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First post, great life makeover.

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October 2, 2018
10 upvotes

Age 30, married for almost 4 years, LTR 6 years, no kids.

Stats: H 5’9’’, W 178, BF% 20%, SQ 205, BP 165, DL 250.

Read most of the sidebar; the book that made me swallow the pill was “The Manipulated Man”, it made me angry for a couple of weeks, but eventually led me to read the rest of the sidebar, so that particular one was my life changer.

Testosterone levels check pending, though no symptoms, and I get night and morning boners every single day, been building good muscle and sex almost 4 times a week.

Sexual Initiations / Rejections (for the past month): 16/16 - Same kpi before the last 2 months: 10/2

Women besides wife I could call right now: 2

I’m finally taking the time to write this post, to acknowledge how TRP has changed my life drastically. Basically all you need to know is that I grew up in a matriarchy where my dad was just a money supplier and I was basically raised by my mother. This led me to being the perfect Nice Guy, that dude that chicks would text all day but would never go out with, in fact I had only one girlfriend for 4 years whom I never had sex with, and actually dumped me for “being too mature”, which can be translated as being a “beta fuck”. After that girlfriend, I went out with another girl with whom I actually had sex with, and eventually got married at 26.

4 years later, I got pretty fat, and was operating as a textbook drunk captain so the past two years sex basically dried out, I stopped playing guitar, and stopped hanging out with my friends; I bitched about my job everyday with my wife and became stuck in videogames, so I do not blame her.

A couple of months ago, I came across a video on youtube about “monk mode”, and I figured I could apply that to my physique, so I joined a gym with my friends. As research continued, I eventually came across Rollo Tomassi and TRP. I read the side bar and started building back my own frame and discovering my life-long sleeping masculinity. I lost 26 pounds and went from 40% bf to 19% in 3 months, I’m currently doing powerlifting 3 times a week and calisthenics 2 times a/w, my body has completely changed and my wife has noticed. I stopped bitching about my job, and I started handling things at home, even the most basic things such as paying the bills myself instead of leaving that to my wife (despite that I’m the only source of income for my house). Went to fix my teeth, bought new clothes, did some maintenance around the house, fixed the cars, started going out with the dudes again at least twice a week, stopped giving the wife flowers every time I wanted to initiate, stopped being all cheesy and saying “I love you” every day all the time, and I lead outings instead of asking her where does she want to go. In other words, I started owning my shit. Since then, I get to choose when to have and not have sex; she will even wait for me awake when I go out with my friends to have sex as soon as I cross the door. There hasn’t been a time in the past 2 months that initiation wouldn’t lead to great sex.

Three weeks ago I went out of town for business, I bought a cheap phone, and went out to a bar, approached a HB9 and couldn’t believe it actually happened but we danced and talked a lot. I told her that I was looking for something casual and discrete as I was in a LTR. This totally turned her on and we went to a hotel room and we had awesome sex, almost porn-like. I travel every week to that town due to my job, and I’ve seen her ever since; she doesn’t know my real name, and I told her I live in a different town from where I actually live, I do know her real name and she gave me her Ig, she basically likes this scheme as she is busy all week long. She basically worships me when I’m with her, and we’ve become fuck buddies, which has been a big confidence boost.

So after all this, comes the anger not at my wife, but at myself. I know I got myself into marriage and nobody put a gun to my head, but I’ve lately been thinking a lot about if I would’ve swallowed the pill 6 years earlier, chances are I wouldn’t be married. I enjoy my wife’s company and she is respectful, but I can’t suppress the feeling that I wasted my 20’s and only been laid with 2 different women in my entire life; so controlling those feelings and frustration has been my focus lately.

Thank you for taking the time to read, any feedback, comments or suggestions on how to manage these feelings will be most welcome.


Post Information
Title First post, great life makeover.
Author Nuwanda206
Upvotes 10
Comments 16
Date 02 October 2018 12:07 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203953
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9klt5f/first_post_great_life_makeover/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
Rollobetatestosteroneframelong term relationshipthe red pill
Comments

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

how to manage these feelings will be most welcome

There is nothing to manage man. Your doing what you want already. You look like you have the behaviour you wanted out of your wife but you still want more.

Own it and do it.

Congrats.

You also could have knocked some chick up in your 20s, or got an std, or false rape charge. You can play that fucking game all day. If you like the man that you are, you have to accept the fact that you had to be that faggot to be this faggot.

[–]Nuwanda206[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well yeah, can’t argue with that. My past is clearly what brought me to this point. Thanks a lot!

[–]hystericalbonding3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're a less wordy version of /u/2gunsgetsome. Read his early posts. He's happily divorced now.

The right n-count when you don't care about your n-count anymore.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The right n-count when you don't care about your n-count anymore.

So good.

[–]Nuwanda206[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ll look into that, thanks!

[–]innominating2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have a very similar upbringing. I had an n-count of 11 when I married, but most of that was the 10 months after an LTR, before I met my wife. I only “gamed” that 10 months without red pill knowledge. I often feel the same as you. Trapped.

I have kids and want to raise them in a 2 parent home. I’m committing to staying married, at least trying to stay committed. But, being game aware and high SMV, pussy finds me a lot. Often, I fuck it.

It sucks sitting on the fence. If you want to stay married, we’ll be fighting the same battle.

[–]Nuwanda206[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well an n-count of 11 is better than 2. That's exactly where I am at now, except for the kids, I do not have kids and don't want them for the time being. The problem is that all this is new to me, even my friends have noticed, when we go out I get approached by women they wouldn't even dream of even talking to them, but I am stuck because I live in a small town so I can't really do anything about these approaches but tell them I'm married and go back to the dudes. So being game aware and high SMV, sucks when you can't do much about it most of the time.

The only time I'm able to actually take action is when I'm out of town, the first time I felt guilty for about 1 minute right after I had sex with the HB9, the guilt melt away when I remembered about "the manipulated man" book.

So yeah, trying to stay committed but not being able to give a fuck about your n-count sucks. Right now I am more inclined to staying married, so it seems that we're in this together.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Age 30, married for almost 4 years, LTR 6 years, no kids

Be happy you have the choice. Forget your 20's you did what you did. You found RP at the right time.

The hard bit will be making the choice.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

100% this - no kids and only 30 years old. If he puts in the work, he will probably find that he will fuck more 20 somethings now than he would have in his 20s.

The big question is what does HE want from his life.

[–]Nuwanda206[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Totally agree. I'm trying to figure what I want, now that I am game aware.

The problem is, I enjoy my wife's company and we have a good relationship, the sex is great and she respects me (now that I've owned my shit), so I'd like that to continue.

But curiosity about how it is with other women, and even about how far my potential goes is haunting me. (Thats why I feel I wasted my 20's, maybe if I would've done all of this being game aware, I wouldn't feel this curiosity and wanting more, and being able to settle down easily.

In the end, it doesn't matter, Ill have to make a choice and stop feeling sorry for my 20's.

Thanks for the insight.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Any married person drifts through phases where the " outside options " look better than the wife.

It comes and goes

[–]Nuwanda206[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, the fact that I have a choice now makes it really hard. Before RP, I simply didn't have a choice cuz of oneitis. Sometimes the thoughts Cypher had about the matrix and the "ignorance is bliss" thing comes to my mind. But then I see that my life has improved not only sex-wise, but in almost every aspect, and I wouldn't want to go back. Thats kind of the "swing" of thoughts I'm stuck in right now.

[–]r_u_a_badfish21 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

OP, if you feel this way, for the love of god do not have a kid. Your wife may start feeling some dread even if she doesn’t know what’s going on. And she may pressure you to get her pregnant to further “lock you down.”

[–]Nuwanda206[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, she has reacted to my makeover in a predictable and perfect way. So I am expecting this talk anytime soon. Using condoms for 1 year now, as we agreed not to have kids or even talk about them until I finish my master's degree, till 1.5 years to go.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have known a few guys find satisfaction spinning plates with a wife but never just randomly Tindering away while they have a wife. I don't know why. I would speculate that a side piece that the wife grudgingly accepts is different to women than a Tinder manwhore??

Nice report with good details of the changes you have made. It is not a bad start at all!

can’t suppress the feeling that I wasted my 20’s

Time heals all my friend. This feeling is the final stage of Red Pill unplugging that occurs right before ACCEPTANCE.

If you spend your time thinking about all the missed opportunities you won't have time to take a breath and that is so important to do! Relax. Breathe. They are called the "Meditations" of Marcus Aurelius for a reason. Read it. Then breathe and meditate on them. This feeling will pass and you will find acceptance. Maybe not happiness or enlightenment- but acceptance.

[–]Nuwanda206[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey!, thanks a lot for commenting.

Yes, I am not only reading, but studying "Meditations". " Remember how long thou hast been putting off these things, and how often thou hast received an opportunity from the gods, and yet dost not use it. "

What I have come to realize in the last couple of days is that, it is all about the present, and at that moment I felt frustrated about that thought. Right now, I don't only feel I have control, I KNOW I have control over myself and my life; and with this great power comes great responsibility. So at least for now, I don't feel like I need a high n-count, I'll just keep focusing on myself and on much more important things, in the end, it is just sex...



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