This is an ongoing series of the many adventures I experience as an RPW in a busy east coast city as a career woman. I hope you gain insights on how I navigate the craziness that is my circle of friends

One of my best friends since undergrad has been in a relationship with her bf for the last three years. He is military, devoted to her and loves her deeply. My friend is a dramatic, over the top ENFJ, to give you an idea of how she is. She loves romances, being wined and dined, and constant attention. I don't know how it works but it does. God bless them.

So she has learned from her local friend that her bf MAY be thinking about proposing. So I'm very excited but almost all excitement I had died when she started talking about it.

  • "He absolutely cannot propose to me [here] or [here] because ew."
  • "I wouldn't wear a ring i don't like. the ring is about the girl, not the guy. if you don't know your girl enough to get the ring she doesn't want, then one, you didn't put thought about it or two, you didnt know what she'd want and that's a question mark in my mind. i would hope he isn't that dumb"
  • "If I'm gonna wear the ring the rest of my life, I should have total choice over what i'm wearing."
  • "I really want it to be a surprise, lol, even if I know how it's gonna happen."

Why do this to yourself? If you know your bf of 3 years wants to propose to you, just let him. In my opinion, if this man wants to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you, you accept the ring he proposes with, you let him do it how he feels comfortable. Why start the rest of your lives together controlling what he does and how at every step?

Lessons of the day:

  • If your friend has all but admitted to being a potential bridezilla, say nothing. Be there as her friend, but listen carefully to the very subtle ways she's attempting to control.

  • ITS NOT ABOUT THE RINGS. It's about the man. Have some respect for how he wants to declare his love for you.

  • You can either tell your bf what to do OR how to do it, but you can't do both and you shouldn't do either.