First I just want to say, this forum is so appreciated. Like many, a light went off when I found it and spent since then consuming it all.
Background: 4 years ago, I met wife while on a work trip in South America (she was a local). We were both 27. We did backwards and forth for a year before an expedited wedding. (Expedited coz her Latino, religious Dad wouldn’t let her move to live with me without being married). I didn’t care, still don’t, I wanted to be with her and was sick of the backwards and forth so we got the wedding done, the visa sorted and she moved here. That was like 3 or 4 years ago.
1st year was good. But I slid to the BP. She's fiery, emotional and very stubborn (Latina). I can still say I slipped into BP because I loved her and wanted to keep her happy and keep the peace, silly me. Sex slowed way down in the 3rd year (and I started all the usual tricks like negotiating, complaining, and coverts). I took us to couples therapy for a year, spent tens of thousands and a lot of time. Got us no where so we stopped. Two good things this entire time, I kept my fitness up. Been lifting for 6 years solid now. She also maintains fitness/body. The second good thing is I always looked after the finances, still do, she wouldn’t have a clue. Spoken about kids many times. One day soon we’ve been saying for the past year or so. I think back to some things I did which were so BP its disgusting.
I'd dote on her like a bitch.
I'd wait for her to wake up on the weekends like a puppy dog.
I'd be the one apologizing and sucking up to her after she'd acted like a lunatic.
I'd argue with her about me wanting her to come to bed at the same time as me or I wouldn’t sleep right.
I'd ask her opinion on every action I took.
I'd say no to beers with the boys coz she'd go nuts at me for asking her if i could go.
She'd threaten to leave me every argument, i'd suck up and beg her not too and it would blow over. Disgusting I know. As I said, she is fiery by nature (Latina) and very emotional, cries over happy shit too. Very loving and nurturing but fiery as fuck (coz i'd allow it).
One year ago I would have said our SMV's were about the same. Both physically fit, her good latina looks and body, but that’s about it.
9 months ago after duty sex was down to once a fortnight, I found and swallowed the pill, currently 70% of side bar, most books are read. At pretty much the exact same time ( months ago), I got offered a huge promotion at work as a refinery manager out in a remote town. 290k per year, car, house, bills etc. We were very happy about the promotion and relocated. We settled well here, both made friends.
Around that time when we moved and I swallowed the pill, I started working on frame and my pathetic neediness. I already lifted so that didn’t need much work. I don’t feel I rambo'd, i just slowly stopped being so needy. Stopped acting like I needed sex, stopped being butthurt, stopped sucking up to her, stopped being pulled into her frame, stopped arguing with her over text. Stopped arguing with her full stop actually. Really built my frame and fogging/aa/am. Started making decisions (even about just little things). Kept busy, even on weekends, fixing the house, lifting etc. Dressed way better, shirts and good watches etc. I’ve kept a lot of the Beta qualities, love letters, buying gifts etc, but increased alpha a bit.
Sex and compliments increased, mainly i think because i pulled back on initiations and acted as if i DNGAF. She even started initiating.
Since then though, I feel my SMV could be overtaking hers, or perhaps already has. Obviously my finances have increased a lot, as has my status, especially in the small town that we are in (150 people). She still has her looks and body, but doesn’t have much else. Shes getting older (30). Small cash job teaching languages, dependant on me for her visa here. Needs me to have kids here too obviously. Since she left home, her immediate family have kinda spread out all over the world, so she only has her friends back where she came from. The one thing at my disadvantage is the remoteness of where we live. There are hardly any females here. Its either male's I work with or retirees. Very very rare to see a women under 30 here, my wifes one of the few. I feel this remoteness almost decreases my Sex market value because there is no Market! I cant just flirt with the girl at the checkout/restaurant and I cant just next my wife, coz there’s no next here. She knows it too.
Despite this, dread has set in a bit. She's mentioned a few times, that I don’t need her, and she absolutely hates when I have to occasionally travel to a city for work, gets dread jealous, wants to come, wonders where I am at the hotel at night etc. Its very rare I get to head to a city though.
So on came a form of main event. Came after a few days worth of small/trivial power struggles in a row which she pretty much couldn’t win (coz I control finances or whatever reason she couldn’t). She basically said i'm sick of making you happy, and that she was leaving me coz I wasn’t making her happy. Called her bluff and said go for it. She didnt. But she really is sulking about this. She wont divorce me, but has been sulking for more than 2 weeks now. Obviously no touching/kissing or worthy conversations. Just being depressed and unhappy. Whenever I question her on it, she just says, you know why, u don’t make me happy. I keep frame and DNGAF.
So question is: Am I on the right path here? Do I just leave her too it for a weeks and see if she gets over it? Will she be a sulky bitch forever? Will she withold the sex now forever? I cant dread her too far coz theres no other women here. I’m still pleasant, give her a peck on the cheek when I leave for work. She’s so angry that I seem unaffected by this. Thought and opinions appreciated. Burn me if I need it.