TLDR: Feels like I am killing it in small ways right now. Am I reading the right signals? Is it possible for wife and family to respond as quickly as they are even after a week of implementing Red pill? Hope I am not fooling myself.

One thing I want to stress to other newbies like me is to pay attention to the little things. The vets here talk a lot about taking it slow. I thought about this and thought it’s a lot like hunting, or taming a wild animal. You can't just start beating the bush or whipping the poor beast. You have to nurture it….and show right/wrong. You have to watch for the little signs off being skittish, of running or even of it falling into your trap.

For the military minded. 6Ps. Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

I am new to actively implementing red pill into my life. In an effort to not gush I will try to bulletize things and add detail only when necessary.

Physical/Spiritual/Me

Monday started with a BANG. the program I am on has me loosing 3 pounds a week for the next 5 weeks. I lost 6 in the first week. Buried it!

Weights are all on the increase….in fact I am passing a Marine Corps Physical fitness test at the 18 year old level (I am 40 by the way). But I still fucking hate running. I don’t think that will ever change.

I am almost done with the RP reading…and some of it twice through. I am humbled, angered, and in awe of the things I knew, forgot, or just plain didn’t realize. How could I be so blind?

Martial arts training. The classes I teach are the most full. In fact some of the other instructors have complained that students are switching to my classes. I took note last night and realized that most of the parents in the gallery during my classes are the moms…..huh. What do you know…..

Career

Weak area. not sure what to do. I am a Federal Employee (a pejorative term I prefer civil servant). I enjoy service. My military background got me this job. I am in the DoD and do Acquisition…weapons development. It can be exciting. The marquis project was reactive armor on armored vehicles but in the last 8 years the job has been pussified and no matter who gets elected I don’t see that getting better. Not sure what to do about it…..benefits and pay is top notch but the work is pathetic. I could make twice what I do if I go to industry…but is it the right time to switch? That and I loose out on my pension I spent 17 years working towards. decisions.

Financial

Clearly my weakest area. I just didn’t give a fuck for 10 years. So I have a mess to clean up. Fortunately I think it’s doable in one year. Time is a son of a bitch.

Sex/Wife/Life In General

Shit tests have significantly dropped. Not sure if there is a causation or correlation thing going on here....

So to follow up from Sunday. Had sex Sunday night in complete cave man. I know that you aren’t supposed to rush it…but…I went with what felt right. Paid off. She whimpered for the first time ever AND….we had to change the sheets. She’s been smiling all week.

Shark week began as well this week and it’s usually hands off but fuck it. She leaves to Friday morning with the kids to ski again. She is usually against cuddling in bed. There are a hundred reasons and the one that didn’t make any sense was that it turned her on ( i Plan on fixing this). But now since this weekend every time I wake up she is entangled in me or touching me in some way. is it possible to have this fast of a response from her?

I plan on a hand job Thursday night. That may be a bridge too far. BUT….at this stage I am not concerned about the goal as much as I am about the journey. A message will be sent that she either deals with me Thursday or….she better watch it when she comes back (and I mean that in a playful way). As far as the journey is concerned. I have been doing every job that comes up. change light bulbs, replace this…replace that. WTF is that dish doing there? Bam…all done. My boys are starting to respond to this as well. Its like marshaling a platoon to battle. Hell yeah. Again is it possible this fast of a response?

I know my wife is lazy. BUT I can’t blame her at this point. It was my fault. I wasn't setting the example. That is changing so I have to be easy and give it time for the fruits of my labor to fulfill. Time will prove this out. I can’t just lay down the fix it or out speech. There has to be a pattern that I can fall back on. That I can point out and say “the standard that…do it”. I can’t do that right now. I am very much flexing my company commander muscles right now. It's all very familiar. very exiting.

Now…I know this is not about getting sex, this is about getting better and not being lazy…which in turn raises my confidence, my attraction. Its all connected but separate yet in order to do it you have to have a goal to shoot for.

I am also kino’ing (a word?) my wife. I took /u/BluePillProfessor advice and watched an hour…well…like 2 hours. Every time I pass her, talk to her, I am touching her in some small way. At least once is in some way I touched her Sunday night….subtly not in a hungry ape way. Once a day I ambush her with a huge kiss…this is somewhat angry..forceful. To send a message. Example: she took a shower yesterday I barged in pulled the curtain back and kissed her. She said we are not having sex. I said, You’re right. Keep it in your pants. Then left.

Last night before bed she was brushing her hair and I asked her about the two loads of laundry piled on the table in the laundry room.

HER I didn’t have time to fold I told you that.

ME: no…you said you did 2 loads. When I did 8 loads Saturday I folded, and put them away. I don’t want them there they need to be put away.
(she also knows in the time I got home that evening while she studied I made dinner, took the kids to boy scouts, taught 2 hours of karate, changed the rear light in her car, cleaned out some debris from the garage and cleaned off snow from the driveway).

HER: Ok ok. They will get put away (we will see tonight).

as she walked by me to her side of the bed I grabbed her to kiss her again (this was reflex I didn’t plan it) She pulled her...ok go ahead look, but again…taking the advice I said no you have to pretend to like it. She did. When I let her go I said the next time it goes longer the more you resist. I kind of regretted saying that…but it just came out. I have got to control this impetuousness

She smiled at me and in a kind of excited voice said what has gotten into you this week.

I look at her and say nothing has gotten into me…it’s whats going to get into you. the look on her face as I turned out the light was awesome.

I went to sleep.

I woke up at some point last night. I rolled over to snuggle up and she said, I had a dream I was yelling at you stop harassing me.

ME: What? I am trying to sleep.

HER: So am I

ME: Then go to sleep.

I woke up for work and she was practically laying on top of me. Actions not words?

Even if Thursday doesn’t go as planned it feel like improvements are being made, things are moving ahead. in other words, near terms goals may not be accomplished but the long range ones are being set up. I don’t know…its a lot like taking pleasure in the little things, in the minutia and the details. Making sure it’s right.

Thoughts? advice?

UPDATE:

I feel like there should be some update to this. Mainly to show that there will be failures, bumps, and obstacles along the path. I am reminded that as men we can go from Hero to Zero pretty damn fast.

The day as fantastic. Wife was very bubbly on texts to me all day. Whoa.

I hit the gym right after work and she is there. Bonus.

The work out was soul crushing. Good...but soul crushing. I am also aware of eyes on me. At this time there are lots of soccer moms in the gym and I am only of like 3 guys. But none are as fit as me. I don't have my glasses on..hate working out with them but I am getting that feeling. I kino the wife a couple times. Purposefully walking across the gym to do it.

We get home she surprises me with one of her impossible schedules of events...mainly 400 things I have to accomplish in an hour. in my drunk captain days I have told her this is bullshit but then go do it. Mostly in a fit of rage. That rage hit me, but i didn't let it out. calmly I tell her this is the last time I do this quick reaction stuff and she needs to plan her day better. i feel good about keeping frame but pissed I have to do this. I don't think I have the right to cut this cold turkey suddenly.

I go upstairs...bingo. Laundry is not only not folded but piled right on top of the bed. I mention it She apologies and says she will do it when she gets home from class. I know this isn't going to happen either. but i have a plan to address it.

I change go do the million tasks in a minute. During my trip the dojo calls. One of the instructors is out can I fill in. Hell yeah I can. Take the kids; teach that night. I also take a minute to try some things out. One of the new students is there and in our style of karate we teach joint manipulation. There are simple things we teach kids to get out of someone's grasp and we often teach the parents in order for them to train at home. It's a good excuse to touch. I go up to the mom. The block of instruction is like 5 minutes but in that 5 minutes she is so bubbly and giggly and tries to keep me engaged, but I have to get back to the floor. I hope her husband thanks me.

About this time I am feeling horrid. I am fighting a head congestion which is also causing vertigo. The gym, the day...it's all building. Get home. Wednesday the kids cook their dinner so they do. I sit down. Next thing I know I am waking up 2 hours later to the wife, home from class, yelling about the house. I am feeling hung over I can barely stand. It's all I can do to hold frame.

She is raging. her dinner isn't made, things are astray....argh. She can make her own dinner, she's a big girl but...damn I am not able to establish my alpha status today. I get up clean up my mess. That's all I can do, I never address the laundry It would have come off as retaliation and I couldn't even frame the conversation in my head..

As I am cleaning up she says "It's ok. I remember when I had that cold. How I felt." But...its how she said it. Snotty and I know she hates it when I am sick...she's admitted to me before she would rather I go live somewhere else when I sick. I am pretty much ignored when I am sick. and when she is sick? AWALT, eh?

Well...I went to bed soon after my mess was cleaned up. It was all I good do to hold frame and get out before I lost my shit. She is pissed I can hear her mumbling downstairs about something. It's her thing. her when she is mad she will have a conversation with herself. Like she is working out what to say.

Hero to Zero gentleman. This morning though wife is pretty bubbly again, but things haven't been addressed. And she has created for herself an impossible schedule for today.