Alpha Beta balance?

strategos_autokrator · 2014-12-22T21:17:32+00:00

MMSLP has a good explanation. Women have a dual sexual strategy. They want Alpha because they have the best genes (leadership, vision, go-get-her, they have a lot of sex, which mean they have good genes), but they also want beta because they bring food to the nest and help with the kids, comfort. This is contradictory, but it is their biological imperative. To be the man they love, you must do BOTH things well. They test for both, and the tests are different and require different skills and responses.

The key is to do them from FRAME. Don't be beta out of secret contracts. Be beta out of strength, like a good father comforts their children. Be an oak, unmoved. But similarly, be Alpha from that same Frame. The analogy for this is an alpha wolf. Wolves are social animals with tight social structures. Be the leader of the pack.

In a different analogy, be the captain. A captain takes good care of his crew to the extent that it makes them work better towards the captains goals. The captain doesn't give them rum to ingratiate himself with them. Instead, he does it to celebrate that they helped him achieve his goals. Similarly, if the deck is undermanned, and someone needs to pull a line, the captain helps. Not because he wants to be popular, but because he needs it for his goal. But never the captain stops being captain when he does these things. His authority is never questioned.

cheesepythons · 2014-12-23T00:06:04+00:00

Putting aside all the acronyms and words, give and take. Be the man you want to be, be the father you want to be, be the husband you want to be. I find if you maintain frame in regards to these the rest falls in line.

AMOist · 2014-12-22T22:36:43+00:00

Strategos pretty well covers it.

Alpha/beta balance is certainly a 'thing' in the context of an LTR, and you need to be conscious of it.

It's actually not counter productive or counter intuitive. They can function harmoniously, and in fact you can use one to afford more of the other.

First, you must understand that you're operating from either an Alpha frame or a Beta frame. There is no "when" with respect to which frame you're operating in--it's ongoing. Depending on which you're in, you'll get different results when to toss out alpha or beta behaviors.

Frame is an over-arching modality which is established through individual behaviors. The behaviors can either be alpha or beta behaviors, and they will give rise to an alpha or a beta frame.

If you're in an alpha frame tossing out beta behaviors, you'll get positive results at a rate of diminishing return, ultimately culminating in a full transition to a beta frame, at which point you'll start getting negative results for tossing out beta behavior (beta-shaming. Those operating from alpha frames don't get shamed for beta behaviors. Rather, they're appreciated for them, up to a certain point, and then they're not alpha any more). At this point you need to pump the breaks on the beta behaviors and start reestablishing your alpha frame.

It is important to remember that all women want some amount of beta behaviors being dealt from an alpha frame. It is your job as the male to determine what the ideal level of beta is. My LTR, for example, is fairly beta-friendly, so I can exhibit a fair amount of beta behavior before it stops yielding positive results. I have consciously experimented with this to determine what her desired level of beta is, and I try to keep it right around there. Ideally this is congruent [enough] with your natural self, which for me, it is. Otherwise, you have some alpha-internalization to do.

Recently things have been a little cold because I've been alpha lately (working late, lifting weights a lot, hanging with guy friends), so I sent her a beta text message, and like clockwork she responds with a cute message. When we see each other, I'll be fairly beta (as I will have afforded myself to be by pushing be boundary of being uncalibrated alpha), and she'll appreciate me for it (again, up to a certain point. Still have to maintain frame).

At the end of the day, this is a two-step process:

1) Calibrate. 2) Maintain frame.

Hope that helps.

nopbeentheredonethat · 2014-12-23T15:18:26+00:00

That the way I see this concept : "Be the best father you can be"

A good father will lead and give a clear sens of direction but he will not be a tyrant. He will show his love in a caring manner. He will listen and be an active part in his wife and children life. He will not bend to every demand but he will do what need to be done when it's appropriate. Once in a while he will do something "nice" to show his appreciation when it is deserve.

That's how I try to balance my Alpha and Beta in my home life.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-12-23T17:57:53+00:00

Beta has a very bad reputation, especially in TRP. On MRP, we are not trolling for a one night stand so always being Alpha Chad McThundercock is never going to work for a long marriage. Sure it will get you laid, but eventually the wife is going to quit and find a better Beta. You must also be Beta Bob Helperrock for a marriage.

For most of us, we came here because we are Beta bitches and the wife has lost attraction so the primary focus is on upping the Alpha. At some point you need to start upping the Beta as well- especially if you were the Drunk Captain Omega letting your pissed off First Officer run the show.

How do you know to up the Beta? When she starts throwing comfort tests! Whining piteously 'do you love me' and such are signs to drop the aloof, asshole routine and reassure your wife, help out with the dishes, whatever.

That does NOT mean turning (back) into a supplicating bitch. In fact I would argue taking your wife in your arms and reassuring her is ALPHA, not Beta at all. It is pure Amused Mastery.

You may also need to up the chores around the house, help your wife with the shopping or whatever, especially if she is also working outside the house.

Importantly- Doing Beta shit does NOT turn on a woman. They say it does but, you know they lie, right? So doing a Beta chore is NOT Choreplay. NO COVERT CONTRACTS. You help around the house/buy flowers/show affection because YOU WANT TO, NOT because you think it is tied to her vagina. (Hint: It isn't).

GentleGiant350 · 2014-12-30T19:20:49+00:00

No LTR is about getting everything you want, anytime you want, whenever you want. Part of your frame as a man involved with an LTR is that you be willing to give up things that you are willing to give up in the best interest of the LTR.

For instance, I gave up having sex with other women. That was not outside of my frame, because I determined that I wanted an LTR, and that I wanted it to be exclusive. Those things were more important to me than banging other chicks.

The trick is, give up something, but get something in return. LTRs can not be one way streets. I am an outdoorsman. I go hunting and fishing minimum one weekend a month, sometimes more, leaving wife home with the kids when i go.

That's the take. That's the alpha.

The flip side is that I give her leeway to go do what she wants (if she wants to) when I'm available to take over for her.

Thats the give. That's the beta.

So that, to me, is the trick - you have to walk that fine line without allowing the give or take to become one sided. the give is beta, the take is alpha. That's how you balance it.

At first, you might keep a mental balance sheet. Later on, you'll get used to the feel for it.

But the tl:dr is that if you give her something, she should willingly give you something in return. If she needs reassurance and comfort, she should reciprocate respect and dedication. If she does not, remove reassurance and comfort until she does.

If she wants to go out with her friends, and leave you behind with the kids, then she should do that for you, willingly and without bitching about it. If she does not, then remove her ability to go out until she gets the picture.

That's how you strike the balance.

Some would argue that this is a 2/3 ratio, that you should get three things out of her for every 2 you give, so that the balance is in your favor. I guess if that works, thats fine, but I was never that scientific about it. You just gotta get yours, too, and if you aren't getting it, make it clear that you'll get it, regardless, whether it's with her or someone else.

Title	Alpha Beta balance?
Author	jerry_rigger
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	December 22, 2014 8:57 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2q3s5c/alpha_beta_balance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/alpha-beta-balance.202767 https://theredarchive.com/post/202767

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