Three months in ...

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December 3, 2015

M 44 here with F 44 wife, married 20 years. I've been lurking here for three months now. Read just about everything, some stuff several times. Implementing IDGAF was easy because I truly didn't GAF.

Before I started my wife had an emotional affair in her own head with a married younger guy and I found out about it - she wrote him a long rambling letter saying that her feelings for him were "just friendly" and it was a shame if other people thought differently - i.e. his wife. It also said about how he was "so attractive" blah blah. I didn't know about this guy, but I suspected something was off, started snooping, and by complete chance found the letter in a file recovery "trash bin" on a cloud storage account she uses. Sex was downhill for years, down to about once every 3 months at the worst times. She was emotionally distant, and a whining demanding bitch. Shit testing was her way of communicating.

I started implementing Red Pill. Before the letter, I somehow thought I "loved" her in some way. After I found the letter I really didn't GAF about her. I still don't. I told her her "best friend" who is 5 years younger than her, hotter and more fun came on to me several times in the past 2 years and I turned her down - which is true. I told her she had to get her shit together as I was done trying to make her happy, I was going to make myself happy from now on as I couldn't make her happy. I told her I was prepared to divorce her if I wasn't happy, and was going to keep score on how happy I was. If it fell below 5, I'm gone. For reference, it was 2 before. We have kids, so for now I want to make it work to some extent.

She has turned around 180 degrees. Now she only ever comfort tests. Shit tests are gone. Sex is whenever I want it, whatever I want. She is WET for me - before lube was needed, not anymore. She has initiated several times, ans wears sexy underwear to bed, where before it was wooly PJs. Now the problem I have is I'm just not that interested in her. She broke something in me that I don't think can be fixed - my beta goggles I suppose. I constantly get smiles and stares from other women, most far hotter than my wife. Before my wife's "friend" was the extent of it, but now it's nearly every woman I meet ! I am really tempted to cheat on her but I guess that's lowering myself to her level. The thing that amazes me most is how she crumbled completely like this ! I am still keeping my eyes open and monitoring everything while giving off the whole "I know it was a one off thing" and "I would never snoop again - privacy is important" vibe. I am self employed so I can easily check out her stories without her knowing and so far everything checks out. She is genuinely making an effort.

Anyway, this is probably much more rambling and uncoordinated than it was meant to be but thought I would share my thoughts and see what you guys think.

Post Information
Title Three months in ...
Author throwawaypille
Upvotes 8
Comments 18
Date 03 December 2015 03:13 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betashit testcomfort testthe red pill

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (12 children) | Copy

I am really tempted to cheat on her but I guess that's lowering myself to her level.

Don't forget your vows and your honor.

Nothing was "broken" but merely damaged.

You can fix it and get the feelings back if that is what you want but it will take some time.

I warn in Chapter 3: Dread and Secondary Selection- that Dread has 2 serious and very negative effects. First your wife can easily 'give up' before you show her the new and improved you. Second, YOU might give up when you realize you really ARE the prize and especially if you start getting IOI's from other women.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm willing to give it a go anyway. Not planning to cheat just yet. Being tempted and actually doing it are quite different.

[–]Kale12340 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Tempting at first but I feel it gets better as you get used to handling the attention and find ways to channel that drive into your own bedroom.

The bright side is, even married, you get to laugh at the awkwardness of some women's pickup lines.

[–]The_Litz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you get to laugh at the awkwardness of some women's pickup lines.

How they try and fish about your marital status is the best

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

On the whole cheating thing, I think if I did do it, I would feel like crap afterwards - but maybe not. I am going to hold off for now as I'm getting lots of sex at home !

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

So let me oversimplify:

You were crap, and you got no sex

She was crap cause she gave you no sex.

You improved. She forgave you. Now she gives you good sex.

She improved. You are not sure if you can forgive her, so you might cheat.

If you are cheating for sex only - makes no sense, cause you are getting sex.

If you are cheating looking for a new relationship, you will feel like crap afterwards. You think you may feel like crap afterwards.

You will get no moralizing from me. But this looks like Simple Circle-jerk thinking to me.

Caution - Once you open the cheating game, it will change everything.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Don't forget your vows and your honor.

Meh, does it solve a problem? Good enough. Those vows lost all value long ago, and the honourable tend to only be reckognized when they put someone else ahead of themselves... The alpha male being first to eat the kill, and the first to be put in front of danger is antiquated IMO

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

She is having sex with him regularly now do you propose to hold a grudge for his blue pill time when she wasn't having sex with him?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

nope, just a pragmatic look at what he wants, and how/if she fits into it. He sounds like he's in a place where he may be able to honestly answer that for himself.

But good point, I've been wrong guys holding grudges before.

[–]0kool74-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Don't forget your vows and your honor.

The dude doesn't need to hear typical VAGINA advice brah. go wipe your ass with that stupid BS!!!!!

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Vaginas know little of vows and nothing of honor.

[–]TheOakenshield5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You said a lot about your wife and how her behavior has changed but I don't see anything about how you've worked on yourself. Sounds like you've gotten good at snooping and focusing on sex. Well done?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mate retention behaviour indeed.

So whats your end goal here? Sounds like you've got you sorted out, are you in a place to start looking at your "where am I in 5 years?" yet? I don't get the impression you find her in it, but you have been vague on how you plan to use that information.

Not sure theres much else to talk about, you've not really given many details about what in your life put her in that place (needing emotional validation) or what you've fixed since then (but the GAF attitude, and you seem to be attractive enough to pickup). What were you hoping to hear?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I actually don't know, I'm at the stage of "I'm here now, what next" I suppose. I think maybe the "where I'll be in 5 years" is the next step. Not looking for pats on the back or whatever.

We both went through some real bad shit that wasn't either of our faults - don't want to expand on it, but was one of those things life can throw at you.

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I felt the same way in the beginning. I don't anymore. It's like the "go fuck ten other women" cure for heartache. Lots of sex makes it better. I don't think your "beta goggles" will be any less broken with the next girl anyway.

And spice it up. Leash and collar, ball gag, princess plug. Anal, deep throat. Get her lifting and dieting. Get her a Brazilian sugaring.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I like this way of thinking. Thanks !

[–]turbosympathique0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have fun! keep thing light, explore some taboo, unleash the slut in your wife!

[–]pullypants0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Look at it this way: you feel now how she felt six months ago. You've just had a power flip, the one who desires the least leads and it's your turn to be on top. With great power comes responsibility, you have to put the effort in. It's harder to be the leader, but ultimately worth the effort.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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