Stubborn Partners & Walking Away

MentORPHEUS · 2019-01-30T04:05:25+00:00

men must feel the pain of loss before they realize

This is a risky line of thinking for a woman. In the case of high value men, the only one feeling pain of loss is going to be the woman who made a sudden ultimatum for marriage. The motivation for this kind of high stakes move is usually built on a foundation of unspoken expectations and covert contracts.

It is the woman's prerogative to manage commitment aspects of a relationship. RPW recommends vetting men for Captain worthiness from the start, being assertive about relationship management as opposed to passive or aggressive, and bringing the captain one's problem, not a solution much less a demand.

A marriage minded woman doesn't have ~~limited~~ limitless time to waste in stagnant relationships. She can strive to inspire his commitment, and should walk if there's obviously not a meeting of minds on such an important thing. Seeking some "pain of loss" lesson is a misguided waste of effort, because of the way this affects men far after the fact if at all. ^{^Edit-word}

stripethrowaway · 2019-01-30T00:03:04+00:00

I think it rings pretty true. It took me walking away from a marriage for my ex to realize he wanted me and start trying to work on things. Sadly for him, it was too late. I didn't know the words for it back then, but I had felt hypergamy settling in (which I never acted on) and I knew I needed to get out before I did something awful, so I filed papers and made my exit. I was out of trust, and I was completely out of respect. He told me he was swallowing the pill when I was on the way out the door, (and I laughed, I wasn't ready for RPW quite yet) and good for him, but looking back, there was no way that respect was going to come back after it had been depleted. He contacted me for several months after it was over trying to get me back.

I think walking away from your partner in this fashion, especially to get something you want, is the ultimate sign of disrespect. Please don't use an ultimatum if you are thinking of going this route. That's not the best foundation for a marriage. I'm a firm believer that a good quality man won't need these sorts of tricks to realize what he has in his life and will make his intentions known to you should he be considering you for marriage.

ObedientLittleWife · 2019-01-30T14:00:45+00:00

Timing is everything. You see it quite a lot, the men who lives together with a woman for years and years, they break up and he is married to another woman a year later.

I think you need to have a bit of luck to meet the right guy at the right time, if it isn't the right time for him it's better to walk away than to wait for him to be ready. If you wait for him you won't be his wife.

dojoboy · 2019-01-30T11:30:41+00:00

It’s manipulative. Definitely a tool from the “playing games” bag. Recommend dialogue above all else. I do agree that men can easily putt along in a relationship, but I think that’s more to do with less social pressure to marry in this day and age. For me, it took my future FIL to say, “Well, is she a keeper?” lol

She was. We’ve been married 23 years and raised two sons. Good times.

est-la-lune · 2019-01-30T16:09:54+00:00

I sort of agree. The pain of loss can trigger people to change behavior, but I don't think the original relationship can be saved.

SEnutshell · 2019-01-30T09:14:42+00:00

"marry me or I'll walk away" doesn't sound like a very smart thing to say though (even if you're obviously not going to say it out loud)... I think we should integrate this to our vetting process instead of trying to "change" a man who doesn't want to get married. I also think that men will do anything for the "right" woman. If he doesn't want to marry you and if he doesn't make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world when he looks at you, then I'd say you're wasting your time.

Zegiknie · 2019-02-01T10:54:34+00:00

It's a way to do another woman a favor, maybe, but not yourself.

It is not about stubbornness, it is about not knowing their own minds and taking things for granted.

Title	Stubborn Partners & Walking Away
Author	butterflyhalo
Upvotes	22
Comments	21
Date	January 29, 2019 11:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/al6ioc/stubborn_partners_walking_away/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/stubborn-partners-walking-away.210551 https://theredarchive.com/post/210551

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