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MRP and Pregnancy

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February 17, 2017

I've been unofficially unplugging for about a year (meaning I started some of this on my own before discovering these communities/literature). Anyway, I have a 2 year old and my wife is early into her next pregnancy. During the first pregnancy she went fucking wild with sex. The smallest touch could set her off, she loved her new big tits, etc. Lots of fun was had.

However, this time it could not be further from that experience. A couple of logistical differences between then and now - 1) I've been lifting so physically I'm more attractive, 2) doubled my salary, 3) Own my shit around the house. You know the absolute basics of what MRP preaches, 4) We have a toddler which does add stress to our lives (and joy). So the meaning of this last sentence is to say that I've worked at being more attractive this go-around and by my estimation I am. However, sex is not on her radar. I can tell she appreciates me gaming her but it doesn't really lead to sex. 8/10 she will agree to sex if I escalate but as many of us have experienced it's not the quality we really want. In fact last night she hopped off my dick as I was about to cum so quickly and went to the restroom. She apologized and said she just felt icky. It was funny in retrospect but man I've never gotten a response like that.

I've been reading up on pregnancy science and hormonal releases can vary greatly from pregnancy to pregnancy. It's common for them to be vastly different and low libido is as common, supposedly, as crazy high libido during pregnancy. So with that said my plan is to double-down on myself and make sure all of the house's shit is in order and pick up her slack since she has been having a rougher go of it this time (sickness-wise). Is there anything else I should be doing? Should I accept the hormones for what they are and just work on myself and forget sex for a while? The reason this whole post is so sex-centric is because for the most part everything else relationship-wise is good and personal-wise this is the happiest I've been in a long time.

Post Information
Title MRP and Pregnancy
Author MetalRP
Upvotes 7
Comments 26
Date 17 February 2017 10:55 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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[–]The_LitzRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

From what I read here she is not refusing you sex, just that your ego took a little hit when she jumped off.

At least you are just a little confused about it and not butthurt. Am I right? Do not sweat it, it is normal. If this happens a year from now.....well then it is a whole other remedy.

You got it tiger.

[–]MetalRP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Right, if my ego hadn't taken a hit this post wouldn't exist. Thanks

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing changes during pregnancy. You still act like a man, and you still initiate sex. A lot of times she won't be in the mood, either for logistics, hormonal changes, whatever. That is to be expected, just roll with the punches. Understand that at least some of the time, her unreceptiveness to sex is not directly because of a lack of attraction, so act accordingly. But whatever you do, don't go all beta on her. All you will do is trigger her hindbrain that she fucked up and you are not the real alpha she got pregnant by. You just roll with the punches, and keep working on you.

As a side note, don't write the entire pregnancy off yet. Women do tend to react differently to each pregnancy, and each trimester can be entirely different from the last. Usually, the second trimester is when the libido goes off the charts, as the pregnancy hormones have normalized, yet she is not far enough along that physical discomfort comes into play.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have 3 kids, and my wife is a tiny woman, so she generally didn't carry easy. Both pregnancies were completely different so no assumptions can really be made. I suspect your first born is a boy? Don't forget she's got the hormones from two people in her. My one data point was my wife felt different with her first, a boy then her second pregnancy, one of each. In her words, "I could tell it wasn't two boys, but also not two girls."

I'm a firm believer in leadership at all times. If your wife is pregnant you need to up the "head of the household" idea. She'll be nesting and with all those hormones she's likely to be a bit whacky. Don't supplicate and give her a sense of entitlement, instead get out your best WISNIFG, and learn how to be that oak in an emotional storm.

Remember there's a big difference between caretaker, and caregiver. Caretakers will start fixing when a problem arises, caregivers let someone know they are there to help if help is needed. Keep your habits up, chores done, etc but jump in if she's struggling. "hey babe, you Ok? Can I help?"

I don't ever believe in supplication for the sake of calming the storm. If she's being a crazy bitch because of pregnancy, that's bad behavior and you need to address it ASAP. If it's just general slow down and effort, well cut her some slack and change the mission, crew safety should always be considered but you are still the captain.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is where I find it helpful to disconnect sex from the most important things in your life. I made this mistake with my wife, where she felt like shit and had no libido, and almost blew the marriage up because the sex dropped off.

If she's witholding sex or being bitchy, those are problems to be addressed. But if she's making a good effort at being a decent wife, I say cut her some slack and focus on your mission. As always, your mission is your most important priority.

I don't know if I'll ever get my wife pregnant again because it was such a shitshow the first time around.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I originally downvoted this reply, but I have rethought what you are saying. I think you have it right in the sense that her withdraw of sex should not affect you. You should always be OI. And certainly pregnancy can be an explanation for a lowered libido on her part. But she absolute does not get a free pass on no sex. Marriage is fundamentally a sexual relationship. When you take the sex out of it, for any reason, you are changing the nature of the relationship.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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