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Camille11325
[–]CoochQuarantine 10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This book realllllyyy brought me and my so closer. When we first started dating I'd buy him small things that were extremely thoughtful. I have a gift for that (whoa I'm killing it with the puns here lately lol). Well after I'd give them to him he'd be like 'thanks' then totally forget ab it. I'd be so frustrated. Like why doesn't he care. But after reading this I began to notice that what he really appreciated were acts of service. Me making him coffee or his lunch or folding his laundry would garner so much appreciation from him. And these aren't things he can't do for himself. the first time he came to my house right after work and I was cooking for the two of us he had that wonderful deer in the headlights look of his face that I love so much. He was like 'youre cooking... for me??' Smooches were given by the thousands that night lol. It's just learning about how other people give and receive love. I needs words of affirmation so I know to show him how much I appreciate when he says sweet things to me. I make a big deal out of it. So he knows I love that.
[–]Trauma_Burn_RNEarly 20s / Married 1.5 yr / Together 36 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I love these. As part of marriage couseling, we had to read and discuss this. Husband was reluctant to take it seriously at first because he thought it was stupid and cliche, but it actually gave us both a lot of insight into what we do for each other. We both were trying to project our own love languages onto each other - I was doing acts of service for him, and he was buying (extravagant) gifts for me, when in actuality we should have had them reversed!
I've been making an effort to buy him frequent, thoughtful gifts, and tell him how wonderful he is (words of affirmation is his #2), and he makes it obvious that that makes him happy, which is my number one goal!
[–]Irisandoleander 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We both were trying to project our own love languages onto each other - I was doing acts of service for him, and he was buying (extravagant) gifts for me, when in actuality we should have had them reversed!
This seems to be very common. We do what we want done to us but we don't think about how they may want it. For example I don't care for having my back kissed when we snuggle but he likes it. So he does it to me all the time. (Eek no!) So I asked "why do you keep doing it when I told you that's not something I like" he just said I think it's nice. Ohhhhh so you want ME to do it haha
[–]littleteafox3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My score:
11 Physical Touch 7 Quality Time 6 Receiving Gifts 5 Acts of Service 1 Words of Affirmation
I need to get my SO to try this :) It would be interesting to see what his results were.. though I suspect Physical Touch would be high on his list as well.
[–]tintedlipbalm1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My SO and I also have physical touch and quality time as the top ones!
[–]chairman_mau5 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm currently reading this book, and definitely recommend it to everyone! It has been nothing but insightful and helpful. I'm really looking forward to incorporating the things that I've learned. If you're worried about your SO not wanting to read it or take a quiz to find their love language, you should still take a look at it!
[–]Borsao662 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For anyone interested in taking the quiz:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
[–]prairieflowerEarly 30's, married 10+ yrs0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Finding out about Love Languages really helped me stop wasting my time doing things that weren't appreciated by my husband because it wasn't his Love Language, and start doing things that were.
My number one is quality time followed closely and evenly by gifts, words of affirmation and touch, acts of service being last. My husband is acts of service first and quality time last.
It took me a long time to figure out why he didn't respond to my surprise gifts, notes, backrubs, or praise. I would have never considered that making his meals and keeping him in clean clothes was what he actually appreciated most. Now I know!
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[–]CoochQuarantine 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Trauma_Burn_RNEarly 20s / Married 1.5 yr / Together 36 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Irisandoleander 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]littleteafox3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]tintedlipbalm1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chairman_mau5 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Borsao662 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]prairieflowerEarly 30's, married 10+ yrs0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link