No problem getting dates but then I usually hear “I’m not feeling things”

AloofusMaximus · 2019-01-26T23:36:06+00:00

Usually if you hear that line, it's because you blew it during the date. In most cases they won't tell you the real reason (although sometimes you can push for it) but rather say shit like what they're saying to you. Also your behavior may have something to do with it... If you say you're coming off as nervous, then you probably are.

I don't connect emotionally with people whatsoever. My personality score for empathy is literally a 0. That doesn't mean that I can't rationally understand other people's experiences, I just don't feel anything as a result. If you're socially calibrated you can understand that "wow that must have been exciting" or whatever, without you yourself having that feeling.

Generally women are looking for reasons to disqualify you, so something you said/did on the date probably caused it. This is why she should be doing damn near all of the talking on the date.

Sometimes it's hard to figure out what you're doing wrong. I'd say if nothing else you should try.... Keep your dates shorter, and keep her talking through most of it.

Gruss_p · 2019-01-27T01:32:04+00:00

“I’m not really feeling things” “I’m busy and not looking for anything right now” And other variants. Can someone translate this womanese for me?

"You are not attractive for me and I don't want to have sex with you."

Eldudearino89 · 2019-01-27T01:35:42+00:00

Look into Blackdragon. He has a lot of great first date stuff. Leads more into long term non-monogamy / plate spinning. Which to me is better than ONS.

FereallyRed · 2019-01-26T22:43:16+00:00

You're bad at dates, that means women find you unattractive. Figure out why. This huge pile of hamster shit is just, well, hamster shit.

Get to work.

rpsheepdog · 2019-01-26T20:06:38+00:00

This is hard to read... why are they cancelling on you?

_do_not_read_this_ · 2019-01-26T22:52:05+00:00

Where are you finding the women? If in clubs or online, women go there for ONS, not for serious relationships.

Startlivingfornow · 2019-01-26T23:08:57+00:00

Approach, get insta dates, and practice being fun. Look up Todd Valentine on YouTube, he helps low energy guys use good game. And his shit works. Turn your weakness into a strength

MisterMarbles1988 · 2019-01-27T01:14:42+00:00

This is going to sound PUA-ish but if you aren't already doing it, try running some "routines" during your dates. Personality tests, fake palm-reads, handwriting analysis, physical "moves" all sound corny but in practice they will help be your training wheels until you can feel things out on your own.

luccisanolean · 2019-01-26T22:52:12+00:00

don't masturbate

Title	No problem getting dates but then I usually hear “I’m not feeling things”
Author	smellyflamingo
Upvotes	4
Comments	19
Date	January 26, 2019 8:04 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ak4gev/no_problem_getting_dates_but_then_i_usually_hear/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/no-problem-getting-dates-but-then-i-usually-hear.203629 https://theredarchive.com/post/203629

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