RPW THEORY AT WORK

PhantomDream09 · 2016-08-26T02:37:31+00:00

There are many ladies here that have highly demanding jobs, are business owners, and navigate competitive fields of work. Efficient is good - but not if you're a cold fish in the process. You don't have to be a wilting flower, or a spineless dolt. Feminine does not mean incapable, unproductive etc. Knowing how to handle people requires lots of different skills.

How do you go about getting things done? Are you assigning tasks and projects to women that are your peers? Telling someone to do something as though you have authority over them isn't going to engender a cooperative spirit or earn you a lot of social currency to work with. Do you take time to invest and get to know the people you interact with closely? You may see yourself as a self-starting, efficiency torpedo - but are taking care to thank and give credit to those that help? Are there things the other women in the office do that you opt out of because you think it's a waste of time? You're not just dealing with work, you're dealing with the female social matrix and work. There are a lot of moving pieces, and you can't just power walk your way through a crowded room and expect people to ignore the toes you step on in pursuit of whatever goal(s) you have deemed most important.

It's not easy, and you don't have to be friends with everyone, you do have to know how to work with people though. I'm a small business owner, some customers are far easier (and more pleasant) to work with than others, but the bottom line is that I have to deliver a product that meets their needs if I want to keep an account. Professional success requires more than simply getting things done - it's how you get things done, and the impressions you create along the way. There have been times where the client is clearly the one that dropped the ball or made a sizable error - but I know it's far better in the long run to downplay the mistake, work harder to make up for it (thus minimizing their embarrassment and making them look good to the people they report to in the process). I never adopt an 'I'm in charge' demeanor...even when I am in charge. Part of it is luck - that my personality and my career blend well together...but I've also had to do my share of learning and adapting.

I just really need to clarify here that "self-starter" is in no way at odds with or counter to being RP as a woman.

You may have more success if you can show these other women how getting more done actually benefits them. It could just be that you give the impression that you're too good/better than them...as opposed to someone that actually values their effort and recognizes the contributions of others.

It's hard to say one way or the other what specifically is going on without hearing more details. Work environments can be difficult to navigate.

Below is a comment I shared recently, it quotes an old post written by a long standing member RPW.

/u/tryanotherjuan is a fantastic member of the community with a highly demanding/successful career. She hasn't been active in quite some time (she reconnected with a dear friend from college, they had an LDR for a short-while before getting engaged. I remember all the conversations the IRC had with her starting from when she was single, to reconnecting with this man and trying to figure out if she should or shouldn't try to pursue the opportunity to connect with him, and her updates over the subsequent months). She wrote from time to time about this very topic, and I will quote/format one thread she submitted below for you to review.

Two years ago and before I swallowed the Red Pill, I left a job in marketing to become an executive assistant for an Oil and Gas company. When I first took the job I was a bit hesitant. I had a terrible attitude and thought, “I’m smart; I have a college degree; I shouldn’t be assisting anyone.” But, it seemed like a good opportunity to learn the business and I would have exposure to executives who could potentially place me in management roles in the future.

I couldn’t be happier with my decision to become an assistant. Ultimately, I would like to stay home and support my family. But for now, I’m single. So I’m taking advantage of my time at work to practice what it means to be a good first mate.

I am writing this because I hope it will help other girls see how they can apply Red Pill principles to their daily life, even if they aren’t in a relationship yet. I have learned a lot by reading this sub over the last several months and I’m still learning. I’m not perfect by any means, but these are the things I’m focusing on at work to cultivate my femininity and grow as a Red Pill Woman.

Here’s what I’m working on:

Look to serve. My job is to add value to my boss’s work day. Sometimes this translates to small, unglamorous tasks like running to the deli for lunch or preparing coffee. Sometimes I’m asked to work on larger, challenging projects like coordinating an office remodel or planning a conference overseas. No matter the task, I always attempt to do my best and do it with a smile. If I can anticipate his needs and find ways to make my boss’s life easier without him having to specifically ask, even better.

Be Pleasant. I interact with a lot of people throughout the day. I always make an effort to pleasant and be polite. I am constantly interrupted by sales calls, colleagues who need something and clients. Sometimes I’m stressed and busy, but I try to smile, listen and help as best I can, with a good attitude. I took it as a huge compliment when my boss told me during my review that he enjoyed working with me because I was always pleasant and eager to help. Executives have high-pressure jobs, so I try to decrease that stress with a calm, pleasant demeanor.

Always Represent my Boss Well and Speak Highly of Him. I have access to my boss’s email and so I often have the inside scoop on things at the office. I keep my mouth shut. People try to weasel information out of me, but I am a vault. Coworkers often feel the need to “vent” about their colleagues. I get frustrated at times too, but I would never vent or say anything negative about my boss to anyone at the company. I respect him and speak highly of him to others. I think it goes back to the thinking that if a man’s wife doesn’t respect him, why should anyone else? Likewise, if an assistant doesn’t respect her boss, why should his direct reports?

NO NAGGING. My boss has a lot on his plate. He will get to something when he can. Sometimes there are only so many hours in a day and he has to set his priorities. HIS priorities, not mine. I do not nag. If I need something signed, we have a system. If he needs to make a decision, I will ask at a good time for him. If he chooses to rearrange his schedule and this is inconvenient to me, I roll with the punches.

Office Mom I am often the one to plan events, cook for office pot lucks, order catering and send flowers if someone has a loss in the family. Sometimes I pick up and clean up around the office. Instead of viewing these as menial tasks that are beneath me and my college degree, I see them as an opportunity to serve. It’s nice knowing that people now come to me when they want to acknowledge the birth of a baby, celebrate a retirement or plan a business dinner.

Be feminine to Get Things Done. I could be a shrew and bully people into getting things done or I can be feminine and get results. An example: I need a heavy piece of furniture moved. I could say, I’m just as strong as any man around here and attempt to move it myself. I could nag until someone takes care of it. Or I could appeal to the two men in their 30s down the hall, saying “You boys are much stronger than I am and I’m wearing high heels, when you have a minute, would you please help me move this desk?” They are eager to help and happy to do it again the next time I ask.

Dress the Part. Wrap dresses, pencils skirts and high heels are my uniform. I try to look polished and put together to make a good impression and gain the respect of my colleagues. I’m often asked to represent my company at charity events and fundraisers. Although I don’t have the means to bid on many of auction items or make large donations, I like to think I keep getting invited because I’m pleasant to be around and dress the part.

At the end of the day, I guess there is a little dread game. I must add value to my boss or lose my job. I’ve also discovered I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder. I really enjoy the supporting role, but I just never felt like that I had option. As a strong student, I was always pushed toward medicine, a law degree or another challenging career field. I was made to feel that I was wasting my potential if I didn’t pursue a challenging career path. Any career path can be challenging. A job is what you make of it. I’m glad to have RPW because I feel like it’s okay if you want to stay home to raise a family and it’s okay to be a first mate.

How can you practice femininity at school or at work?

Word of Caution: I’m a tall, blonde, 27-year-old. Although my boss is a man of the highest integrity, it would be easy for people to make assumptions about how I got the job and how I keep it. I think it’s important to establish clear boundaries from the beginning. Many boundaries my boss and I have established are unspoken, but still important. I don’t ever close the door if we are in the office alone. We almost never work late together, my boss prefers to come in early. I’m pleasant and can crack a joke, but not flirtatious. We don’t travel together. I often text/ email him reminders but we always keep it just about business. Most importantly, I’ve established a good relationship with his wife. I believe people respect me and I hope that respect translates to more respect for him as an executive of our company.

FlowersAndPetals · 2016-08-26T02:03:33+00:00

In some work settings acting feminine is not optimal. I have several people working as subordinates to me and I have to act in a way that commands respect to maintain efficiency. If you have the luxury of acting feminine, I would say it is in your best interest if you are trying to attract a mate.

BellaScarletta · 2016-08-26T02:54:30+00:00

First and foremost, I defer to nobody but my superiors, particularly not out of a false sense of "being feminine".

That being said, I avoid being confrontational, and I'm quick to ask myself "what do I have to gain here?" The answer is most usually "nothing". In these situations, I immediately bow out and avoid unnecessary back and forths. One of the most common things I say at work is "I don't have a dog in this fight". As an example, I'll pitch an idea and someone doesn't like some aspect of it; they pussyfoot around hurting my feelings, but really my idea was for the benefit of the team - not myself. I just announce that it's not my dog and if the team doesn't like it, then let's move along - I don't have anything to gain whether they use my idea or not.

No office drama, or whatever can be avoided. Especially hard in my workplace (sadly). I have two people I feel comfortable exchanging information with to keep my ear to the ground, but gossip is a hard and fast "no".

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to step out of your feminine box and curb stomp someone - do it.

LauraXVII · 2016-08-26T08:09:56+00:00

My Mum rambled on about the whole bossy thing and my counter argument was that no, guys who are bossy wouldn't be called bossy, they'd be called an asshole/wanker/twat etc. Bossy is not the same as being a strong leader. You can be a strong leader without rudely ordering people around - Bill Gates imo would be a strong leader without being bossy, Elon Musk is a strong leader and bossy, and he's been publicly called all of the above insults by previous employees.

Women are jealous. I'm an engineer, I'm also small and blonde and have a strong love of everything pink. I have a plastic tiara that my supervisor got for my birthday on my desk. The only hassle/disapproving looks I get are from women - the guys never say anything and if it is, it's a joke about how if I lost something they'd know it was mine cos it's pink. From women I've got "unprofessional" and "childish". It's sad but even at an engineering firm, which is patriarchy central apparently, the people who are holding back women being regarded as equals are other women.

delores_rose · 2016-08-26T04:36:08+00:00

All of these ladies have given you great advice, and options to consider. Working with mostly females has been difficult for me in the past; they either resented me for being more professional and driven, or didn't like me when I was friendly but quiet, refusing to contribute to the gossip mill.

For dealing with personality conflicts in the workplace, I highly recommended the book "Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry" by Albert J. Bernstein. It definitely helped me learn to have better working relationships with these women by giving me a greater understanding of their individual personalities.

nouvelle_rouge · 2016-10-09T01:55:39+00:00

So glad I read this! I just wanted to say I work with mostly females, as well. And yeah, I know my post is kind of about applying the red pill guy's perspective sometimes at work, but I definitely use some rpw tactics as well- like I know my place, don't really delegate tasks, and I definitely don't nag- I like what's quoted in the top comment here on this post.

I've recently figured out that working with all women can just...really cause some drama. I try to distance myself from it, but sometimes it's hard. Recently on a busy day when we were all swamped, this one lady went up to my coworker and said "xxx said that she was doing all of the work while everyone else is online shopping." This really pissed everyone off (incuding me!) because everyone had been working really hard all day. xxx figured out everyone was kind of acting mean to her, so she asked me "did I do anything to offend someone?" I said "I don't think so" because I just really really really didn't want to get into it. Then she went into the break room and asked my coworker "Did I say something to offend you" and she said "yeah" and told her what the lady told her. Then she goes "oh wow she totally turned it around. I was telling her how happy I was that everyone was working so hard, trying to imply to her that she should work a little harder."

If you can't really follow that, it's ok. The point was that there were two ladies in their 40s with completely contradicting stories about what one of them said to the other, and it was just a total she said/she said thing and it was just so tense until everyone in the break room hashed it out. OMG. so stressful. The best thing to do is just try not to involve yourself and try to be liked by everyone.

Title	RPW THEORY AT WORK
Author	QueenBee126
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	August 26, 2016 1:53 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4zm75b/rpw_theory_at_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/rpw-theory-at-work.209645 https://theredarchive.com/post/209645

Comments