5 Month Progress Update

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July 24, 2018

Essentials: 5'8" 155lbs 9% BF (bodpod assessment) Lifts for 5 reps - BP 170, OHP 120, ROW 140, SQ 280, DL 290 - Currently bulking because short guys need mass for presence and I look small as fuck in clothes (thanks Stone) - goal is 175lbs @ 9% which will probably be next year.

My main focus right now is on DL1, DL4 & DL6 - I was guilty of being a dancing monkey and still have concerns that I am but I am working through it and at least keeping an eye out for the symptoms. The easiest parts for me have been physical / hobbies / style so I focused there but the hard parts are really where I have seen the biggest ROI - passing shit tests, building my frame and learning about game. I was a career beta who's wife happen to catch him during an alpha IDGAF phase in college so I have a shit ton of work to do mentally.

I've been mostly focusing on AM / C&F at home to diffuse the litany of shit tests I've been getting which had been steadily ramping up. Admittedly I probably had been going a little rambo but the princess has a history of being too comfortable in our relationship. I have been pushing the envelope to show that I am man who likes sex, wants sex and will get sex as I am mostly on a drip fed diet of sex 1-2 times a month during ovulation. She actively was rejecting my kino and giving a lot of resistance to things like ass grabbing, pinning her against the counter, hard dominant kissing, pulling her into me hard, etc. Admittedly there was no build up and it was clumsy on my part which I need to address since I've learned I have zero game.

Well I could tell that things were building to a head as tension was rising in the house, she hated that I laughed at her or joked when she would get pissy. I had been doing some CF and AA when she would reject the kino which would get her more in a huff. Things came to a head when one night in bed I got rejected (yes fuck I know initiating at bed = bad, working on it) and she was blabbing on about my behavior in bed and always initiating. I just responded that if she didn't like being in my bed she could go sleep somewhere else and that I was getting bored and she needed to up her girl game. This set off a nuclear event that went on for 3 days. She stopped wearing her wedding rings (she has done this before when we were going to get divorced) and was just a cold harpy.

During that time, she came back to the bed and tried to kick me out of my own bed to which I just laughed and laid down and went to sleep. The next day she lost it again and unloaded a litany of offenses on me for my behavior from the start of MRP. I mostly STFU, fogged and pressure flipped as best I could - I did decide to judge myself on her offenses which I have included as well (second read through of WISNIFG was very helpful for me):

  • You are a conceited asshole (because I am standing up for myself now and not letting her walk all over me sure sounds right)
  • You are selfish (because I want to have fulfilling hobbies and a social life outside of her - I am only out of the house 1-2 nights week because of it and yet still own almost all the shit in the house)
  • You care so much about your looks (of course I do who wants to be ugly)
  • You spend too much time at the gym (most of my gym time is outside of family time and even if it wasn't its important to be healthy so I don't die early or get sick)
  • You laugh at me and don't take me seriously (don't say stupid shit that you know you are just trying to get a rise out of me - some of this is probably just me understanding how the game works and her having no clue)
  • You think I am lucky to have you (I think most women would probably want a man who steps up, takes care of himself and looks good)
  • You say I should be more concerned when you don't touch me (yep relationships tend not to work well when there's no sex, flirting or affection)
  • You are making decisions about finances even though I disagreed (we discussed, I listened but decided my plan was sound)
  • I don't want to be with someone like you (guess we will see on this one)

I reset every morning over the couple of days that she is on another planet and didn't let her mood get to me. This was all leading up to a weekend where I was going away for a bachelor party for 4 days which I suspected maybe had something to do with it but I'll never know. I figured she would fuck my brains out before I left given the situation but instead she instigated a huge fight.

I was planning on spending time with her before I left and at one point I pushed her up against the counter and kissed her neck and she turned around and looked like she wanted to hit me and instead she ran away locked herself in the bathroom. She came out and made plans to go out - I definitely slipped a little beta and said that sucks I was hoping to spend time with you but I never begged her not to go. I told her go have fun and she could come home for some more fun later. She said maybe she would find somewhere else to sleep so I told her we were done if she didn't come home. As she was leaving she called me an asshole and I told her I am the gentleman asshole and held the door open for her. She did come home I initiated and got a No though it felt like maybe I could have pushed through. I reset in the morning said goodbye and gave a kiss and left.

I took some time on the bachelor party to act like I was single and completely ignored her other than trying to talk to my kids. For the first two days, she didn't even really want to talk to me and then the 3rd day she started getting sweet and chatty - I mostly ignored it because I was busy having fun. On the fourth day when I was headed home she was super interested in when my flight came in but it was delayed. I get home and she is in sexy pajamas - I thought about initiating but was exhausted so I passed out.

Fast forward to the next night - I am at BJJ and text her to see if she will grill up some food for me so I can eat when I get home. I've found it interesting that shes been very submissive to doing stuff for me other than sex during this whole process - sex has always been the sticking point. I come home she is cooking them and I give her some praise. We do some logistics stuff after the kids go to bed and then head up. I can tell she wants to fuck so I initiate - she stops me and asks why she should kiss me, I said because you want to she got angry and was like you could have said something nice and then I just grabbed her and kissed her hard. I had in my notes that sex was for me and I have been wanting to try new things (I was a beta always trying to please her which makes sex awful) so I get her worked up and then go turn on the lights (she never likes the lights on) and she said just dim them a little - cool I can work with that. We go at it and I was like fuck I'll just put my cock in her face and tell her to suck it - she does this maybe once a year when shes drunk and afterwards she has told me she felt like I took advantage of her. I'll be damned if she doesn't just start going at it and actually enjoying it. I got her to talk dirty and then dominated her a little bit and all in all was probably the best sex we have had in a long time. I gave her some praise and told her she got an A+ as a wife for the day which got me a sideways look but she seemed amused by it.

I decided this morning to address her wedding ring issue even though a few folks told me in the past to just let it go but at some point I need to be assertive and set expectations for what I expect in my relationship. I find it very disrespectful that she doesn't wear them when she gets angry at me. Its an immature, childish thing to do but I'm realizing that she doesn't have many other levers to push at this point so I can see why she does it. Its possible I should have just dropped it and by talking to her about it she will just keep doing it to piss me off but I had the conversation with her told her my expectations and will move on - I gave just a single fuck about it and that's all I got. One other thing I realized is I don't wear mine but its mostly because of lifting and BJJ and there's like an hour a day where I could actually wear it - I'm surprised she didn't call me on it.

During this conversation, she reiterated a lot of my offenses about how I was disrespectful by laughing at her, etc. but the tone was slightly less confrontational, accusatory and more calm than last week. She also was talking about us being partners and how for 15 years she ran things and always consulted me (this literally made me want to puke) and now I am just doing things without considering her. She doesn't want to be in a relationship like that. She also let out that she feels like now that I am a sexy hot man who handles everything that I think she should just go with it and feel lucky. I addressed most of this stuff with a little AA, fogging, negative inquiry and some STFU.

I can't tell if it was a shitty comfort test, her overtly addressing the power struggle or her trying to communicate I'm not doing a good job explaining my vision and where her part is in it. I have never gotten a comfort test so not even sure I could identify one.

I did let her know that I was no longer going to be a passive participant in my own life, that things are changing and that I do value her opinion and will consult her on major decisions to get her feedback. I honestly don't want to be a dictator and she has good ideas so it adds value to discuss some things with her but at the end of the day I will live my life how I see fit and she can join if she wants. I'm leaning towards this being that I need to be more clear on my vision and that I want her as my FO - not sure how to do this without using the metaphor but I'll figure it out.

I also have a whole bunch of other shit I learned from being "single" away in another city for 4 days, but that will be a post for another time I guess - everyone should do this with their buddies at least once because it will expose a number of weaknesses in your MAP.

That was a lot to unpack and I mostly posted so I have a record of my progress and in case it helps anyone else, but if anyone has feedback I'm open to it.

Post Information
Title 5 Month Progress Update
Author hack3ge
Upvotes 9
Comments 47
Date 24 July 2018 03:39 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204171
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/91igzk/5_month_progress_update/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
MAPWISNIFGalphabetaframekinoshit testcomfort testdominanceliftassertivegame

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're making this a lot harder than it needs to be, Rambo.

She also was talking about us being partners and how for 15 years she ran things and always consulted me (this literally made me want to puke) and now I am just doing things without considering her.

People make sense of their lives and accept changes in those lives, or decide to change their lives, through narratives (or stories) they adopt from society or others, or that they tell themselves, that organize, explain, and justify their lives and actions. Your life-changing actions in transforming from beta to alpha, for example, are all based on the MRP narrative and its underlying vision, which you have discovered here and adopted as your own. With the MRP subreddits, you have a ready source and community providing appealing narratives you can adopt and adapt to make sense of the events in your life and to give you direction to improve it.

Your wife, however, lacks a narrative either to make sense of your very changed behavior, to decide how to respond, or to justify her acceptance of them. Her inconsistent responses to your new behaviors and her incoherent "litany of offenses" reflect her lack of an organizing narrative explaining the changes in her husband and marriage, and providing her own story-arc to guide her response. You need to craft an appealing narrative and vision just for her and "sell" it to her.

This is how the most effective leaders inspire and guide their people. You can, of course, leave it entirely to her to make her own way (or not) through the "hamster maze", but some cleverly crafted narrative guidance by you could make the process a lot quicker and less painful for both of you, and increase the odds that she exits the maze in the place you want her to.

[–]Reach180Red Beret3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

You're trying too hard to maximize dread, looking for short term gains. You built up this Bachelor Party weekend in your mind as a way to get something from your wife. It never works that way. You're still Dancing Monkey, just flipped sideways.

You do what you want about the ring thing, but it's pretty meaningless. It's putting the cart before the horse. "I want this symbolic gesture of commitment in place because I don't have actual control". She knows you don't have control, so stating it as a hard boundary is declaring your own powerlessness. See Rollo's writing about ultimatums.

You can leave, sure....but you don't seem to be at the point where that threat has any teeth. There's too much power struggle - the two of you both appear to be playing the "I'm gonna leave" card. Seems to me this is more about "I don't like her fucking with me", so you're going to try and force her to stop rather than DGAFing and letting her decide to stop.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Seems to me this is more about "I don't like her fucking with me"

I think you hit the nail on the head on this one - its not the rings so much as her need to fuck with me that I am trying to control.

Based on the feedback, I won't bring it up again with her - I was already on the fence before I brought it up but I think my hamster got the better of me.

[–]gameoflibidos0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Bro.. they never stop fucking with you. Ever. They fuck with you to test you, it actually gets worse cause they try harder when you get better at it. Eventually though it doesn't bother you any more at all, which will temporarily enrage her. But she'll never stop even when she knows it won't get anywhere.

I got a lot of the same attacks you did... been at this a long time now...

Now.. she actually helps... She suggested we try Keto to help me with my weight goals (which at this point is getting abs to show... used to be 250lbs of flab)

We both have stitch fix subscriptions and help each other with what to send back

She wants me to make the decisions.. she doesn't question the decisions other than providing input.. she actually gets pissed if I don't just go ahead and decide and actually ask her what she thinks

She wants me to be an asshole in poor situations... say like someone cutting in line or doing some rude shit to us or something

.... She still tests me though... She knows which red buttons to push to try hard.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I know it becomes flirting and a way for them to say they want to get fucked which will literally blow my mind when I see it.

Shes at the point where she no longer thinks its cute that I am stepping up and doing things but rather thinks who is this asshole that is taking over everything and thinking he can run this ship better than me so I've been getting shit tests constantly and shes getting pissed about the fact I think its funny and cute that she does it.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I know I heard that the tests just change and morph and eventually you just get so good that you don't even notice them. I'm getting to the point where I recognize them all now at least and usually now can't avoid chuckling at her which triggers her occasionally but whatever she can deal with her feelz. If I don't have a good response and I STFU it tends to be a neutral interaction and she will test again shortly thereafter.

I have noticed that she almost seems to be halfheartedly testing me lately - like almost throwing me layups and then getting more affectionate when I pass them. I am sure shes in a little attraction bubble after she went nuclear on me last week and told me she wants to be happy with me and enjoy life. She also normally has 2 days a month where shes fucking nasty and will sit in our room and just sulk / be generally a bitch - we just passed those days and she was very sweet and engaged. I always thought it was hormones but apparently it was just me and now she doesn't see value in acting like that or I'm managing it better.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here’s the plan. Slow the fuck down, lift, sidebar, and STFU.

Way too much talking, which puts you in her frame and shows your weakness.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is pretty Rambo.

I honestly don't want to be a dictator and she has good ideas so it adds value to discuss some things with her but at the end of the day I will live my life how I see fit and she can join if she wants.

Balance that out with not being a dictator and you'll figure it out.

You want to be passionate about having her there, but indifferent if she chooses not to come.

You need to be more compelling about her wanting to come instead of working to push her away.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is an interesting dynamic - its like showing your desire without neediness. Apparently that is what it means to not be unattractive.

My issue has been some anger plus not wanting to be a pushover bitch anymore which led to overdoing it and some Rambo apparently.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good update. When she asserts that you are neglecting your family, because you are doing things for yourself, you have to flip that. "What did not get done (or what did I miss/neglect) because I was at [insert hobby]?" Or, "why is it wrong for me to do [insert activity]?"

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep I did pressure flip it on her and she just stood there blank faced with no response. At that point she moved onto the next item and I knew it worked.

Normally the old me would have argued and said it’s only 3 hours a week blah blah but now I know it’s just her expressing her feelz and if I engage in an argument I lose regardless.

[–]TurdDoctor1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good progress overall but you need a stronger frame. Too many words I didn't read them all.

I did let her know that I was no longer going to be a passive participant in my own life

Don't say this, live it. She will see the way you live and understand in time. She may not accept it but who cares.

You are way in her frame if you are bothered by the ring coming off. Next time make a joke out if it and tell her it's a fake diamond anyway, should you get her a real one someday? Don't let it upset you and you take away her power in the situation.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks - I almost made a joke about her not wearing her mood rings when I brought it up so I’ll go with that since it feels more authentic to me.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I definitely still need some work on my frame - my OI / IDGAF is definitely solidifying but I need to take on the hard part of MRP which is to challenge her instead of walking on eggshells or placating her and living in my frame regardless of anyone's reaction / criticism of me.

This morning I got a comment about how I couldn't even go 24 hours being nice and it seems you can't change. She is openly admitting that shes trying to change my behavior back to beta which I actually had a good chuckle at. I slapped her ass, smirked and walked away.

I after some reflection I realized that I had been meaning to post for a while on my update but the fact that I waited until I had a small success says a lot about the lack of progress on my part. I wasn't looking for an attaboy but clearly I didn't feel confident that I was actually making progress on my MAP until I had some success with her. This is something I need to unpack as clearly its a weakness.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

You talk a lot.

You had one really good romp. Good. This shows how good it can be. She was also a bitch a lot. Good. Now you know how bad it can be. Set the bar in your mind of where on that spectrum you want your life...then move forward in expectation that your life will be that. Anything that doesn't rise to that level is replaced by things that do.

And forget the wedding rings. There's no reason you need to mark her. There's no reason she's "supposed" to value them. They're just pieces of metal and rock. Big whoopdie doo.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You may be right I may talk a lot. On a serious note - good feedback that I should use actions not words to convey messages same as message from Mr. Thundercock.

Last time I had success /u/Rian_Stone told me to not lose it over a whiff - I did and beta backslid hard but lesson learned won't be happening this time. Sex was good but I didn't get the same feeling of validation I did last time - I assume that's a good thing. I'm actually more focused on my life and mission and filling the gaps in my MAP so I am a well rounded man.

On the rings - I don't actually feel the need to mark her. She could cheat on me with them on - probably has if I am being honest with myself. I actually hate the idea of marriage now and if I had my choice I'd get a divorce and keep her as an LTR but I don't have the frame for that conversation yet maybe some day I'll get there. I judge her trust / loyalty based on her actions and the value she brings to my life and would expect the same from her. If I add value to her life then she will choose to be loyal based on my actions not a piece of metal as you say. My issue was that I felt disrespected but its possible I am lying to myself as well.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

If I add value to her life then she will choose to be loyal based on my actions not a piece of metal as you say

Again, she's not a man, and does not think like one. Sometimes, it's as automatic as looking in the fridge when you're bored, not hungry.

There's no guarantees of action, only of response

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sometimes, it's as automatic as looking in the fridge when you're bored, not hungry.

Fuck that just blew my mind...

Makes me feel bad about giving you a hard time about your weight - nope never mind doesn't.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, I didn't know that you had.

I'm not as built/lean as /u/fuckmrp or /u/gargantuanblarg but I Hold my own.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What does it say about your frame if you feel disrespected by someone wearing or not wearing metal on a finger. Guy to guy...symbols are respected and honored. Women don't care about honor. They care about status. They were happy to wear the ring when they could show all their friends and it brought them status. If by some roundabout way in the future her wearing that ring brings about status because she's married to you (IE shes married to a high quality guy) she may wear it again.

Bottom line is: Even if she wore it, it doesn't mean to her what it means to you. So you're drawing your validation on a belief she doesn't have.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

and now I am just doing things without considering her.

This is likely a shitty comfort test, FYI.

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

5' 8" @ 9% as I'm 5' 7" @ 20% I really want to see this... You a skeleton?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

5'9 @ 188lbs. I'm somewhere over 10% and def under 15...

I imagine he must run around the shower to get wet.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Def under 15....

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

no shit. you don't weigh enough to be fat

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My fault forgot the /s damn internet I am not very good at this thing...

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep like fucking Skeletor - I get cast in the part of the corpse regularly.

Your weight at sub 10% BF is significantly lower than you expect. Most people underestimate their BF by 5%.

Edit: Not even sure why I humored you with a legitimate response - just put the twinkie down if you are 20% BF.

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My wife threw her wedding ring across the room night before Mother's Day this year. There was a sting as to what the rings mean to me..but has pointed out by other comments..rings don't mean the same to her. For her, it's just a tool she can use to inflict emotional pain within the relationship. Or, if things are great, it is a tool to show she's married to a high value man. I just picked the ring up off the floor the next morning and put it in her jewelry box. Never said anything about it.

Either way ... it's just a ring. Go live your life. Ring or no.

I noticed my wife's been wearing the ring the past couple of weeks. I never brought it up. And it doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Might be a gauge of sorts for her feelings about me or the relationship. Honestly I think it's more of a gauge about how she wants to be perceived by religious community. It's definitely not a determining factor in my actions.

DL: Don't bring up the ring again. Disrepecters gonna disrespect.

[–]Praxis0000 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

I hate it when they say you spend to much time in the mirror and the gym. You could be in there for 2 minutes look at yourself and if she sees you its like you've been in there all day. There minds are so fucked and emotional. Please tell me I dont have the only woman that does this.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Nope you aren’t the only one. I spend 45 minutes in the gym, 3 days a week and get ready including shower in 10 mins.

You would think based on what she says that I live at the gym and just stare at myself in the mirror for hours.

[–]Praxis0000 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Im 4 days a week 45 minutes long but 2 are first thing in the morning on the weekends. They almost treat it as we are drooling on the couch. I really hate it and hate admitting to myself but MGTOW or whatever you want to call it is appealing. Just to not have to deal with there stupid minds.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

That what she or other women think or say about you matters to you shows that you largely operate in their frames, not your own, and that you still seek validation from women.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Personally doesn’t matter to me - I find it amusing. It’s the same as when she says she doesn’t like muscles but when we fuck she is clawing at my arms and abs.

I could never go MGTOW I like women too much plus it’s actually way more fun now that I’m starting to understand them.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This wasn't a comment on your post, but it's interesting that you responded as if it were.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I thought you responded to me - I fail at reddit apparently

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hate it when they say you spend to much time in the mirror and the gym.

Shit test failed.

You could be in there for 2 minutes look at yourself and if she sees you its like you've been in there all day.

Don't let her behind the curtain. Don't break the 4th wall. Don't tell her about TRP. Don't allow her to see you flexing those abs.

And if you do and she sees you, fucking own it, agree and amplify style. Set your picture naked as the wallpaper of your phone. Tuck your dick would-you-fuck-me-silence-of-the-lambs-style. Possibilities are endless.

There minds are so fucked and emotional.

The only emotions I see in this post is your own anger.

Please tell me I dont have the only woman that does this.

Validation seeking.

[–]wkndatbernardus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would grab those rings and sell them on Craigslist. If that B doesn't want to wear them, turn them into ca$h and watch her hypocrisy get activated when she cries and moans about how you don't care about the outward symbol of your relationship. If she wants some rings, she can pony up the dough and get herself some. If you're doing this RP thing right, that's exactly what she'll do.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

“I'm not doing a good job explaining my vision”

Lead by example, don’t explain shit. Don’t think it was a comfort test, she feelz the dynamics changing and doesn’t like it. She’s trying to maintain her power position and keep you in the beta position.

I’d focused on keeping to increase your SMV and passing shit tests. Learn Game. Own your shit around the house while being cocky/funny.

When you say “rejecting your kino” what do you mean? Remember that kino is for you, it’s fun to feel up your wife , you’re not doing it for her or looking for a reaction. Kino all the time. She needs to understand that there is a man in the house who wants to fuck. Also needs to not see you anymore as a beta partner... who would she cheat on you with? Become that guy.

Keep at it.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Thanks I sort of assumed it wasn’t a comfort test because it was all about my behavior but I’m also keenly aware that blowing up comfort tests has major consequences. You are most likely right that she is looking to maintain some semblance of control.

She has said things like don’t touch me which I ran some AA on - oh right wouldn’t want you to get turned on, ewww you are right I don’t want your cooties, a smirk and another ass slap and walk away, the one that always got her huffy is the you should be worried when I don’t want to touch you. She has on occasion pushed me away. I was super codependent and needy so she has a perception I believe that this is why I do it. Personally I just like the way her ass feels and love rubbing my cock on her when I pin her on the counter.

I’m working on becoming the guy she would cheat on me with - my game sucks admittedly so I am now watching some RSD videos and other game related stuff.

This was one thing that was exposed while I was away at the bachelor party - I could get a girls attention easily and she would even come over to me - this happened maybe 20 times in 4 days but I would flounder pretty hard gaming her.

My house is in order as well - I run a tight ship and everyone pitches in. I taught my kids to do the dishes and fold/put away their laundry. My biggest issue was delegating to her so I have been working on that and she’s super submissive to anything I ask her to do.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Two things:

  1. Make sure to still give comfort if she’s being sweet to you - pick up Starbucks on way home from work for her, little things etc. - but only in golden ratio.

  2. “would flounder pretty hard gaming her” Don’t over think it. Wouldnt focus on her reaction to you. Law of state transference: you provide the energy and she’ll mirror it- not you getting a hit off of her reaction to you. The opener is usually the hardest for newbies. Look up Amused Mystery and practice it. It’s not taking her too seriously, flirting, looking at the world in a big picture kind of way and laughing, observing all the craziness out there and enjoying it in your frame. She’s gets sucked into your frame. Also, look up “conversational ninja” video by Tom Terero in YouTube.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks for the reference to Tom Terero I've been watching his stuff now - this along with the day bang by Roosh really resonated with me. I'm starting to see how some of this works and how there's a natural flow and build up to interactions that if you look for you can manage. Once you know the cues to be able to transition to the next step of the conversation it seems like things get easier. I am going to get some practice with this and see how it goesas I was falling down in the transition at the hook point. I am able to get them to come to me pretty easily or give me an IOI so I can approach more confidently but would try to go right to the invest stage instead of waiting for the hook of her asking about me.

I also started looking at the mystery method too for gaming my wife and working her up to fucking. Yesterday I had a good simmer going starting with fucking around with her in the shower in the morning before work and carried it through when she got home. I also had been starting the 10 second kiss and we hadn't hit that melting point until yesterday and then we hit it and it turned into us making out while hiding from our guests that were over for a bbq. I think I shot myself in the foot after that with too much pull as the night went on and being to overt about sex instead of gaming her. I was trying to fuck her outside on our patio which was new but might have been outside my skill set now so I burned my chance. Lesson learned but it was fun to see some of this stuff in practice.

Let me know if you have anything else that you think would be helpful.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

“I shot myself in the foot after that with too much pull as the night went on and being to overt about sex instead of gaming her.”

Is this your wife? You’ll get to the point where sex is the default and don’t have to Game that hard.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes this is my wife. She seemed like she wanted to have sex all night and then we went up to bed and I got LMR and then a hard no which actually surprised me.

I'm wondering if I should have initiated sooner in the evening and just led her to our bedroom since she didn't want to fuck on the patio.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just Carry led her to our bedroom

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

rubbing my cock on her when I pin her on the counter.

This isn't kino. Go read about kino and its gradual escalation.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep, I bet he is coming off creepy as fuck. Nothing worse than an unattractive beta rubbing his cock on her.

Maybe explains her knee jerk reaction of immediately pulling away.

[–]hack3geRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The truth - I've been recalibrating

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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