Tell us about your successful RP marriage!

justgrif · 2015-03-16T03:00:06+00:00

Unless you have highly vetted the woman, don't do it.

Unless she's willing to put in the hard work to continually work to make you happy even if you haven't started appreciating it, don't do it.

Unless she's willing to make sacrifices for your happiness, don't do it.

Unless she's understanding of your goals, needs, and desires, don't do it.

Unless she's patient, intelligent, understanding, empathetic, self-reliant, and capable, don't do it.

Unless she's continually adding value to your life over an extended amount of time while not taking value through any of the following (harping, screeching, whining, complaining, bitching, negativity, etc.), don't do it.

Unless she's able to both understand and appreciate the male perspective, while also understanding the cognitive biases of the female perspective, don't do it. This applies to any number of male issues including paternity, etc.

Unless you make yourself happiest because you're also her making her happy, don't do it.

Unless she rejects feminism, the idea of socially correct equality, or any of the sjw tendencies that gets stuffed down the throat, don't do it.

Unless you're willing and able to completely throw this woman under the bus should she try to fuck with you, the woman you've probably decided to commit to, don't fucking do it. Without this, you will not consistently be holding high standards. Because, a woman can come after you after 20 years, and the court can still decide to screw you.

The chances of you getting screwed are incredibly high. Know the risks and vet the woman.

Now, if she passes all these criterion, realize how potentially incredible this type of woman could be. Then recognize that AWALT. Then recognize that you still need to hold frame, put in the work, before it turns into a positive feedback loop.

Now, if you still want to marry this woman after recognizing all of the above, I don't see why you shouldn't.

E: one final one, most important. Unless she is able to understand what you deem flaws in her behavior, and take the actions necessary and make the effort necessary to correct them (this may be through really talking with you), don't do it.

This also presupposes that you are a high value man who is making the effort to make her life better. Because if you aren't high value yourself, who the fuck are you to expect the best from a woman?

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-16T02:12:46+00:00

Welcome to /r/marriedredpill where we are pro STAYING married but not necessarily pro GETTING married.

I would peruse /r/deadbedrooms before you go any further. What exactly is the benefit of you turning over your property division to the state (aka get married). Marriage gives all power to the woman while the man must continue paying, sometimes 20 years after the divorce a dude makes it rich and guess who has to pay? Again. 20 years later.

To add some substance, I believe THE critical issue in marriage is sexual denial. Women will use the rationing of her body in almost every single case if you let her. Thus, before you even think of marriage you MUST have full agreement that her body is yours. When and where you want it. That must be an overt, direct part of any marriage. You may recall the traditional vows are to love honor and obey. If she obeys you in nothing else she must be willing to obey you in that. You MUST be willing to walk at any time if she goes back on that or it will eventually be /r/deadbedrooms. No prisoners.

So my successful marriage? Red Pill plus 2 years. I managed to turn "Marriage A" featuring a bitter, angry, whiny, sex denying little icy shrew who Shit Tested continually and gave it up about twice a month, into "Marriage B" featuring a warm, even hot little slut with the right warm up who rarely shit tests, is sweet and submissive in her demeanor, and she gives it up every other day. My successful marriage? The Hell of Marriage A for more than 20 years. The bliss of marriage B for about 2 years.

TLDR: Why do you want to get married?

CaptainWasHere · 2015-03-16T12:20:59+00:00

I never recommend Marriage to anyone. I also don't say that nobody should get married. It's a weird stance I have on the subject.

I know it can work, but that's because I know the effort I am putting into it and all of the research I did on my lady before ever getting married.

Just from your post I see some warning signs. I don't mean to be all doom and gloom, but you need to take this as an opportunity to humble yourself before Men who have been there and done that so heed the advice you're given - take what applies disregard the rest.

As for what I'm seeing.

Please, tell us about your marriage

Us, I give advice for the Man as that's my area of expertise. Your woman may not like the advice and some of my recommendations will be compromised when she knows exactly why and how you are doing what you do.

I'm the man she's always wanted

Did she tell you that? Do you think you're the only one she has thought that about? You didn't give us much in regards to your situation so I have nothing to go on.

What are the lasting successes and challenges?

Nothing is a lasting success as you grind every day. The challenges, not becoming complacent and remaining humble enough to accept weaknesses in every area.

What has been hardest to maintain?

Relationships with other Men. I have cut time parasites from my life (Men who just bitch and have no motivation). I have placed other priorities (Grad School, writing a book, reading, lifting) ahead of those relationships and that is something I need to work on.

Was any advice good at first but not in the long run?

Early in my life I was raised with the feminized views society placed on me, that was bad in the long run. Fortunately I pulled my head out of my ass and 'unplugged' early on (before Marriage).

Now, for my situation and advice.

I am 28, have been with my lady 12 years and we've been married for 7, you do the Math. I found the closest thing to a unicorn there is and I tested her relentlessly.

Before Marrying her I looked at every aspect of her entire being. From her relationship with her dad to her goals, to how her mom looked - everything.

I joined the Navy and made her wait until I had deployed at least once before marriage, just so she knew exactly what she was getting into and also so I would know if she was loyal. We could have made double the amount of money had we married beforehand, but it's not about finance, I wanted to get married and stay married.

She passed, we married, and we have both continued to work for the best of our relationship as well as ourselves. She has her thing (friends, hobbies, goals), I have mine(friends, hobbies, goals), and we have our thing (stuff we do together).

There is no end goal this was worded perfectly by /u/strategos_autokrator in one of his posts. the reason for that is we are always improving. We are improving as men and we are improving our marriage with our wives. She has to want it too.

Marriage can work, whether you can make it work with your wife...I hope so.

EDIT: another important note. I have achieved a level of success that is uncommon in today's era. That does not mean my woman is 'special. AWALT, if I become complacent her eyes/thoughts will wonder, the relationship will deteriorate, we will become a statistic. AWALT - be Man enough to accept the challenge and work for what you want.

strategos_autokrator · 2015-03-16T10:36:31+00:00

Something that nobody has mentioned is that there is a hidden assumption in your post. You suggest that "success" in marriage is something you achieve. That RP marriage is something you achieve. NO.

In marriage both must always keep improving and moving forward just for things to stay in the same place. If one stops, they can single-handedly ruin the marriage. RP is one perspective on how a man can do his side of things. If you do it, RP suggests that there is a good chance she will be inspired to do her part, but it isn't guaranteed.

There is no "success". There is only constant improvement with the hope it keeps things happy at the moment. If you rest, you ruin the marriage. If she rests, she ruins the marriage.

RP marriage isn't a goal, but an approach to marriage. It is incredibly hard work, and you will never rest. Even if you end up divorced you might be so tied up (kids, financially) that you can't rest either from your hard work.

Sepean · 2015-03-16T07:02:07+00:00

Plan your divorce, both the divorce and the period before the divorce. You need to do this before you get married so you can work out the legal countermeasures you need to take.

For example, a future scenario is that at the time of impending divorce you own a business, you can't pay her half of the business' worth, and you're not able to liquidate it or take up loans against it, so if you divorce her she ends up being a majority shareholder. In your business. A woman who resents you for kicking her out to make room for a younger model.

Plan it out. Make up different scenarios for what your assets and income sources might be, and figure put how a divorce plans out for each, and ESPECIALLY what sort of leverage this will give you both in the final stage of marriage. If you own a business for example and she can throw you into a years long legal battle over the split of the shares, this can severely limit or even kill the business because associates and banks thinks it is too risky to deal with you until it is resolved. That's a nuclear threat she can leverage to divorce rape you even if she's not entitled to much in the prenup.

Don't assume your life won't change. Stuff happens - people fall out of love, move to other countries, start their own business, become partners in the firm they work in, career tracks change dramatically, accidents leave you disabled.

In the process you will need to se a lawyer and figure out what the details of your country's divorce laws are and what prenup options you have. Prenups can easily get thrown out by the courts, so get it done right.

In many countries, living together and having children also puts obligations on you, or you might not get full rights to the children, and if you choose to live together and not get married you need to know your options and maybe have a prenup-like agreement.

Consider putting a ring on her and calling her your wife but not getting legally married. The tax benefits of marriage might not be worth the sort of leverage she'll get over you.

RBuddDwyer · 2015-03-16T02:21:39+00:00

Don't do it.

[deleted] · 2015-03-16T14:48:25+00:00

So much damn good advice here. I have nothing to say except listen these guys replying.

Title	Tell us about your successful RP marriage!
Author	CaptainWasHere
Upvotes	11
Comments	33
Date	March 16, 2015 1:58 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2z6sbp/tell_us_about_your_successful_rp_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/tell-us-about-your-successful-rp-marriage.202343 https://theredarchive.com/post/202343

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