TL;DR – give credence to what she does, not what she says; however, don’t completely disregard what she says, because reading between the lines can also reveal truth.
Since I started the MRP readings I’ve been paying better attention not only to my own behavior and mannerisms, but also to my wife’s. Mostly I’ve had a handful of minor “Aha!” moments, but a couple of them contributed to my paradigm shift away from the pussy pedestal / special snowflake perception towards my wife, and my interpretation of her behavior.
All Women Are Like That (AWALT) to a greater or lesser degree.
My first example follows the what she does, not what she says model to a “T”, and also reiterates a point that I haven’t seen touched on here recently; for years been my wife has been telling me how much bitchy-PMS stereotypes bother her, because she, and most women, aren’t like that and those who are, are just using it as an excuse to be bitches.
Bullshit, says I, now that I know better. Gentlemen, if you haven’t yet, drop what you’re doing right now and download a period tracking app for your smart device; I use Clue, but there are others, as well. Just get one.
It was like a magical epiphany to me once I started using it. My preconceived notions of “she’s not like that” were shattered, and suddenly I was better prepared to handle her heightened volatility that comes once a month. I stated tracking this a couple of months ago, after I started lurking, but before I really took the MRP process seriously, and even as a fat, lazy, low value fucktard, it helped my sanity immensely to understand why she was suddenly acting like a rabid weasel.
Take-away – she isn’t very self-aware, and just because she doesn’t believe a thing to be true, doesn’t mean it isn’t. Don’t take what she says at face value, look for empirical data yourself; people behave the way they do for a reason.
That was a couple of months ago, and it helped me nudge the pussy pedestal a bit, and while she wobbled, she refused to fall.
More recently I came to the realization that she’s using me, and has been all along. I don’t say that bitterly, because the fact is that we are all using each other for one thing or another. We use our wives for sex, they use us for protection and resources, and so on. Relationships are by their nature transactional, all humans are like that. Getting violently mushroom-stamped by the truth is a rude awakening, though. Pedestal is much shorter, now.
I’m keeping the details sparse, because doxing, but the gist of it is that she and I have a mutual acquaintance that we have known since high school who is an ever bigger fuck up in life than I am. Lots of supporting details, but it culminates in him knocking up a much younger single mom, then “manning up” by moving out of his parent’s basement, marrying her, and moving into a slum to raise their spawn until she finds her next baby daddy.
When the wife hears about it through Face Space, she naturally has to tell me all about it because women love drama like we love pussy. She declares this skank to be a gold digger, which I refute because the dude is dirt poor and can’t hold down a real job to save his life and gold diggers go for rich dudes. Her response (I’m paraphrasing here) was that this chick is the smartest, most successful kind of gold digger, because she didn’t go for a high-value man who would take lots of effort to get her claws into, but for a low value man who would give her everything he has in return for very little effort on her part.
I realized, of course, that she was describing our relationship by proxy without realizing it; I was that schmuck who was giving her everything I could in return for very little from her. At the time I was pissed, as this was a real kick in the nuts.
Take-Away 1) – my wife has also told me on many occasions that she hates drama (as well as passive-aggressive behavior, but that’s another post), but the fact is that she loves it, as long as she gets it on her terms. Women LIVE on that shit, and it behooves us as men to remember that, and ensure that they get it in sufficient quantities, and on our terms.
Take-away 2) – Relationships are transactional – we bring value to the table and try to get as much as we can in return. Don’t get fleeced by the used-car salesman of wives.
Take-away 3) – It takes one to know one, so read between the lines when your woman is blathering on about other people’s drama. The stuff she talks about catches her interest because she can relate to it, and there is a good chance her blathering on to you about it is a form of covert communication.
Like Donald Trump, a woman can say most anything and mean it truthfully, in the moment. That doesn’t necessarily make it objectively true, however, so don’t take her words at face value. What was true to her yesterday may not be true today, not necessarily because she is a liar, but because her truths are based on feelings.
Conversely, women, and people in general, really, reveal a lot of truth that they might not necessarily mean to during the course of casual conversation. Learn to read between the lines, and look for subtext; sometimes she does mean what she says, but not in the way you think she does.