Starfish/sex turn downs

Persaeus · 2016-11-07T11:03:50+00:00

Give fewer fucks, if she is not in the mood let her own that . You are not required to participate in lame sex and are not responsible for her feelz.

FireTempered · 2016-11-07T14:32:12+00:00

Assuming you did not act butthurt, and approached this as a man with choices and a friendly demeanor, you did fine. The big question is what did she do the next day?

If leaving would be a shitty move, just go to sleep. Many here only initiate when they would be leaving anyway, except at night. Takes all the potential drama out of it and seems like you, again, are a man that has choices and have a friendly charming, not beta, demeanor.

Again, I think you did fine. Keep at it.

RPAlternate42 · 2016-11-07T15:44:05+00:00

Rarely happens, but when she starfish especially on me, I turn her over, fuck her doggy and hard, cum in her, then immediately pull out put my pants on and go eat and watch TV, leaving her to lay alone wondering wtf just happened.

If she wants to act like a despondent hooker, I'll treat her like one.

BobbyPeru · 2016-11-07T19:35:53+00:00

Finish anyway. I don't think there's a way you could have done that without looking butthurt. When you're done, just get up right away without saying a word and wash up or whatever you normally do.

If you can't finish because you feel like you're fucking a dead fish, just tell her you're not feeling it, and let's revisit it another night. Don't say a word about the starfish though. You can't negotiate desire, and it makes you look weak if you try. Perception of weakness = even less attraction. Her hamster will go to work.

FRedington · 2016-11-07T19:46:12+00:00

Ovulation! ... That is the key.
Keep track of her period.
Ovulation appears somewhere between first day of period and first day of next period. -- Expertise on the subject invited. -- Her natural tendency to be receptive occurs around ovulation time. Some other time -- Expertise, please -- she will be less receptive.

Use this to your advantage.

screechhater · 2016-11-07T12:38:05+00:00

Just use it as exercise to see how long you can last. At some point solid pumping turns the situation around or it's a sign you got some gaming and other work to do

I have never gotten off the horse. I have heard the I'm drying up so I have grabbed the KY and guess what ? I just keep pumping

YMMV I have always thought starfish was duty. I got a duty to me too.

GargantuaBlarg29 · 2016-11-07T15:17:47+00:00

It's not so much "if she is a starfish/hard no, leave", it's "if she is a starfish/hard no go do the other cool stuff you had planned". If it's 11:00pm and you don't have plans and work tomorrow, go to bed. If it's 5:00pm and you don't have plans...like anything you want to go do...then you need to start filling your life with those things.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-11-07T20:46:03+00:00

I don't think you looked like a Beta to your wife. You look like a Beta to us, however. Why the second guessing?

cBIGONE · 2016-11-07T07:43:53+00:00

Fuck, you know, I'm tired too. We need one of those moving beds so it can do all the work for us.

Didn't realize it was so late; I gotta get up in the morning and work out.

Jesus fuck, doing all those squats and deadlifts really take it out of me.

Sniff your armpit. Good God, I stink. I need to go take a shower. Then come back and not be in the mood; just really relaxed from a hot shower.

ProbablyAMonkey · 2016-11-08T15:19:06+00:00

I think how she takes your response is primarily dependent on what's going on outside of sex. I'm a noob, swallowed the pill about 5 months ago, and I have been moving slowly but steadily along dread (and lifting 100% consistently--that's been the best part by far).

A few nights ago, after the kids were in bed, I was getting flirty with the wife. She's giggling, etc. Score! We go upstairs, brush teeth, and I start kissing her. Instantly get the weak ass "I'm letting you kiss me but I'm not into it" response (soft no #1). I start to do more, and bam, there's the offer of starfish. "I'm tired, you can do it if you go get the lube and don't take too long." (YOU can do it...really sexy, right?)

Normally, thirsty me would have jumped at this, but instead I leaned over, gave her a kiss on the forward, told her I loved her and rolled over to go to sleep.

She doesn't move--it was one of those moments where the tension (all from her--I was fine!) was almost palpable. I could almost hear the hamster at work.

She says "You...don't want to have sex...?"

I say "It's all good--I actually want to get up early to go workout. Night pet-name!" (I honestly DNGAF, so I didn't sound butthurt at all.)

There's total silence for about 30 seconds, and then she rolls over to go to sleep.

Next morning, I get woken up with a BJ. It's been years since that has happened.

Thirsty beta me used to tell her, when I was talking about how sex was important to me and our relationship (ugh--makes me sick thinking about these conversations now), that I loved being woken up with a hand or mouth on my cock. I even asked for that for my birthday before (double ugh). Just like the lava cake guy whose wife never could get her shit together to make a lava cake one day a year, wife would never wake me up that way.

It's amazing when shit just works, huh?

KyfhoMyoba · 2016-11-10T00:54:43+00:00

What level of Dread. Game. Are you at? Really?

Take it up a notch or two.

Title	Starfish/sex turn downs
Author	cBIGONE
Upvotes	8
Comments	44
Date	November 7, 2016 6:24 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5bkpkl/starfishsex_turn_downs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/starfishsex-turn-downs.206903 https://theredarchive.com/post/206903

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