So 8 months in. M44, F39. Read the sidebar. Struggling with consistency with SL 5X5, but working with the 16YO and pushing each other. I also just finished my military physical and labs were off. I have a plan and in 6 months, my health should be corrected. Mental state and developing some sort of frame has moved the marriage about 160 degrees. Not going the entirely correct direction but much improved. Sex went from DB to everyday if I am in my frame and on my game. The final 20 degrees is all on me, but I have a mental and physical wall I am struggling with.
Wife has followed me when I introduced sex toys. She likes them now, specifically vibes. When she uses them, she is tight and it’s great. When she doesn't she's loose and I don't feel much at all. Granted, she pushed out 4 kids so things are stretched out. It hit me last week that sex is 80% me where I do almost all the work. It was like a ton of bricks on my head that I was working to get here only to find a loose pussy and 20% participation. I don’t want sex to be all about the toys in order for me to feel anything. Shit. Now that I am actually writing this out, a huge covert contract to self-improve to get sex is screaming at me from my computer screen. Ugh. If I were around dread level 5-6, I have no doubt she would be doing what it takes to keep the pussy tight to drain my balls. I am at a 3-4 right now.
Anyway, I am here and I’ve lost attraction and incentive for sex with wife when I realized this. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how did you handle it?