Feel like I'm missing the MRP playbook

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October 29, 2015

I'm somewhat new around these parts and feel like I'm picking up information in a non-linear way. After just finding the dread levels today, I realized I must have missed something.

I've read No More Mr. Nice Guy, The Way of Men, and I'm working through The Rational Male Year One in the sidebar. I've read most of the top threads here a few times. I still feel like I don't understand frame, and just overall feel like I'm missing a key playbook page.

Is there somewhere I should be looking or something I should be reading that I missed that will explain more of the lingo and basic principles I need to get started? Finding the Dread Levels was huge for me.

Post Information
Title Feel like I'm missing the MRP playbook
Author its-iceman
Upvotes 7
Comments 18
Date 29 October 2015 07:16 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207954
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3qqq49/feel_like_im_missing_the_mrp_playbook/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gameframeNMMNG

[–]rurpe4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

For beginners, frame is simply having standards and enforcing them

"I will go to the gym 3 times a week, even if it is inconvenient"

"I will read x book by next monday"


Once you establish your standards with yourself, you can enforce standards with other people and then they will be living in your "frame"

"Fuck me or fuck off"

"Do not talk to me that way"

"You are being disrespectful and I will not put up with it" and then do something about it

Your outward frame is only effective if your inward frame is solid




[–]its-iceman1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks /u/rurpe, appreciate the specifics man.

On the larger issue, should I just read the entire TRM site?

[–]rurpe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Give it some more time and then reread. You may pick up on things you missed the first time after you know a bit more.

Frame is confusing because there is no one definition, it is an idea about how to conduct yourself. You probably came here because you have a wife who doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated. All of trp is about setting up your frame so that you can have the life you want on your terms.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

À caveat, for the last part, don't tell them you aren't putting up with it anymore, but you show them.

For a new guy, saying it will be taken as a bluff, and you'll have to follow through anyways

[–]rurpe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

true true

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Your second round of frame quotes aren't very meaningful imo. For big issues, sure, but that comes up rarely.

Most of the time, frame is you doing what you want to do and being perfectly comfortable with that, the consequences and how it inconveniences others; you don't ask your wife where she wants you to order food from, you don't ask her permission to go out, when she questions your decisions you don't feel the need to explain or refute her but just tease her or give some cocky selfcentered reason.

[–]rurpe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your second round of frame quotes aren't very meaningful imo. For big issues, sure, but that comes up rarely.

I would imagine that most men on here are trying to fix the big issues without realizing that they are a direct result of multiple small issues. The purpose of my post was to help them understand that if you want to go to round two, you must do round 1.

[–]mrpCamper3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you should read (MMSLP) Married Mans Sex Life Primer and it will get you a good foundation. The way of men is a great book but is more of a second tier book that helps you put masculinity into perspective. NMNNG is also a great book on assertiveness but this is a whole lot deeper than that. NMMNG will help you implement what you learn you need to do in MMSLP.

Frame can best be thought of as frame of mind. A totally non MRP related example. If you believe you can jump 100 feet across a chasm and you are getting ready to jump and someone is trying to psyche you out of it, "You can't do it." You're gonna plummet to the bottom and die." You need to hold your frame of mind that you can do it. Adapt that into your wife nagging you about why you forgot to leave the toilet seat down. You're awesome and above having someone give you shit about a toilet seat. now the toilet seat conversation can go one of two ways...

Her: "Why is the toilet seat up again?" You Losing frame: "What the fuck woman, just put it down." Her: "you're a lazy fat bum!"

Or.... Hold frame... Her: "Why is the toilet seat up again?" You holding frame: [Ignore] continue to do what you were doing without acknowledging the disrespect. If you can look over at her make eye contact take a sip of coffee and go back to reading the paper at the kitchen table, even better.

Her: puts the toilet seat down and pees.

This is why STFU is recommended so often. It keeps you from going into her frame. Eventually you want to learn to pull her into your frame. But let's learn to walk before run.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The 12 stages of dread is mandatory reading. I think it's not in the prerequisites for two reasons. First, /u/BluepillProfessor is a mod and doesn't want to toot his own horn. Second, guys who still have a victim mindset and haven't taken responsibility for their situation might jump to active dread before they have developed the insight to realize that they're at Stage 1. We want to give guys the tools to build the best marriages for them, not blow them up and push them to divorce.
MMSLP and WISNIFG are listed as prerequisites in MRP for good reason. If you have no problem being assertive and advocating for yourself then you might defer WISNIFG until a bit later. The whole MRP sidebar is worth reading.
It isn't a linear progression because the Red Pill as a whole isn't an ideology or a sequence of procedures despite how it comes across in the 12 stages of dread. It's a collection of tools and observations that can help you to get what you need out of your relationships and to become the best version of yourself. The specific tools used and the implementation will depend on your own circumstances.
The main TRP sub has some good content in the sidebar as well. Be patient, keep reading, and ask questions in askmrp if anything doesn't make sense.

[–]its-iceman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, even knowing that it's not linear is helpful. I'll just keep learning.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is definitely not a linear curve. The reason we use the Matrix analogy is because it is exactly like that for many guys. One day you wake up and realize that you have been asleep and everything was right in front of you the entire time.

Also: BPP's Podcast on Frame.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

And then you learn kungfu

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yep, then you realize you don't even need to dodge the bullets anymore.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can't wait for december professor. you better get your book out before GLO does

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think learning about the strategies to pass shit tests is like learning kung fu, and just having a strong frame that is an integral part of you is like not needing to doge bullets.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey, being new is fine, we've all been there. And I know what you mean about lingo etc, but I guess it's just one of those things you'll pick up by lurking more. The important thing to know as a new guy is that there is no rush. Take your time, read as much as you can possibly cram in between lifting weights and shutting up, instead of victim puking on your wife (we've all been there).

If you go down this road, know that it has no end. It's not something you'll dabble in and then stop doing at some point. You'll be making positive, long lasting changes to your life and your approach to living. There isn't really a play book, per se, because it's your life, and nobody is gonna tell you how to live it. As a man, you are on your own in the world: there is no wing to shelter under for you. However, in here (and on /r/marriedredpill) , you'll find literally thousands of like minded men at various stages in the same journey. Take your time to acclimatise, and don't try to rush the changes you will make. It's the rest of your life you are taking about, not just "what will I do this weekend"

[–]itsgavinc0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your frame will be a direct offspring of how you want to live your life. You recognize your passions, talents, ambitions and desires, and then conduct yourself in a manner that will allow you to pursue and achieve those outcomes.

Frame is your speech, your actions, your appearance (dress and body shape), your knowledge. When those items fail to be aligned with your vision, you have not held frame.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The main TRP sub sidebar is what you're missing. Start here.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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