DL4/5 question

man_in_the_world · 2017-09-27T13:20:56+00:00

Take your kids away. Reducing time and attention to her doesn't mean you must do so to your kids as well.

You can also be less available while doing, say, home repair projects in another room or working outdoors.

Persaeus · 2017-09-27T18:11:54+00:00

I am out the door by 7am and not home before 11pm any night of the week bar Friday.

for a short period of time because it is required to sustain the family (i.e. work) this is acceptable. otherwise, you're an absentee father/husband by your choice. not saying a man can't do this; but don't be surprised when your kids start calling Chad dad.

donedreadpirate · 2017-09-27T19:03:44+00:00

You're gone from 7am to 11pm all week, travel every couple weeks, spend a day or two in between traveling, and you're worried about spending too much time with your kids on the weekends? I don't get it.

ReddJive · 2017-09-27T13:28:47+00:00

I didn't read your back story. In fact, I am just coming out of the wilderness myself (expect a FR on that at some point). I think you implemented things incorrectly.

DL4 is conditioning your availability to your wife with her treatment of you.

Your busy life separate from your wife should have been established at DL3. Sounds like you are just piling more on top of yourself. Men can do that. Work strengthens us and we seek it out. Adding too much work can turn her off as well. It will show a serious lack of interest on your part.

Being around the house but being busy taking care of things there can be the attraction that is needed. Yet, what's the status of sex? Your other MAP goals? How is she responding?

I do feel like there is something left unsaid here.

470_2_700_nm · 2017-09-27T14:06:59+00:00

Make sure you are taking the kids and wife out somewhere for a good time. My favourite is combining my hobby with family - kills two birds with one stone.

Also - post your body fat %, weight, and height. It's relevant.

If you are fat and not fit, disregard the dry vag. If you are - how is your game? Attracting and wetting other pussy? My experience is that just being 12% or better just pulled woman in once I became 12% or better.

My biggest point: If you are in shape as above, having fun, being OI,and leading the family as well as her roaming this way and that, internalize this: who cares if her pussy is dry? Your dick won't be for long.

Worriedtitan · 2017-09-27T14:33:56+00:00

Thank you guys. First the stats:

Bf 15%, weight 170lb, height 5 foot 11 inches. Main lifts are deadlift 290lb, bench 200lb, squat 260lb

Other pussy is not a problem, I always seem to have orbiters in the 6/7 range, but this is primarily at work where I have status (senior, well paid, young, nice car, etc). Outside I get IOI daily, but am not yet at DL6 so am not engaging.

I think I get this, I probably have been doing this wrong with too much emphasis on work. My weekly schedule is 2 nights client dinners, 2 nights martial arts and Friday night home.

I could better rebalance this to 1 night client dinner, 2 nights martial arts and one weekend night out with guys. Spot on that man recharge time is missing. I also want my kids to know and understand I have friends, right now they just see me as work or domestic dad

On the wife, we have sex weekly now (big improvement recently due to baby getting easier as she gets older and wife getting sleep) but it is lacklustre and when I push boundaries she isn't really into it. It isn't starfish, she gets on top, has O's, etc, but not frantic mad monkey sex. I don't often get hard no's anymore, mostly "lets do it later" etc and it is nice, not the "No, leave me alone" type of stuff from a few years ago.

As an example, last week was SW and she initiated me. Come the weekend with SW over, I got soft no. I do Kino and game, but I am learning here a lot as I am not good with her (no problem with other women when I want to, but wife doesn't click like your average chick for some reason)

I will see if the above tweeks make a difference. Any other views after seeing my stats etc?

Worriedtitan · 2017-09-27T14:33:56+00:00

Thank you guys. First the stats:

Bf 15%, weight 170lb, height 5 foot 11 inches. Main lifts are deadlift 290lb, bench 200lb, squat 260lb

Other pussy is not a problem, I always seem to have orbiters in the 6/7 range, but this is primarily at work where I have status (senior, well paid, young, nice car, etc). Outside I get IOI daily, but am not yet at DL6 so am not engaging.

I think I get this, I probably have been doing this wrong with too much emphasis on work. My weekly schedule is 2 nights client dinners, 2 nights martial arts and Friday night home.

I could better rebalance this to 1 night client dinner, 2 nights martial arts and one weekend night out with guys. Spot on that man recharge time is missing. I also want my kids to know and understand I have friends, right now they just see me as work or domestic dad

On the wife, we have sex weekly now (big improvement recently due to baby getting easier as she gets older and wife getting sleep) but it is lacklustre and when I push boundaries she isn't really into it. It isn't starfish, she gets on top, has O's, etc, but not frantic mad monkey sex. I don't often get hard no's anymore, mostly "lets do it later" etc and it is nice, not the "No, leave me alone" type of stuff from a few years ago.

As an example, last week was SW and she initiated me. Come the weekend with SW over, I got soft no. I do Kino and game, but I am learning here a lot as I am not good with her (no problem with other women when I want to, but wife doesn't click like your average chick for some reason)

I will see if the above tweeks make a difference. Any other views after seeing my stats etc?

Worriedtitan · 2017-09-27T15:16:18+00:00

Just want to expand on another feeling I get that prompted this post. I feel that even if I withdraw attention, so long as I am in a "safe" place from a Dread perspective, she doesn't care. When I actually go out, she pays attention.

MRP has been eye-opening for me because I am noticing so much behavioural undercurrent that I was oblivious to before. I also see it working, when I went to DL4 she suddenly started asking questions like, "are there girls at martial arts?", and, "but are they just there with their boyfriends? Or alone". Pre RP I would have not wanted her to be uncomfortable so I would have said no, sure they are with their boyfriends. Now, I want to balance discomfort with affection to create sexual tension, so I answered the questions correctly. It is not natural to me, but I am learning, like drifting, small inputs make big differences

BluepillProfessor · 2017-09-27T15:31:39+00:00

have I gone too far during the week and need to rebalance

This is only a question you can answer. We are not there. It usually depends on the ratio of Shit Tests to Comfort Tests. When you start getting more and more comfort tests and whining that "you never have time for me" is when you dial it off a bit and spend more time with her. NOW you have a TOOL TO USE! Your time is VALUABLE to her and, in most cases, she will gladly fuck you more to get more of your time. She doesn't experience it as an "exchange" (because that would mean she is nothing but a whore using her body to get what she wants :) but FEEEEEELLLLLZ increased lubrication and desire when she is around her more distant husband so she FEEEEELLLLZ less likely to turn down sex.

screechhater · 2017-09-27T21:55:04+00:00

You are trying so fucking hard she sees right through it

Just FYI, I am at dread level 4 and play my wife her like an accordion. she wakes me up regularly and mounts me

You aren't, so read here

Countpudyoola · 2017-09-27T13:14:25+00:00

resulting in dry vagina on Saturday and Sunday night

I'm not clear...is this actually happening or you fear it will happen.

Are you getting hard nos? Are you still initiating and building up?

Being away all week would normally suffice. Really examine your weekend behavior. Are you just playing with the kids all weekend and dropped flirting?

You just don't want to go off in the wrong direction.

Also: if you have something you want to do with your friends then sometimes you need to get out, even if you don't realize it (man recharge time).

My first wake up call that I was around TOO much is the first time I went O.I. to watch a game with a friend (and the first time in a long time I missed saying good night to my daughter) she melted down. She had no concept dad had friends and would come back after not being there. Showed me I needed to get out MORE.

Title	DL4/5 question
Author	Worriedtitan
Upvotes	3
Comments	13
Date	September 27, 2017 1:01 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/72s3dd/dl45_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/dl45-question.205380 https://theredarchive.com/post/205380

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