Hi there, I'm really lost right now and could use some advice.
I'm 30 and I lived my whole life as beta. my ideal evening was to get stoned and play some video games. I got married few years ago, with best friend, everything seemed fine, I never thought we have any real issues, 2 years ago we decided to have a child and so we did. fast forward to 2 months ago, my wife told me wants to break up, that she can't see us being happy in the future and that she probably never really loved me, not more than a friend.
my first reaction (ok, not first, my first reaction was my poor son will have divorced parents, same as I had) was that it is actually good, I will finally be able to do what I want and stop pretending I like things I don't like. I saw myself in own apartment, stoned constantly doing what I want.
then, some 2 weeks ago I somehow found out about TRP, started reading and started to realize few things. first was hypergamy and realization that my wife doesn't love me because I'm a beta looser who never achieved anything. second thing was that I wan't to change, I decided to start to work out, be more productive at work and at home. I stopped smoking week completely and stopped playing video games.
on one side I do it because I want to be better man, but on the other side, I somehow believe that if I change my wife will change her mind and we can be again together. please mind, this is not a case of Oneitis, I loved my wife, but I realize she wasn't perfect wife at all. but there is my son, he isn't even 2 years old and I firmly believe that growing up in complete and happy family would be the best for him.
if it wouldn't be for our son, I would just move out and started all over again, but now, I really don't know what to do.
TL;DR: my wife wants to break up, I discovered TRP, but I also want what is best for my 1,5 year old son and I believe that is growing up in a complete family.
thanks for all the answers. I read them all, I read sidebar and I'm already in process of reading No More Mr. Nice Guy. I work out 6 days per week, I started eating healthy and stopped completely with smoking and gaming.
yesterday was first night in last months I slept happy. I realized what are my priorities, my son first and I'm the second. anything else is not important now. it is really strange how much can change in one day. I really don't care now if we break up or not. yea, it will be nice if we work it out together, but if we don't, it is not the end of the world. most important thing for me now is to do everything in my power to make sure my son won't end up like me in 30 years.
once again, thanks everyone.