First post was interesting and a total train wreck: https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/51vuei/main_event_happening_now/

Since then, have read quite a bit of the sidebar, bought all the books in required and suggested reading, and read most of NMMNG.

Working on my frame and being OI while owning my shit. Example: I have saved my clothes from when I was thinner in some foolish hope I would be that size and want to wear those clothes again. I went through 10 tubs of clothes and donated all of them to either goodwill or to my younger teenage brother. she threw shit tests at my about why i was doing it and why wasn't I doing the other thing she wanted done. I STFU and held my frame for most of them and used AA for a couple.

Next i decided my room needed to be overhauled. I had a bad habit of saving papers for "memories" that i would put into a shoe box and save. I have one for each year for the last 13 years. I went through and threw out 98% of the crap and only kept things for an eventual memory book that were actually significant. Someone posted on here about owning my shit and making sure my house is the way I want it, which really struck a chord with me.

She shit tested me like mad during this time, some were small about old memory items and were easily handled with AA and STFU, but she got more uncomfortable and unleashed her major crazy escalating shit that she does, but this time I saw it coming and STFU while recognizing where i wanted to DEER. I wanted to DEER so many times, it was really eye-opening how many times I do that crap.

Ostensibly she took issue because i told a friend in conversation that a mutual friend was not good at his finances and I would never cosign for them on a car, but i would for my friend, since he is financially responsible. She said that i would need to ask her before i did anything like that and get her permission. I advised that were it to happen, it would be my decision.

The following day, during her regular shit tests while I cleaned, she brought up the cosigning again, she then fell back onto one she has used several times to make me DEER hard. I recognized exactly what she was trying to do and decided I had enough. I stared directly into her eyes and told her I wasn't going to talk about this anymore and she could either stop, or I would leave. She didn't believe me an continued, so wordlessly I changed into nicer clothes and grabbed my keys. She then tried her "you don't go, i'll go" reversal attempt and power play bullshit again. I DNGAF and just got into my car. she tried to block my car in for about a minute, then when she finally realized I DNGAF, she went back inside.

After a very relaxing hour and a half spent reading NMMNG at a park, I went home and went back to cleaning, no words were spoken by either of us and the silence was amazing.

She declined sex that night, for the first time I can recall, I didn't miss a beat and just went on and did something else, like that's what I was planning to do all along.

Realizations: My much older brother is a Chad alpha and always had Chad friends around. I learned that to get women, i needed to pretend to be an Alpha (i called it asshole at the time) to i did exactly that and ended up acting like a loner alpha, but i still had all my beta beliefs and that was just a (bad)mask i put on to get women. The good news is RP is destroying those BP beliefs and i can start using those good alpha tendencies and don't have to be afraid to use them as full time beliefs and not a mask that I think is bad.

Fitness: Injured myself at work, so l missed a day of lifting this week, will be back hard next week. Been researching my form and next steps for my workout and future CUT plan. My deadlifts are up to 385x4 now, but I realized at 285lbs, I am 32% bodyfat.

I plan to use stronglifts 5x5, but I REALLY need to cut first and get down to 20-25% before I work on increasing strength again. Can you do Stronglifts while cutting? does it hurt/help the program?

I've heard good things about Keto, but am worried about the acid buildup and loss of muscle. any info from others that lost that much would be appreciated.

Next steps: start cutting in the middle of October, after researching best plan for someone my size/health.

Finish NMMNG and read WISNIFG by the end of next month.

Go overboard on caretaking next week BF activity#17 I think.

Increase gym efficiency to more work in less time (from 2 hours spent, to 1) and add a 4th and 5th gym day over the next 4 weeks.

Post in OYS thread at least once in the next 4 weeks.

As always, your feedback on the recent scenario, my fitness, or my next steps are appreciated.