How do you know that it is a good time to open up a little and show vulnerability? I think this has been problematic for me pretty much my entire marriage.

I understand how important comfort and safety is to women, but I just end up scratching my head when I try and do something about it (respond properly and gain trust etc. instead of just staying neutral or not failing the test).

I did open up a little about a week ago after I noticed there were certain patterns in how I deal with co-workers/supervisors and friends that come from or are similar to how I was raised to climb my way up through aggressive and sometimes violent male social structures (family, work, school).

I relayed this to my wife and as she listened to my story it looked like she was almost in tears. How important to a stable and happy LTR is this kind of communication? Its not that its hard to talk about my feelings but Im very rarely in a mood where I would want to.