (which she is afraid of.) It was mixed with cycling and swimming (for a triathlon sprint she is doing) and, of course, running.

Always with the, "it's too much weight" or "can't I do less?" But AWALT: watch what they do, not what they say. It's too heavy... but she always completed the set. And the next week was heavier. I kept records for her. She has seen how the weights have gone up and the short sets have gotten completed in following weeks.

Last night I noticed she had developed the ass-to-hamstring crease example and I was running my fingers through it while I told her how fucking sexy her ass was.

"I know! I was feeling it in the shower this morning!"

BTW, thanks deadlifts.

Then, today, the following text exchange occurred:

Her:

I'm wearing a pair of jeans today that I had stopped wearing a while back because they were snug. They fit fine today, so that's a good sign, right?

Me:

Looks like waist measurement > weight checking. It also looks like my little sexpot is getting sexier every day.

I'm happy that your hard work and dedication is paying off.

Her:

Why thank you my love.

I want to do like Tuesday/Thursday weight days during summer while <daughter 2> is at school. <Daughter 1> can go to the kids room at the gym.

So we see, by simply applying yourself and putting the dread on the simmer with your body changes, you can influence your wife to make positive changes and then associate her hard work and success with you. Furthermore, once she sees results, she'll be hooked but eventually her association of these things to you will fade, but her habits will stick.

Now is the hard part: My SMV has gone way up, and hers is going to go up now too: confidence begets sex, sex reinforces habits, her good habits beget confidence, ad infnitum.

It's called "Hard Mode" for a reason.

Until then... Get a hobby, build something, and LIFT!