People talking badly of me because of showing affection to fiancé

gabilromariz · 2017-03-08T22:06:24+00:00

It is definitely unprofessional behaviour and plain inappropriate for the office. Although I must say the other women's response is also unprofessional. I'd say keep it to outside the office only.

For example, I would be very unconfortable working in an office with a couple with such behaviour. Not out of jealousy, but it's just too personal, especially given that the other co-workers aren't your friends. It's highly unprofessional and keep in mind other people may be very unconfortable with displays of affection, keep them to yourselves

Also, it shouldn't take a complaint from upstairs to change your behaviour.

You can probably keep up the romance with playful secret notes and such, but a backrub at the office is just NO NO NO

StingrayVC · 2017-03-08T22:27:40+00:00

You're at work. I think the affection is inappropriate. That doesn't mean you should ignore him or pretend you're not engaged, but that you keep being warm and friendly in an appropriate fashion.

I wouldn't want to see that at my work.

pandasphere · 2017-03-08T21:59:03+00:00

Speaking as a manager, I think the snacks and physical affection aren't all that appropriate for the workplace unless both of you are on break. Not enough for your supervisors to pull you aside and say something, but not strictly kosher either since you two are technically coworkers.

[deleted] · 2017-03-08T22:34:03+00:00

You'll never be able to improve your image in the eyes of those bent on being unhappy. Women gossiping and being two-faced should not be a surprise to you.
Work places should be professional. Especially if this a medium to large company - you need to behave in a manner appropriate to the environment. During lunch, or parties, or after work - smooch away. During hours, just talk to him and leave notes. You should not be displaying pda and physical intimacy (kissing, hand holding, hugging). You are going to be married, and live together (if you aren't already) - you can leave the lip-locking at the door.

[deleted] · 2017-03-08T22:57:34+00:00

Yowza! That is inappropriate office behavior and incredibly unprofessional no matter how cute. Maybe hat flies in your workPLACE but it certainly doesn't in the larger workWORLD. Catty coworkers and office politics are best ignored (rise above), but your behavior is inappropriate at best and I wouldn't be shocked if you got a talking to at your annual review

[deleted] · 2017-03-09T01:46:58+00:00

2) Is showing light affection such as a kiss on the head or bringing him snacks and hugging him/massaging his neck making me look back?

Yes. Completely inappropriate and weird for the workplace.

proprioceptor · 2017-03-08T22:01:38+00:00

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with what you're doing, but if you're doing these things every single time you walk by his desk it might be a little over the top.

How does your fiance feel about it?

[deleted] · 2017-03-09T01:48:06+00:00

I haven't read all the other comments but I'm guessing they say "chill the fuck out in your office". I cannot imagine the horror you make this guy feel all day long in front of his peers.

Stop it right now. Treat him as a respected colleague and peer and leave your sexual relationship outside the door. You cannot act like this in a professional setting anyways - if gender wars didn't exist and we all pretended we were actually equal, you'd be sexually harassing him!

Chill!

Cathy_Catherine · 2017-03-10T14:13:17+00:00

My husband and I worked together for a while and kept things very professional. So professional, that while people knew that we were both married, they were shocked to find out we were married to each other!

We might have over done the professionalism, but seeing as he was my superior, we chose to err on the side of caution. That said, we were still affectionate, but not obviously so. I'd write him little notes, he'd give me certain looks, etc. I got NO special treatment from him. If anything, he held me to a higher standard. This might be something to keep in mind if you're promoted above him.

Bringing him snacks and the like is one thing; I'd draw the line at anything physical though. Because you two are a couple, something nonsexual that could happen between two other co-workers (like a back rub) instantly becomes charged for you guys.

I hope my experience here helps you out!

[deleted] · 2017-03-13T04:13:01+00:00

Chilli with all the touching and kissing. Give him a little saucy wink when the walk past - Slip a little "Just you wait until we get home" note in with his lunch when you drop it off.., build anticipation for when you're alone.

Title	People talking badly of me because of showing affection to fiancé
Author	Littlewifey
Upvotes	10
Comments	26
Date	March 8, 2017 9:44 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/5yauw8/people_talking_badly_of_me_because_of_showing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/people-talking-badly-of-me-because-of-showing.209060 https://theredarchive.com/post/209060

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