Have lurked and posted under throwaways a few times for several years- have been on/off the game since I discovered CH in 2012. As things have deteriorated in our family for medical/health reasons, I realized the only way to salvage the marriage and family was through focus and implementation of MRP tactics. I needed to Oak-up. We weren't completely a DB couple, but close. While sex is extremely important to me, it was down the list of things I needed to change for the good of all of us. What I have learned from MRP tells me that by being the RP Oak of the family, the important things will be taken care of, and sex will happen because of that. Take care of the kids, the money, maintain frame, tease and play, agree and amplify to pass shit tests, ignore the hamster, captain the ship. These take pressure off of her, let her know she is taken care of by a man she can respect which will produce desire. I have seen good results from these changes, mild and not obvious ones, but results for sure. However, I have to share this anecdote because it was a mind-blowing validation of the theory here.

The weather was nice the other evening, we were all outside, kids playing and I'm enjoying a beer in the sunshine. We had been discussing having the driveway paved and the expense involved there. We've also considered an addition to the house because we could use the extra space but we had not seriously discussed it. She brought up some ideas for the addition that were far beyond what we had considered before (which i liked) and probably 2 to 3 times the price of what we had been talking before. I told her, "I would love that too, but that would be a pretty big construction loan we're talking about." She agreed. At that moment, and just off-the-cuff because I have been reading so much MRP lately, I looked her in the eye and quasi-teasingly said, "You know if I get that big a loan for this addition, I'm going to need sex 3 times a week." Her jaw dropped, and she stormed up the steps to the back door. She turned before going in and said "You know, it's comments like that that make me think of leaving you." Inside, I went full stop, but being a few beers in and thinking RP, I know it didn't show. I raised an eyebrow and smiled and said "Oh Yeah? ok." She slammed the door behind her, I carried on with my fine evening watching the kids play outside and grilling dinner. She was silent treatment through dinner and after until we started a movie in the living room. A few minutes into it, something changed and she looked over at me and mentioned that we could sneak upstairs for sex while the kids were watching the movie. She has NEVER, even on a good horny day made that kind of offer. I told her (very agreeably) naw, now wasn't a good time. She was acting very strange the rest of the evening. We got all 3 kids to bed, asleep, I put the youngest in her crib and we went to our room. I climb in bed, look over, and she has stripped naked. She climbs in and instigates. She hasn't instigated worth a shit since we were dating in college. I played it cool the day after, like nothing had happened, had sex again the next night. Haven't had sex 2 nights in a row since college probably. This is running long, but I wanted to share the win with you all since this place has been such a huge help to us.

EDIT for relevant info: she was sincerely angry. Also, she's a penny pincher and saver, not materialistic, who generally hates using credit. I gave her permission to dream big, is how the conversation started. I probably want the addition more than she does.