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Captains Log - 1+ Month

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September 2, 2016
11 upvotes

I figured I would write a captain’s log, for me to look back on in a few months to laugh at.

Background: Married 15 years, 3 Kids. I haven’t been a captain at all, I was led by my wife from the start. She was the one to ask me out and for 5 of those 15 years I was a drunk (alcoholic) captain. Being an absent captain led to getting exactly what I deserved even though society told me different.

Wife controls everything (I am not kidding myself on this anymore I fully understand that I am currently in her marriage), Sex: Pitty sex 10-20 times a year, her choice of house, cars, Schools, Friends, etc. and here is the best part she manages all the finances even though I am the sole breadwinner. Oh dear lord what a good Cabin Boy I am.

Basically I got what I now realize I deserved and based on the drivel that society told me I felt I should have been happy with that but I wasn't. I did get things of my own to control, things a cabin boy is great at dealing with. I cook all the meals, I have the only money earning job which helps pay for a cleaning lady, full time daycare for our youngest and whatever else my overworked SAHM wife needed. I am now realizing I can’t blame her for not being able to be a Mother and Homemaker because she needed to captain the ship as well.

RP - Before understanding RP

Wasted years in Couples Therapy, and then a few more posting on /r/DeadBedrooms generally wasting time and not applying myself because nothing seemed to be working. Then some things started to work? Some guy in DB suggested I forget about my Wife and sex and start focusing on myself, lift weights, go out make friends. Even if it didn’t fix my marriage at least I would feel better about myself.

I dropped 30 lbs, started having fun and life started to get better. I was more confident and stopped crying and moaning about lack of sex, I just put it out of my mind that I would have sex with wife and all of a sudden I started getting sex? I truly did not understand what was happening until I was Introduced to /r/MarriedRedPill a little over a month ago. I should note, I knew about TRP but thought it was just for single guys gaming women it wasn't until MRP and AskMRP that I really decided to listen.

Progress

Reading: Finished reading MMSLP, currently reading NMMNG and have WISNIFG cued up for after that. Need to put aside more time to read, plan is to stop spending time on reddit reading MRP, etc and put that time towards reading the core material.

Diet and Lifting: Back on Keto, I was 238 lbs last year, down to 190 lbs, 10-15 lbs more to go to lose the flab. I was doing 5x5 but got bored and plateaued so I switched to a Crossfit gym 3-4 times a week. Finally seeing muscle gains in my upper body where I need it.

Work: Getting better, focusing on my job and as a result I am becoming more in demand. Got mentioned by a few VP’s for a job well done which is an improvement over my past just trying to skate under the radar and collect a paycheck. Need to work on delivering what I say I will without reminders and without procrastination.

STFU/Anger: I haven’t totally lost my shit in the past few weeks. I had a few incidents of getting angry and raising my voice but I quickly identified and chilled. Other times I got angry I was able to STFU and walk away. STFU has worked miracles over the past few weeks. I haven’t gotten pulled into arguments that I do not care about, and avoided feeding my wife’s Hamster for the most part.

Decluttering Going to talk to wife’s therapist with her in 2 weeks. At that point in time I am going to bring up a clutter and garbage clear out day. Want to be sure that she has time to work with her Therapist to get some OCD coping mechanism.

Finances Looking for guidance here, I know I need to get to taking over finances but I don’t want to implement too many changes at once. For now the only change I am worried about is the de-cluttering.

Results

This part is validation for me (or anyone else) that RP works and is working. My relationship with my wife and kids is improving drastically. I don't get into stupid arguments with her about shit that is inconsequential. Instead of going back and forth for hours about where to go out for dinner, I just pick a place and let her know what time our reservation is. I thought she would flip out but she didn't, she thinks it's some sort of romantic surprise that I am taking her out somewhere and not telling her where until we get there... Mind Blown I just wanted to avoid the confusion of having her input.

Sex: Talking about Blown, Sex is getting better. Kids were away for an entire week and we fucked every day and twice on Sunday, okay it was twice on Saturday. On the last day that the kids were away, shark week started and she was disappointed, she wanted to end with a big bang so she give me a very lengthy BJ instead.


Post Information
Title Captains Log - 1+ Month
Author CasperTFG_808
Upvotes 11
Comments 12
Date 02 September 2016 09:59 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207137
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/50vr5o/captains_log_1_month/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
WISNIFGhamsterliftthe red pillNMMNG
Comments

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are posting a lot. Did you go and delete some of your posts from like a week ago as well?

askmrp is certainly here to help. But ask yourself if constantly pinging mrp for every question you have is what the captain would do. Start thinking critically. Pick a solution and roll with it and see how it pans out. Then learn from that.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honey I am going to start on taking back the finances to take the pressure off of you........... and lighten your load

NO, your not........

Yes, I earn it and I want to make sure it's allotted properly and I don't want to continue working until I am 90. (you should be working for savings, a lot say impossible, I say it works)

I agree with other response, this should be top priority, it sets the stage for a lot more and gives you absolute clarity as to why you work.

Start fucking cleaning the clutter today. Just do it.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I need to get to taking over finances but I don’t want to implement too many changes at once.

If all else is going well I don't see the hurry. Lots of guys disagree on this point and I may be wrong. Or not. At least start by being a part of it. Review the entire finances/bills with her and go through it line by line. I wouldn't kick her off a job she has done for a long time but that is me.

[–]CasperTFG_808[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm taking in the advise but listening to my gut right now. My gut tells me taking on this challenge today would be nuclear and I'm not at a level to manage that yet.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Go with your gut. You've been married 15 years, plan on a 15 month strategy to bring things in line slowly.

[–]CasperTFG_808[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It really has been working going with my gut, doing what I feel is the right thing to do.

Just today I booked a family vacation without asking for permission or quorum from my wife. All she said was "wow prices are expensive around Christmas, but I can't wait I'm so excited".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fix your money. It's where you start to declutter. Sell her car. Get her the one she earned.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can't keep your harem in line, if you don't have control of the treasury.

[–]ofthehighdesert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't take over the budget and then fuck it up, it only reaffirms that you can't handle it. If you are going to take them over make sure you have that shit on lock. I took over the budget and gave my wife a fairly generous spending amount for the month. It's worked very well so far.

[–]trp_dude0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Need to work on delivering what I say I will without reminders and without procrastination.

Try delivering before the deadline, and more than what you said you will. It will work wonders.



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