659,329 posts

What worked for me

by ParadoxThatDrivesUs | February 26, 2018 | askMRP

33 upvotes

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Nutrition. Fucking nutrition.

If you check my post history you'll see I've been at this for more than two years. I lifted, I read, I MAP'ed, I mastered the material, and I applied it in my life and marriage. And it worked - I found self-respect, and earned the respect of the people around me. It completely changed the trajectory of my life and transformed me into a different person. I sometimes shudder to think where I might be if random luck hadn't led me to this site.

And yet, for all that personal success, the original problem that brought me here - sex with my wife - didn't change all that much. Some improvement, and a change in my own perspective that took away the mental pain, but no true transformation. In my own mind, I guess I just figured that I had taken it as far as it would go.

A few months ago, for reasons completely unrelated to MRP, I stopped eating out and started eating a clean, high-protein diet. Each meal is 8 ounces of chicken (or some other meat), 100 grams of rice (or some other carb), and a bunch of broccoli (or some other vegetable). I prep the meals for the week on Sunday and weigh them into plastic trays - the whole nine yards. I wasn't expecting any big changes because I believed that I was already eating a healthy diet. The meal prepping was mostly a financial thing.

Big there were big changes. I've never been overweight, but - I now realize - I've never really been lean. After a few weeks, my body fat dropped and the muscles I had been developing popped into view like they never had before. I discovered that the phrase "hard body" isn't just an expression. I solidified. All of the lifting started to finally get traction.

And now the wife initiates sex, something she's never done before. She drops hints during the day. She finds reasons to grab me. She defers to me, tries to keep me happy. This from a woman who I would have sworn was not capable of enjoying sex. Or life.

So, yeah, nutrition. So fucking stupid, so obvious. It wasn't just nutrition that did it, of course. If there are a dozen things you have to get in line to make it all work, I put in the time and effort to get them all together - except that I somehow blinded myself that I wasn't eating properly. Once that finally clicked into place, it's like the lock just tumbled open without even trying.

So learn from my mistake. Everyone wants to skip ahead and obsess over shit tests and comfort tests and main events and all the rest. But it's obvious to me now that stuff is secondary.

The very first lesson I learned here was that if your wife doesn't want to have sex with you, the reason is because she doesn't want to have sex with you. But the opposite is also true. When she wants to have sex with you, she will.

So if you're not getting the results you're hoping for, go back to very first principles. Track what you eat. Don't guess or assume. Track it and lock it down.


Post Information
Title What worked for me
Author ParadoxThatDrivesUs
Upvotes 33
Comments 20
Date 26 February 2018 04:45 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204772
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/80adtt/what_worked_for_me/
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Comments

[–]BobbyPeru15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fat noobs, take note here. You can work out 6 days a week, but until you clean up your diet, you won’t get great results.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You cannot out-exercise a bad diet.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Very much so. I am/was bulking this winter. CALORIE SURPLUS!!!

Now that I am trying to cut? It's hard to go back, I won't lie. There have been a series of failed starts.

Weight is going down but not like it should nor how I'd like it to. Still have that powerlifter gorilla frame.

[–]markpf730 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

What would you say your body fat was before and after?

I've been kicking the tires on a post on this point of inflection...

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I know what it was/is. My trainer measures it every month. During bulking twice a month.

Before bulking, which I started in October, it was 12% It's now at 20% down from 22%.

My basic lifts Squat 385 DL 350 Bench 285* OHP 190* Row 245

These are current lifts at 5 reps.

I have been recovering from a strained rotator cuff. Pushing motions hurt like hell. So my bench and OHP are pretty weak from where they should be and all my lifts are down from where I ended this summer.

I was a powerlifter when I was younger. RP got me back into it. gaining size and muscle mass is easy for me.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You put on 20-25 lbs of fat since October?

Haaaollly fuck.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

yup.

I didn't use a trainer at the start. You know you read a bunch of shit. Think you know it all.

live and learn.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Better than fucking around with body weight exercises for a year. I cut down to 12% or less for summer and had significant results in IOI, but I would be further ahead now if I had been power lifting for a year and four months instead of just 4 months.

[–]Reach180Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

So learn from my mistake. Everyone wants to skip ahead and obsess over shit tests and comfort tests and main events and all the rest. But it's obvious to me now that stuff is secondary.

I've said this before - there are gyms full of no pussy getting beta bodybuilders out there. If you start thinking RP is just about eating and lifting, and then just a bunch of other secondary shit, you're going to be in for a wake-up.

Your wife will soon adjust her expectations to your new body. She'll tack on an extra 2 SMV points to herself by virtue of her having locked down a ripped stud. Now what?

That stuff you call secondary is something you have to have figured out by the time the novelty of abs wears off. If you haven't internalized that "secondary" stuff, you're going to be back here wondering how your wife who used to be so hot for you won't fuck anymore.

Nutrition and lifting are important, but they are also easy. Don't focus too hard on the easy shit. Make the easy shit automatic, get to work on the hard part.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey PTDU, at what point in the BF scale would you say the belly dissappeared?

I am getting BF down, looking sharp, but still packing a small belly - to the point where it looks a bit weird as i am pretty defined elsewhere.

I know it just takes time, just curious as to a reference point.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cardio. Yep, I know it gets a bad rep as it counteracts lifting gains but in my experience, it destroys belly fat like no other exercise.

I've been eating more since I started lifting. Getting stronger but belly got an inch bigger from fat, though it was hard underneath.

Added bike sprints 3 times per week. Fat disappearing and almost gone after 2 weeks. I do a 2 min warm up, 20 secs all out Sprint to puking point x 3 with a 2 min cool down. 10 mins total.

[–]thunderbeyond1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well done mate

[–]Alphaphux2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Exactly, maybe the mantra should be changed to "Lift, Read, STFU, Put down the fork"

https://pics.me.me/strength-aesthetics-i-l-e-g-i-0-n-s-29677050.png

I can guess which guy 90%+ of women would prefer

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

put down the fork, if you wanna get forked

[–]NightFire45-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Actually neither.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have to agree with you here. Just look at romance novel covers. Publishers will lose money if they don't put the right physique on the cover. If you look closely you will see a pattern and that most male bodies are similar in size and aeshtetics. Some women like bigger, some like smaller, but there is a sweet spot here.

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=lp_17_nr_n_7?fst=as%3Aoff&rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A%211000%2Cn%3A17%2Cn%3A10141&bbn=17&ie=UTF8&qid=1519684745&rnid=17

[–]Alphaphux0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Key word was "prefer"

[–]creating_my_life0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great post. I'm on a similar path. Thanks for the confirmation.

[–]markpf730 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Having just come back from a family trip on the beach I can say that I didn't see a single person sub 15% BF on the beach (except maybe a couple of those trophy wives).

10% BF on an old man turns Mom heads as well as 20 year olds.

When I hit 10% (takes work and macros control) my wife starts trying to pull the crab back in the bucket.

[–]A-day-one0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Congrats- are you eating this in the morning and/or how how many meals do you eat in a day?



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