"The Tyranny of the Home-Cooked Family Dinner" - thoughts??

theartnomad · 2018-04-10T22:33:00+00:00

Omg can’t believe someone actually sat down and wrote that crap.

Firstly, the article brings up extremes (such as the woman living in a cockroach infested hotel room), which is fine, but she is probably not a member of the target audience for the ‘home cooked meal’ campaigns, and also an outliar.

Secondly, we all know cooking at home is cheaper than eating out or ordering take out. £60-£70 (don’t know what the equivalent would be in dollars) covers mine and my boyfriends shop for a week and that includes breakfast, lunch and dinner for 7 days and all planned snacks. So up to £10 per day for two people. And we don’t even shop at the cheapest places, could probably take this amount down to £40-£50 if we wanted. The cheapest take out here is probably basic McDonald’s, where you’re looking at about £3-£4 per meal per person, so £24 a day for both of us for just main meals (no snacks included). Surely people who can’t afford fresh produce to cook with, definitely can’t afford to eat take out instead.

It also mentions money as an obstacle to having a ‘proper kitchen’ and keeping pests at bay. I normally hate the ‘but people in Africa...’ type arguments, but there are places in the world where people cook on a heated rock, without running water, and with tools that are not as sharp as they could be. In the western world you can get basic utensils very cheaply these days, so this really is a non argument.

Time consumption wise... There are plenty of 10-15 minute homemade meals out there, and a lot that require maybe 10 minutes prep that you then just leave to cook or roast in the oven while you get on with other stuff. It takes the same amount of time if not longer to go out and get food from a take away. Also, you can batch cook and freeze recipes for the week on one day, which is a huge time saver.

I understand people have different schedules and it is not always possible to have set meal times, but it takes just a little bit of foresight to cook a bit extra earlier in the week and save it in the fridge to reheat on a busy day when the family can’t get together.

Now, fussy eaters are slightly different, I agree that it could be difficult if your husband loves meat but kid won’t touch it, however honestly, when I was little, if you didn’t eat what was put on your plate, you didn’t eat. You caught on quickly as a child. My SO isn’t particularly fussy, but if I make something and he doesn’t like it (and it’s not a dislike he’s alerted me to before, if I know he won’t like something I don’t make it), he just goes and makes himself something else.

Lastly, I hate that this article states that health might not be worth the trade off for all the stress caused by home cooking. In the long term, very little is worth more than your health (and your loved ones), so that really irks me about this article.

Overall, I feel like it was written purely to provide people with an excuse to be lazy and revert to bad habits. I don’t think any of the points it makes are correct, and that therefore it’s very misleading - it makes me sad that someone might give up Home cooking because of reading it.

The one point I agree with is that if both partners work a lot and contribute financially, that the woman shouldn’t be the only one doing the cooking (or housework), but if she’s struggling and it really is becoming stressful to cook, she should just ask for help with cooking or ask her SO or kids to help with other chores. I don’t believe giving up cooking completely is the answer - where there is a will, there is a way ;)

GratefulWifeandMama · 2018-04-11T01:31:23+00:00

OH I have thoughts!! I cook at least one meal a day for my family, often three. If cooking is so stressful to you that fast food is a better option you are doing something (probably a few things) very, very wrong. I feed a family of 4 on $120 a week and none of us have food related health problems or are over eaters. Produce can be expensive (something something millennials, avocado toast) but meat is by far the most expensive thing I buy. And a bunch of ingrates? Who talks about their family that way? This whole piece is basically trash.

Meal planning, portion control, cooking basic foods, all these things cut costs. I think the main reason that having a "home cooked" meal is important is because it is a shared meal at HOME. Heating up some premade soup and toasting some bread in the oven takes almost no time but is a lot more comforting psychologically (I think) than hitting up Wendy's. But sharing is really the key factor. And as far as cooking being too stressful thus not worth your health?? Like u/theartnomad said, very little is worth more than your health and your loved ones health. Being overweight is so much more stressful than meal planning. I've totally been there!! Keeping pests at bay is mainly a fallacy in my country unless your land lord is a slum lord. I could go on but its all been said. This is all ridiculous.

dashdotdott · 2018-04-10T22:36:57+00:00

Turtles are great

Ariel125 · 2018-04-10T23:10:36+00:00

I have dinner ready in 15 minutes or less every night (we are generally low carb). Throw steaks in a pan, or chicken/fish in the oven. Throw a bag of steamer veggies in the microwave. Done.

The carb is what dirties a pot and takes the longest to cook.

[deleted] · 2018-04-11T00:42:27+00:00

time pressures, tradeoffs to save money, and the burden of pleasing others make it difficult for mothers to enact the idealized vision of home-cooked meals

the problem here in my mind is that they're seeking an all-or-nothing solution. maybe a full-time working mother can't realistically cook a roast dinner for her vegetarian husband and 12 celiac children every night of the week, but that doesn't mean you just opt out altogether. stop striving for ideal, and do the best you can. simple, healthy, cheap meals are a thing!

even in my position where we have no children and i work from home a lot of the time, i keep a freezer full of healthy, home cooked options for the nights we run out of time or just cbf. if you're time poor like me, just make double every time you do cook and freeze half. the only time we get takeaway is on the rare occasion we feel like something bad or if my husband's got friends over and they want a pizza. still, though, i'm often finding that the guys would rather pop one of my homemade pies in the oven than order a crappy pizza.

for the money-poor, unless you're borderline homeless i can't imagine a scenario where eating fast food is going to be cheaper that doing up some rice and veggies at home.

not having children i might be overstepping the mark here, but surely if your kids are whiny and picky over food that's on you to make sure they just eat it? when i was a child there was no "oh i don't liiiiike that, make me something else" going on. mum made dishes that her and my dad liked, and we just ate what we were given. i certainly won't be making a different meal for every member of the family once our kids come along! if your husband's an "ingrate who would rather just be eating fast food anyway", well, that's on you too.

it's just a pack of excuses to justify this woe-is-me, being a woman is so haaaard mentality. learn to cook. teach your kids to cook. it's not that complicated!

uff i'm in a mood. need coffee.

IronMeltsinmyHands · 2018-04-11T00:39:58+00:00

I feel this person has a major lacking in decision making skills. It’s like the anxiety I felt when I worked in sales. I could’ve sold a lot by being aggressive. But I felt I might be taking money from people who couldn’t afford what I was selling. So I sucked as a salesman.

gabilromariz · 2018-04-10T22:15:12+00:00

I can empathize with the low income part. It's definitely gotta be tricky to try and cook from scratch when you can barely afford the basics.

Cooking is also something a lot of people just don't flat out enjoy. One of my mom's friends switched to basically all frozen meals like lasagna or whatever and it made her and her family's life easier and happier.

As far as the picky thing goes, I don't know. My husband can't cook much but if he doesn't like what I've made, he just makes himself a sandwich. It doesn't offend me. I guess I'd be bothered if he demanded I cook something different. That's not home cooked dinner's fault though.

drops_of_Sunshine · 2018-04-11T02:54:42+00:00

Typical feminist: writes about a "problem" but never offers a solution. They just love to moan. How annoying. I'd go on but I need to stir the stew for tonight's dinner. ;)

gabilromariz · 2018-04-11T09:19:31+00:00

This entire article is just a bunch of lame excuses to be lazy.

erratic work schedules, making it impossible to have set meal times

A home made meal can be done in 15-20 minutes - less time than going to a takeout place, waiting in line for a while and then waiting for your food for another while. And like others have already said you can meal prep if you really cannot manage to cook on time.

Low-income women often don't have the money for fresh produce

I'm a dirt poor student and I have money to buy and eat some fresh vegetables daily, with meat (the real expense of home cooked meals) 2 or 3 times a week. That's on a budget of €120 a month, or €4 a day, which could easily be cut down to under €100 if I planned better and cut out snacks and the occasional splurge. If you cook for an entire family you could even cut down the costs per person because buying things in bulk is generally much cheaper.

I don't get why people think cooking meals at home is that expensive. If you can regularly feed your family takeout you're not as poor as you think you are. Part of the reason why I always cook myself is because takeout is literally a luxury that I cannot afford, even at the cheapest place I know I cannot get even one proper meal that's within my budget for the entire day.

can't afford “basic kitchen tools like sharp knives, cutting boards, pots and pans"

To be able to cook you truly need exactly one cutting board, one large knife, a knife sharpener to keep it sharp, and maybe 4 different pans. You can buy that for under 50 bucks if you go to the cheapest places where you buy them new, 20 or less if you get everything from a second hand store. You earn that money back in a week of not serving your family fast food.

It's [...] often done for a bunch of ingrates who would rather just be eating fast food anyway

If your family rather eats fast food than a home cooked meal your cooking probably sucks. Home made pizza is cheaper and much tastier than takeout if you know how to do it. Home made oven fries with herbal seasoning beat even the best takeout fries, and it's very easy to do. Really just about any homemade variety of food that can be bought as takeout is better because takeout is often either very bland or it lacks the richness in flavor of homemade food.

Also who on earth talks about their family like that? If they're really that horrible maybe the person who wrote that should have a long and hard look at how she (assuming it's a she) contributed to that problem.

WonderfulandValuable · 2018-04-11T14:28:27+00:00

That reads like a drug induced vision.

One thing that always frustrates me is the fact that my SO is a picky eater. He has no medical issues just does not want to eat cabbage in any form, complains if there is onion anywhere near his food, potatoes are "too plain unless it is a sweet potato" etc. I was raised way differently, I had to eat what was standing on the Table or lay in the fridge.

[deleted] · 2018-04-12T23:38:10+00:00

I think the only truth in this article is that some women DO feel really pressured by some Pinterest ideal of what family dinner should look like, and they drive themselves crazy trying to achieve an impossible goal.

I almost always cook dinner (and breakfast) but it's often a simple meal. And I'm not going to lie, my kids aren't perfect and they do complain about having to eat their spinach. And we don't always look camera-ready. For me, it's obvious that I should cook dinner because it's what my mother did too. So those imperfections don't get in my way. But I can see how, if you didn't grow up with it, the idea of home cooking could be intimidating.

Title	"The Tyranny of the Home-Cooked Family Dinner" - thoughts??
Author	Zombies_InTheSnow
Upvotes	20
Comments	20
Date	April 10, 2018 9:06 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/8bbem5/the_tyranny_of_the_homecooked_family_dinner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/the-tyranny-of-the-home-cooked-family-dinner.208548 https://theredarchive.com/post/208548

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