3 months Red Pill, read NMMNG and the feel guilty book along with lots of side bar. Lifting 2 months with progress.

Laying in bed with wife this morning hugging and rubbing messaging her which normally leads to once a month starfish duty sex. She seems to be enjoying. I run my hand over her back and tell her that she has really nice skin. She says well it’s then only skin you touched in 30 year... wait 28 years because I don’t know what you did or who you were with that year we broke up 28 years ago. She’s looking at me with pain on her face.

At first I think it’s a shit test so think of an agree and amplify response. That seems too cruel so I don’t say it. I ask her is she wants to know and she says NO! Didn’t know what to do so I STFU. Took a minute to use the bathroom and came back.

She’s hugging me and says that it seems I’m interested in something which means she can tell I want sex. Ususally means she will let me fuck her but she’s not about to enjoy it or do anything but starfish. I respond that I want to be close to her and there are many ways to do that including have coffee downstairs. She opts for that. I hug her for a bit but don’t continue to push. I rise up over her, kiss a boob then get out of bed to make coffee.

Normally if she rejects me I become captain butthurt and can pout for days. I get angry at her and it comes out in passive agrressive ways. Been working really hard to initiate but walk away smiling when I get a soft or hard no.

I avoided duty sex which is good but feel like I botched the comfort test. Any suggestions? I feel like I can reference the comfort test in the day by saying something like “you do realize that I choose your skin right? And that all these years I’ve had your back and that’s the back I want in my bed”

Anyone have better suggestions?