Just back from literally throwing the wife over my shoulder, carrying her upstairs, throwing her on the bed, and fucking her silly. Yep, I'm the one who posted about being a pansy and not doing exactly this last night.
Damndest thing... She whined and complained the whole way up the stairs and when I started taking her clothes off. "It hurts, you try being bent in half, you're a jerk and I don't like it..."
I went down on her and she waited about 30 seconds to tell me she "wanted to have sex and have an orgasm, like now!" I stood up and gave her a look, and she reached between her legs, her ass hanging off the side of the bed like normal. But she grabbed my dick, put it in her pussy, and spent probably a minute holding onto my dick and pulling it in and out (never before!). I said "you really want it, don't you." She gave me a mean dirty look, and I didn't care. When she let go of my dick I fucked her for all I was worth. Her eyes flew open and stayed open the whole time. She's normally pretty vocal but she made noises tonight I've never heard her make before. She came really hard with legs shaking and back arching.
Afterwards she had a look of astonishment on her face and said: "Wow, that was intense! I don't remember the last time it was like that. I couldn't even close my eyes. How was it for you?" I smiled and said "it was great. You're welcome baby."
I don't know if it was that I just didn't respond to her shit complaining and dominated her, or if it was the intensity I brought to fucking her tonight. Maybe both. It was good to see her look at me like she did. It felt good to fuck her the way I did. We'll see what tomorrow brings. ;)
[EDIT] While I think it's dangerous to make any conclusions from one data point, I did learn that what she says, even in the moment and what she wants on at least a physical primal level are at odds with each other. What she says she wants or doesn't want would lead me to believe that she didn't want to be dominated. What she does and her physical response to my being a man and doing what I want, makes it clear that the opposite is true. What she says she wants or doesn't want/like, and what she physically responds positively to, are not the same thing.
The problem I have, and one of the things that held me back a couple nights ago when I failed miserably, is that I wanted at least a sign up front that the actions I'm taking ARE what she wants. She won't give me that. I've had others that do just that, so I won't say AWALT. I need to just take action and then watch to see her physical response.
When she's said "no" in the past (that she doesn't like or want something, that she's "just not like that," etc.) I've taken it as a hard no. That's not the case. So what does a hard no look like?