Quick background - Took the pill 2 months ago. Married 17 years and major trust issues in the relationship on both sides. More so with her trusting me as I had lied and hid things during our marriage. Also cheated on her twice. I know I am still new to everything and I am lifting, sidebar and working on my MAP now. My main focus is identifying shit/comfort tests and how to respond or STFU. Currently in marriage counseling which is shit but not as bad as it could be since the MC is red pill tolerant and not forcing me to talk about feels.

Issue - I have been slowly trying to implement RP first by lifting in my home gym and then handling shit around the house. I am staying busy and reading the sidebar covertly and not talking about Fight Club. I have tried not to change my demeanor with my wife to drastically but she has noticed big changes (for me anyway) and is suspicious. At first lifting was "oh good job" and getting stuff done around the house was "oh wow thanks". Now when I tell her I am lifting she gives me the sideways "ok" and house work is met with "well you're being a little ambitious this weekend".

In marriage counseling last week her exact quotes were "I like the changes he is making but I feel like I am left behind" and "I understand he is improving himself but he needs to see that there is more then just him impacted". Since that session I have seen her becoming more distant and saying sorry every time she does something wrong. Even little shit like something arbitrary. It is odd as she isn't typically like this.

Then this Saturday I had a fun day planned with the family in the afternoon after a morning of getting things done around the house. One of my items was to hang a new chandelier and my buddy flaked on bringing me his ladder so I just switched tasks and put that item off until Sunday. The wife keeps futzing with light and putting it together. I ask her to please stop and this immediately escalates. She goes off on how she is just prepping the light. I asked her again to please stop and this is where (I at least perceived) I failed. I began to DEER, saying the light cant be assembled now and explained why. She came back and thats when I realized what I did. My next response was I am the one hanging the light, I am the one climbing the ladder, if you want the light hung by me you need to leave it unassembled. I don't need to explain it anymore. That got the fine and then the storm off. I went about the rest of my morning. After that, she hit me with I don't think we should do x,y and z this afternoon since the kids aren't being good, etc. I just said I am going to do those things and you are more then welcome to come with us. She of course came and had a good time. However, since that day she has been more distant and not at all chatty. I keep things fun or at least try when I come home from work. I have cut down considerably with texting since starting RP but now even with logistics issues I get very curt one word answers from her. I am very consciously trying to not be Rambo or angry simply because of me cheating in the past I don't want to go ape shit into dread. Also considering I am only 2 months in, I am still on level 1-2 and will be for a while. I still comfort her when I perceive a comfort test.

Am I wrong in guessing this is all just hamster and her trying to figure out the situation?

Thanks for the advice!!

Edit: Formatting