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Mini-FR & Observation

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September 12, 2016
7 upvotes

TL;DR – give credence to what she does, not what she says; however, don’t completely disregard what she says, because reading between the lines can also reveal truth.

 

Since I started the MRP readings I’ve been paying better attention not only to my own behavior and mannerisms, but also to my wife’s. Mostly I’ve had a handful of minor “Aha!” moments, but a couple of them contributed to my paradigm shift away from the pussy pedestal / special snowflake perception towards my wife, and my interpretation of her behavior.

 

All Women Are Like That (AWALT) to a greater or lesser degree.

 

My first example follows the what she does, not what she says model to a “T”, and also reiterates a point that I haven’t seen touched on here recently; for years been my wife has been telling me how much bitchy-PMS stereotypes bother her, because she, and most women, aren’t like that and those who are, are just using it as an excuse to be bitches.

 

Bullshit, says I, now that I know better. Gentlemen, if you haven’t yet, drop what you’re doing right now and download a period tracking app for your smart device; I use Clue, but there are others, as well. Just get one.

 

It was like a magical epiphany to me once I started using it. My preconceived notions of “she’s not like that” were shattered, and suddenly I was better prepared to handle her heightened volatility that comes once a month. I stated tracking this a couple of months ago, after I started lurking, but before I really took the MRP process seriously, and even as a fat, lazy, low value fucktard, it helped my sanity immensely to understand why she was suddenly acting like a rabid weasel.

 

Take-away – she isn’t very self-aware, and just because she doesn’t believe a thing to be true, doesn’t mean it isn’t. Don’t take what she says at face value, look for empirical data yourself; people behave the way they do for a reason.

 

That was a couple of months ago, and it helped me nudge the pussy pedestal a bit, and while she wobbled, she refused to fall.

 

More recently I came to the realization that she’s using me, and has been all along. I don’t say that bitterly, because the fact is that we are all using each other for one thing or another. We use our wives for sex, they use us for protection and resources, and so on. Relationships are by their nature transactional, all humans are like that. Getting violently mushroom-stamped by the truth is a rude awakening, though. Pedestal is much shorter, now.

 

I’m keeping the details sparse, because doxing, but the gist of it is that she and I have a mutual acquaintance that we have known since high school who is an ever bigger fuck up in life than I am. Lots of supporting details, but it culminates in him knocking up a much younger single mom, then “manning up” by moving out of his parent’s basement, marrying her, and moving into a slum to raise their spawn until she finds her next baby daddy.

 

When the wife hears about it through Face Space, she naturally has to tell me all about it because women love drama like we love pussy. She declares this skank to be a gold digger, which I refute because the dude is dirt poor and can’t hold down a real job to save his life and gold diggers go for rich dudes. Her response (I’m paraphrasing here) was that this chick is the smartest, most successful kind of gold digger, because she didn’t go for a high-value man who would take lots of effort to get her claws into, but for a low value man who would give her everything he has in return for very little effort on her part.

 

I realized, of course, that she was describing our relationship by proxy without realizing it; I was that schmuck who was giving her everything I could in return for very little from her. At the time I was pissed, as this was a real kick in the nuts.

 

Take-Away 1) – my wife has also told me on many occasions that she hates drama (as well as passive-aggressive behavior, but that’s another post), but the fact is that she loves it, as long as she gets it on her terms. Women LIVE on that shit, and it behooves us as men to remember that, and ensure that they get it in sufficient quantities, and on our terms.

 

Take-away 2) – Relationships are transactional – we bring value to the table and try to get as much as we can in return. Don’t get fleeced by the used-car salesman of wives.

 

Take-away 3) – It takes one to know one, so read between the lines when your woman is blathering on about other people’s drama. The stuff she talks about catches her interest because she can relate to it, and there is a good chance her blathering on to you about it is a form of covert communication.

 

Like Donald Trump, a woman can say most anything and mean it truthfully, in the moment. That doesn’t necessarily make it objectively true, however, so don’t take her words at face value. What was true to her yesterday may not be true today, not necessarily because she is a liar, but because her truths are based on feelings.

 

Conversely, women, and people in general, really, reveal a lot of truth that they might not necessarily mean to during the course of casual conversation. Learn to read between the lines, and look for subtext; sometimes she does mean what she says, but not in the way you think she does.


Post Information
Title Mini-FR & Observation
Author Gallbladder_Summoner
Upvotes 7
Comments 13
Date 12 September 2016 08:46 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207107
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/52gl6k/minifr_observation/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
single motherAWALTdramapedestalsnowflake
Comments

[–]sh0ckley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good point(s). I'll be listening outside the box.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Take away #2 needs to die in a fire for MRP to be successful.

You want your SO to desire you. Desire can't be negotiated. All transactions have an overt or covert component understood by the parties as "the deal."

In order for desire to be genuine, it needs to be given freely with no expectations of anything in return. Providing value for its own sake.

The cycle of transactions must be broken or you will always live like a whore and John, not a man and woman who care for each other.

[–]Gallbladder_Summoner[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Take away #2 needs to die in a fire for MRP to be successful.

You want your SO to desire you. Desire can't be negotiated. All transactions have an overt or covert component understood by the parties as "the deal."

Although we discourage covert contracts and things like choreplay, what is a relationship if not a contract between two people wherein both contribute to the relationship, according to mutual expectations? What are marriage vows, if not a "deal" between husband and wife to do what husbands and wives do for each other?

In order for desire to be genuine, it needs to be given freely with no expectations of anything in return. Providing value for its own sake.

The cycle of transactions must be broken or you will always live like a whore and John, not a man and woman who care for each other.

You're correct in that desire literally cannot be negotiated; you might be able to negotiate feigned desire for a while, but it will be fleeting. True desire, as you say, is given freely without expectation of anything in return - she wants you, because you're so fucking awesome she can't help herself and would do anything to be with you.

Providing value, however, is negotiable, and transactionable. If your wife is being shitty, is it not MRP dogma to withdraw your presence, or, in other words remove her access to your value, temporarily?

What about divorce, is that not ever an acceptable course of action? Assuming a situation where the man in question is of high value and has his shit together, but his wife cannot or will not follow his lead and uphold her end of the relationship bargain, he is completely within his rights to divorce her and move on. It should go without saying that the same applies to a woman who is dealing with a POS drunk captain of a man-child.

Transaction may be a poor word to use to convey my meaning, but the fact is that people enter into relationships with expectations, and their continued presence is dependent on their partner meeting them.

Why on earth would you want to stay with someone shitty, unless you simply don't have enough value to offer (e.g. you're shitty, yourself) to move on to a non-shitty person.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

We do not advocate, support, or save marriages for the very reason that they create contracts between the sexes and create a quid pro quo expectation. (I support you, you fuck me regularly.)

Refer to my name. MRP is The Red Pill on "Hard Mode" because we have placed ourselves at an inherent disadvantage when it comes to sexual strategy. Rule Zero is still our creed and code.

This is not a support group. We help men help themselves. If you remove your presence and affection from your wife expecting a reaction from her related to that action, then you don't understand dread. You start dread with the expectation that your marriage is already over. Contract null and void for breach via loss of consortium.

Divorce is always an option. You choose to fuck one person and the court system can fuck you.

Children is the mitigating factor for me, as I wish that they be brought up in a harmonious two-parent household, and I still enjoy fucking and talking with my wife. She's funny, still has great tits, puts up with my highbrow wit, and is a fan of Shakespeare

Good relationships are built on an attraction and respect that contracts, overt or covert, should never be required to cobble together.

I stand by my statement.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

W&S gave me this advice a few days ago in last week's OYS. Some of the best I have received on this sub, and that says a lot.

GBS, you are miscontruing quite a bit of MRP dogma IMO.

Providing value, however, is negotiable, and transactionable.

No, not really. You provide value by just being awesome and because YOU derive joy/bliss from bringing value to other people. I bring my wife a cup of coffee in bed just the way she likes on the weekends because I enjoy this act. Set your frame and actions from a position of abundance mentality and benevolence with zero expectations or negotiation.

If your wife is being shitty, is it not MRP dogma to withdraw your presence, or, in other words remove her access to your value, temporarily?

The answer here is complex (at least to me it was...). See professor's book on Dread Level 4 for the gold standard explanation, but in a nutshell:

  • You only remove your physical presence for repeated sexual denials.
  • However, after giving her a chance to shit test/dump on you . . . you are free to go about your NORMAL business. This might be watching the game, mowing the lawn, or going to the gym; but it is not a hard eject.
  • It is acceptable, and encouraged if you got the frame, to call her out on being shitty and then go about your business.
  • You only remove your mental/emotional presence at DL9 (FMoFY). This is you checking out and heading for the door. A lot of guys fuck this up with 100% STFU.

RZD above and W&S in my reference say all that needs said about divorce.

[–]Gallbladder_Summoner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you remove your presence and affection from your wife expecting a reaction from her related to that action, then you don't understand dread.

Maybe we disagree, or maybe I'm just shit at explaining the ball of yarn that's in my head, but this is exactly backwards of what I'm getting at.

I'm not advocating taking action (removing presence, etc...) in order to elicit a reaction from your wife (being pleasant). That's the definition of a covert contract, is blatantly manipulative, and just generally no bueno. You do it because she is being shitty and you have better things to do if she is subtracting value from your life, rather than adding to it. The same principal applies to other friends, activities, etc... If something doesn't add value to your life, you cut it out like cancer.

I'll concede that I likely explained the concept poorly, or I may be completely off the reservation on this. I'll give it more thought and revisit it, later.

You start dread with the expectation that your marriage is already over.

I like this.

[–]bangorlol0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Her response (I’m paraphrasing here) was that this chick is the smartest, most successful kind of gold digger, because she didn’t go for a high-value man who would take lots of effort to get her claws into, but for a low value man who would give her everything he has in return for very little effort on her part.

Oomph. Brutal, but I can't help but think about the diminishing returns there. Sure, she probably controls everything in their relationship, but the king of a land with no water is still going to die of dehydration. What's the point of being with a Beta Bux without the "Bux"? Free childcare?

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What's the point of being with a Beta Bux without the "Bux"? Free childcare?

You have hit on a concept I have been struggling with for some time now. What keeps a woman with a broke beta? They toil and suffer, working 2 jobs with hubby sitting at home playing on the Playstation she bought him for xmas. These guys are often, fat, unkept, jobless man-children that need mommy to run everything in there lives.

Every family seems to have one of these men, yet their wives refuse to leave them, or admit he is a fuckup.

I have a few theories but nothing solid.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Her response (I’m paraphrasing here) was that this chick is the smartest, most successful kind of gold digger, because she didn’t go for a high-value man who would take lots of effort to get her claws into, but for a low value man who would give her everything he has in return for very little effort on her part.

Women say shit to make sense out of things they know are complete bullshit. Hmmm, baby momma get's knocked up and gets to raise little Billy Bastard in the hood? You're wife if she has a modicum of intelligence knows this is abjectly false.

She says this because her hamster needs to rationalize her own poor decisions. It just keeps spinning and spinning hoping that running faster will make it so. But like a hamster on a wheel, she makes no progress.

So ask yourself why did you post all this shit? What are you going to do about it. It sounds like your wife is projecting her own poor decisions.

[–]Gallbladder_Summoner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think you hit on the truth, here.

When my wife and I started dating I was in the military, gaining rank ahead of my peers, and gung-ho to do 20+ and retire.

Since then I've made some decisions that went a direction I'm sure she did not anticipate, and I'm equally certain that she resents me for it and perhaps regrets hitching to my wagon to some degree or another.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"my wife has also told me on many occasions that she hates drama (as well as passive-aggressive behavior, but that’s another post), but the fact is that she loves it, as long as she gets it on her terms. Women LIVE on that shit, and it behooves us as men to remember that, and ensure that they get it in sufficient quantities, and on our terms."

Yes. Funniest moment of my past 2 years was when I said something snarky to wife (Did you just X? YUP) and she said I said it that way to hurt her, she couldn't believe I said it, she doesn't want to live with someone who uses sarcastic replies to hurt the other person. To be clear, I said "YUP", with some snark.

I'm like whut? You can't live with yourself?

It was hard to not bust out laughing. Maybe I came off a little aggro, but it did take me right out of her frame. (My reply to "I don't want to live with someone ..." implied threat was to reply "I wish you'd make up your mind then." - at least I had a little OI.)

Ignore the words, watch the actions.

[–]trp_dude0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Her response (I’m paraphrasing here) was that this chick is the smartest, most successful kind of gold digger, because she didn’t go for a high-value man who would take lots of effort to get her claws into, but for a low value man who would give her everything he has in return for very little effort on her part.

I realized, of course, that she was describing our relationship by proxy without realizing it; I was that schmuck who was giving her everything I could in return for very little in return.

Truth is a bitch, ain't it?

[–]Gallbladder_Summoner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Indeed it is.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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