Shit test from STBX

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December 16, 2016
6 upvotes

STBX and I were having a logistical conversation (kids and babysitter) about New Year's eve. She wanted to know if I had plans with anyone (she figured out I've been seeing someone.) I said I plans, but would not give her details. She then asked me if I would like to have a drink with her and her bf. Keep in mind, this is the guy she left me for. Also keep in mind this guy is a registered sex offender, against kids.

She knows that I have her by the balls with the custody of the kids. My lawyer and I have drafted paperwork that will keep him from visiting my STBX in her home, even when the kids aren't there. Part of his crime(s) involved child porn and cameras.

So back to the conversation (shit test): STBX - Would you like to have a drink M and I? He would like to clear the air.

Me - No thanks. I'm pretty sure the air is clear enough. (It was extremely hard to not go ape shit as a response to this question)

STBX - I think you are passing judgment on him.

Me - Nope. That judgment is already out there.

STBX - Don't you care if I'm happy?

Me - Nope.

STBX - There you are thinking about yourself again.

Me - Yep. (This one really stunned her) (My BP answer would have been totally different)

STBX - Fuck you then. This is why I'm leaving you. Blah, Blah, Blah. You are so miserable, I hope you never find anyone that makes you happy.

Me - Ok.

STBX - That's all you can say.

Me - That's all that is worth saying.

I did suggest to her that if he would like to ask me himself, he is more than welcome to do so. I would no longer entertain words from her on his behalf. He has yet to contact me, and I don't anticipate him to.

I guess the point of my post is that the shit tests never end, even when the marriage has. Really though, why would she think I would causally indulge in a drink with her and her sex offender bf? WTF. All I could really do was shake my head once she left the room. I was more in disbelief that I was living in a world in which I would be involved in such a conversation.


Post Information
Title Shit test from STBX
Author postscript1114
Upvotes 6
Comments 29
Date 16 December 2016 10:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206762
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5ir0j5/shit_test_from_stbx/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
shit test
Comments

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

why would she think I would causally indulge in a drink with her and her sex offender bf?

Because there's some agenda you don't yet divine. Jesus what a piece of shit. Do your best for those kids lest they follow her example.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. You don't hate this person and I would work on the indifference. She is a toxic, solopsistic, game playing, cheating whore.

Why would you even speak with her? Her entire game was to reel you back in somewhat so she could get thrills by torturing you some more because that would prove her power and that she is still hawwwt.

[–]postscript1114[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I agree, she is trying a power play. She is starting to realize that she no longer has this power though. She is getting concerned that her tactics + the old me responded much differently as compared to the new me.

I do have to talk to her every day. We own a business together. We both play critical roles within the company. At this time we can't split on that front. I am re-structuring how I have the company set up though.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

She is starting to realize that she no longer has this power though. She is getting concerned that her tactics + the old me responded much differently as compared to the new me.

The fact that you care about this, plays directly into what u/BluepillProfessor was saying.

You care too much about what she thinks. WAAAAYY too much.

As long as you care, as long as you keep staying in the conversation, as long as you are a co-player in this game, your ass in hers, and she knows it.

Until you actually stop being the other side of the conversation, until you actually quit caring what she thinks, you are playing a losing game, with someone that has provably does not give a shit about you.

[–]postscript1114[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The only reason I responded to this question from her is I knew it indirectly involved the kids. Beyond business, kids or logistics, I don't entertain her conversations. We do still live in the same house, but she is a piece of furniture. Something to walk around in the house that isn't living.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're getting there. I think it you still engaged her and can work from there. As u/BluepillProfessor said, indifference is you goal.

Here's a way it goes down with total indifference:

So back to the conversation (shit test): STBX - Would you like to have a drink M and I? He would like to clear the air.

Me - No thanks. I don't think that is appropriate.

STBX - I think you are passing judgment on him.

Me - I have no opinion of him

STBX - Don't you care if I'm happy?

Me - I have nothing really to say.

STBX - There you are thinking about yourself again.

Me - So are we done here?

STBX - Fuck you then. This is why I'm leaving you. Blah, Blah, Blah. You are so miserable, I hope you never find anyone that makes you happy.

Me - You bring up a good point, let's talk through lawyers.

STBX - That's all you can say.

Me - Please, email or text only. We can talk through lawyers if need be.

She is clearly concerned that you will get a strict custody agreement, and rightfully I think you will. I think you need to enlist the help of a Guardian Ad Litem on behalf of your children. If he is a registered sex offender, there's probably strict conditions on where he can live, and who he can associate with. Using a GAL can help keep tabs on her and keep you from having to police her all the time.

Your singular focus should be how to leverage this so your kids are protected. Do not slack off on this. You should push to get full custody. Have your lawyer draft up an agreement that says so, remember you are opening the first salvo. This will put her on the defensive and get you a much favorable custody agreement.

When I was thinking of divorce, top of my list was meeting potential suitors prior to them meeting my kids. You have every right to keep your kids safe.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ex.

Non logistic talk

You dont get to ask me that anymore

/thread

[–]redearththeory6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

STBX - I think you are passing judgment on him.

Response to this should have been - "Hey, I gotta go, I have a lot of things to do, but you kids have fun. Bye"

[–]The_LitzRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

STBX - Would you like to have a drink M and I? He would like to clear the air.

Translated: They want to convince you to ease up on the child custody so that scumbag loser can move in with mom and she and him can be haaaaaapy.

You got this bud, keep that shit away from your kids and thank your lucky stars you live in a country that will enforce this kind of rules to a strict degree.

[–]BobbyPeru3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Me - No thanks. I'm pretty sure the air is clear enough

You should have STFU after this. Everything past that is DEERing. Give less fucks about your ex's emotions / manipulations

[–]postscript1114[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I get it. My answers in the past would have been much different and would have displayed butthurt on a jumbotron. I can assure you I don't give a flying fuck about her. Just need to show it rather than speak it better. Thanks for the response.

[–]BobbyPeru2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I get your responses are improving , but STFU is even more improvement

[–]Ezekiels_Wheel1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a long time lurker implementing the RP only in in the past six months or so. Started my MAP this month. I see from how you handled this I have a long way to go to establish enough frame to handle something like this without completely losing my shit. I need to re_read everything again. . ..... Damn... I mean Damn.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

STBX - I think you are passing judgment on him.

Nah, a jury of his peers did that.

Regardless of any revulsion you might feel about the bizarre world you've inherited, protect your kids.

She needs to realize how her choices will deny her access and that you will never budge.

[–]postscript1114[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

My kids are my main focus at this time. I, along with my lawyer, have worked on making sure that they will be protected. I've done this first before I have worked on my own protection.

The world that I've inherited is trying for sure. I think about where I was a year ago and can't believe this is where I'm at now, but I also look forward to a year from now. I know that my life and my kids' lives will be better.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The other shoe would have dropped eventually. Any woman who can hamster reasons to fuck a sex offender would have been cast off by an unplugged you sooner or later.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I am going to tell you this.......... If you know for a fact he is registered with child porn, you had better keep him away from your kids. The state can look @ you as not doing enough to keep them, safe.

Personally, I would place a restraining order on him for the kids and me both, this then goes on record, and I would do it fast, like start the process Monday

Then one on her she is a fucking piece of shit

[–]sh0ckley2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Second this. That guy wouldn't go near my kids if I had any.

[–]postscript1114[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The restraining order paperwork is already drafted. As I mentioned earlier, it will also restrict him from visiting my stbx's home (she is moving out next month) even when the kids aren't there. My lawyer is really focused on this issue.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Your duty as a father is to protect your kids. Despite her issues, she is still the kids mother, so keep that in consideration for their feelings towards her. The sex offender is nothing to you and a real threat to your kids.

Don't waste your time "clearing the air" with STBX and the sex offender. The only thing you'll hear in that conversation will be total BS excuses and massive hamstering on an epic scale.

Let her yell, curse, and carry on all she wants and just look at like a foolish brat or just leave when she is being rude.

[–]postscript1114[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

My emotions towards her in front of the kids are always neutral. Aside from some fucked up choices she has made recently, she is still a good mom to them.

No doubt this "clearing the air" is about how he has changed from the time when he was a swim instructor. How he can be around kids because he doesn't have those thoughts anymore. Blah, blah, blah.

He already knows to not cross the line. He has been warned. Not by me directly, but through some friends of mine. These friends happen to ride Harleys and wear patches that anyone would recognize. A group of guys I'm glad to be on the good side of for sure.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good mom?

And dating a guy wiht child porn background.

Yeah...right.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Are you fucking stupid ? A good mother would put them before herself.

I cannot agree with you..... protect them from her sheer fucking stupidity or live to regret it every mother fucking day for the rest of your life.

[–]postscript1114[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I guess I am stupid. In the beginning i went with she was clouded by NRE. Shit isn't changing though. I don't think she truly knows the sevarity of his offence, but that's for me to know and not her. I know I have something in my back pocket.

[–]All_Ads_Deceive2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she's fucking a sex offender she doesn't give a fuck about your kids. Looks like she still has you fooled. Kids aren't always better off with their bio parents.

[–]postscript1114[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She did have me fooled. It's one of those situations where I wish I could shake the shit out of here and tell her to wake up. Ideally the legal process will do this though. If not, she will soon realize (maybe) what she is doing to the kids. This will be for her to figure out though. I will no longer spell it out for her.

[–]sh0ckley2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"There you go thinking about yourself again." OP: Yep.

+1

Nice job buddy. I do agree with the others though, that this conversation should hardly have happened at all.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]postscript1114[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes! Thank you for this link. I had forgotten about this scene.



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