Should I encourage my wife to get a job?

MRPFuckMe1 · 2017-07-13T01:17:26+00:00

I'm much less sympathetic toward SAHMs than you are. Nor do I think homeschooling is generally a good idea, so there's my full disclosure.

It sounds to me that if her mothering is considered a "job," then she's doing a pretty lackluster job of it. If you were paying her, would you have any issues you feel would be worth raising? Would you just fire her?

The two reasons she's not really pulling her weight are:

She feels entitled
The captain isn't doing a very good job of captain-ing

When you've got an entitled teenager in the house, you have them get a job.

Your wife is the oldest teenager in the house. Ipso facto: yes, she should get a job.

fuckmrp · 2017-07-13T14:29:01+00:00

You sound like a giant pussy. You're using her employment as a covert contract in hopes she changes her behavior. You don't seem to want her to work, you want her to stop acting like a lazy teenager. What steps have you taken to ASSERTIVELY address the issues? Sounds like someone is scared of mommy. You want change, go rock the boat.

cholomite · 2017-07-13T01:17:42+00:00

If it benefits you, I think it's a good idea. Just don't turn into a jealous little bitch when she starts talking about how funny her guy coworker is, or going out with her new friends sometimes. If she's not getting that validation from Facebook, she will probably get it somewhere else. I personally think you need to get her to respect you a little more. If she doesn't have the motivation to help you out now, she sure as shit won't when she's also one of the "breadwinners".

My girl has a couple jobs. We don't have kids but I make sure she pays her fair share. She shit tests a lot more now that she pays for more, but just maintain frame and you should be fine.

BobbyPeru · 2017-07-13T01:46:51+00:00

The real issue is not her getting a job (or not), it's your poor leadership and lack of consequences for her being lazy. So, you want a job to teach her responsibility instead of you being the captain.

rp_findingmyway · 2017-07-13T09:18:54+00:00

"I didn't clearly set my expectations back then"

You still haven't.

"I'm sure I don't give her enough credit for what she has to deal with being home with the kids all day"

How old are your kids? Unless any of them are of nursing age or have unusual needs that require around-the-clock parenting, they are probably somewhat autonomous and leave her plenty of time over the course of the day to put dishes in the dishwasher.

Like others have said don't expect her getting a part time job to transform her attitude towards you or the amount of work she does around the house. Swing shift? Still homeschooling? Homey, your house is going to look even worse when you get home. And unless this PT job is stimulating, she will be resentful as hell towards you for "forcing" her to take it. Not a reason not to guide her towards getting a job, but just beware.

We have homeschooled all of our children at times. Keep in mind that many of your wife's peers in the SAHM/homeschooling community don't set the best example for her to follow as their homes and lives (sleeping in, houses look like a wreck, kids wear pj's all day) look EXACTLY like what your wife is doing. Fortunately the public school system is such a train wreck that despite all that, homeschooled kids (collectively speaking) are still far ahead academically than their publicly schooled peers.

It's a situation crying out for leadership. Be a grown ass man and set and enforce some standards. Tell her what you expect (FB limited to x minutes per day, after X, Y and Z have been completed, etc.) and watch your family grow.

johnadamsghost · 2017-07-13T01:15:22+00:00

Only seeing your wife for half an hour a day during the work week seems like it'd get old real quick. Should she get a job? Yes, she should, but not at the expense of completely upending your family.

valves582 · 2017-07-13T04:45:48+00:00

the hardest part is when the kids move out and your wife has nothing to do anymore she will be so use to her routine that she'll never get a job.

[deleted] · 2017-07-13T15:21:13+00:00

This all depends on what you and your family want and need.

I generally think a wife should do what her husband wants, needs and expects as best for the family, depending on the attendant facts and circumstances. and this requires you to think that through and make a decision on it, and help her walk that decision out.

Generally, if there are young children at home and not in school yet, mom probably should stay home. Mom can go back to work when the youngest is in school. But this "traditional" route is available only to men who earn enough by themselves to pay for and support families on their income alone. Most families just don't have that luxury anymore.

If the family needs her income, and that income pays for and offsets the expenses her employment causes (child care, clothing, travel, etc.), then she should work. She will need to work.

If she can't earn the money to pay for her own expenses and make that employment benefit the family, then she shouldn't work full time and you should cut expenses so as to make it on your income. She should work part time, or do other income producing or expense reducing activity, to help contribute to the bottom line.

Women with all the kids in school should work. There isn't enough housework to keep them busy. Housework is among the easiest and least time consuming work there is. Wives who don't work and don't occupy themselves enough end up gossiping with friends, fucking around on social media, blogging their stupid thoughts and opinions, and fielding offers of dick from the ex boyfriends and other men they're Facebook "friends" with. In today's 24/7/365 connectivity, idle pussies lead to affairs.

[deleted] · 2017-07-13T15:52:26+00:00

boy did u find the right place.

why let her eat bon bons and watch oprah all day?

Title	Should I encourage my wife to get a job?
Author	mrptw
Upvotes	2
Comments	23
Date	July 13, 2017 12:46 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6my8fv/should_i_encourage_my_wife_to_get_a_job/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/should-i-encourage-my-wife-to-get-a-job.205883 https://theredarchive.com/post/205883

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