I'll try to keep things brief, a little context, and then on with the meat of the title. Me; 28, her, 23, met her when she was 18 and we've been living together for 4 years now.

I mainly lurk here because I've been trying to correct course for 2 years worth of (pre TRP went hard beta) damage, have been working on it for a solid 2 years now. We're at the point now where I've told her plenty of times she isn't getting more commitment from me and that I'm moving out by the end of our lease if our sex life doesn't improve immensely. She genuinely has owned up to not doing her best here and is slowly working on it, I'm pretty impatient though.

This morning she broached me with wanting to talk sometime about how we can improve the sex front, and she thinks there are some "barriers" keeping her from "feeling sexy". I actually don't think this is a huge shit or comfort test - sometimes my girl is incredibly straightforward about what she wants/feels.

We haven't had a deep talk on it yet, (I want to be as prepared as I can hence why I'm posting) but I asked her before leaving that morning, give me an example or something you can point to, and she claims that my "conservative" attitude towards nudity with regards to women is one of those "things" that is making her feel "unsexy." Without giving a giant life story here, she's referring to some incidents years ago where I believe I lost frame hard. Basically they all boil down to, she gets drunk or whatever with our friends, and wants to act out, and I displayed hard boundaries + disapproval + mate guarding behavior. Whether this is genuine repercussions of my previous actions, I'm not sure. I laid down boundaries that I simply would not tolerate certain behavior in a future mother of my children, thought it was classless, etc, and was willing to die on that hill.

Fast forward to today, she said she thinks I'm "insecure" because I basically wanted her to act more ladylike, and claims its a barrier on her being able to feel more free and sexy with me. I'm really curious as to any insight here, what any of you fellow captains think on this.

My two cents on the whole matter - I need to finish reading SGM ASAP, I've identified the biggest problem she has in our sex life, at least what I think her biggest problem is, and it's Immersion. Case in point, when we were still new, we'd dirty talk and roleplay with each other all the time, which suggests a very high level of being "into it". Nowdays, I don't notice her ever getting close to the levels of Immersion I want her in without getting her somewhat intoxicated first. She's too caught up in her own bullshit to be present and in the moment, and it's killing my attraction for her, and I've told her thus.

TLDR: LTR and I are working on trying to improve sex life, she claims that there are some "barriers" she needs to work on that I had a hand in. Shit test or not?