I figured I would write a captain’s log, for me to look back on in a few months to laugh at.
Background: Married 15 years, 3 Kids. I haven’t been a captain at all, I was led by my wife from the start. She was the one to ask me out and for 5 of those 15 years I was a drunk (alcoholic) captain. Being an absent captain led to getting exactly what I deserved even though society told me different.
Wife controls everything (I am not kidding myself on this anymore I fully understand that I am currently in her marriage), Sex: Pitty sex 10-20 times a year, her choice of house, cars, Schools, Friends, etc. and here is the best part she manages all the finances even though I am the sole breadwinner. Oh dear lord what a good Cabin Boy I am.
Basically I got what I now realize I deserved and based on the drivel that society told me I felt I should have been happy with that but I wasn't. I did get things of my own to control, things a cabin boy is great at dealing with. I cook all the meals, I have the only money earning job which helps pay for a cleaning lady, full time daycare for our youngest and whatever else my overworked SAHM wife needed. I am now realizing I can’t blame her for not being able to be a Mother and Homemaker because she needed to captain the ship as well.
RP - Before understanding RP
Wasted years in Couples Therapy, and then a few more posting on /r/DeadBedrooms generally wasting time and not applying myself because nothing seemed to be working. Then some things started to work? Some guy in DB suggested I forget about my Wife and sex and start focusing on myself, lift weights, go out make friends. Even if it didn’t fix my marriage at least I would feel better about myself.
I dropped 30 lbs, started having fun and life started to get better. I was more confident and stopped crying and moaning about lack of sex, I just put it out of my mind that I would have sex with wife and all of a sudden I started getting sex? I truly did not understand what was happening until I was Introduced to /r/MarriedRedPill a little over a month ago. I should note, I knew about TRP but thought it was just for single guys gaming women it wasn't until MRP and AskMRP that I really decided to listen.
Reading: Finished reading MMSLP, currently reading NMMNG and have WISNIFG cued up for after that. Need to put aside more time to read, plan is to stop spending time on reddit reading MRP, etc and put that time towards reading the core material.
Diet and Lifting: Back on Keto, I was 238 lbs last year, down to 190 lbs, 10-15 lbs more to go to lose the flab. I was doing 5x5 but got bored and plateaued so I switched to a Crossfit gym 3-4 times a week. Finally seeing muscle gains in my upper body where I need it.
Work: Getting better, focusing on my job and as a result I am becoming more in demand. Got mentioned by a few VP’s for a job well done which is an improvement over my past just trying to skate under the radar and collect a paycheck. Need to work on delivering what I say I will without reminders and without procrastination.
STFU/Anger: I haven’t totally lost my shit in the past few weeks. I had a few incidents of getting angry and raising my voice but I quickly identified and chilled. Other times I got angry I was able to STFU and walk away. STFU has worked miracles over the past few weeks. I haven’t gotten pulled into arguments that I do not care about, and avoided feeding my wife’s Hamster for the most part.
Decluttering Going to talk to wife’s therapist with her in 2 weeks. At that point in time I am going to bring up a clutter and garbage clear out day. Want to be sure that she has time to work with her Therapist to get some OCD coping mechanism.
Finances Looking for guidance here, I know I need to get to taking over finances but I don’t want to implement too many changes at once. For now the only change I am worried about is the de-cluttering.
This part is validation for me (or anyone else) that RP works and is working. My relationship with my wife and kids is improving drastically. I don't get into stupid arguments with her about shit that is inconsequential. Instead of going back and forth for hours about where to go out for dinner, I just pick a place and let her know what time our reservation is. I thought she would flip out but she didn't, she thinks it's some sort of romantic surprise that I am taking her out somewhere and not telling her where until we get there... Mind Blown I just wanted to avoid the confusion of having her input.
Sex: Talking about Blown, Sex is getting better. Kids were away for an entire week and we fucked every day and twice on Sunday, okay it was twice on Saturday. On the last day that the kids were away, shark week started and she was disappointed, she wanted to end with a big bang so she give me a very lengthy BJ instead.