Something I realised made me see the importance of levelling up.

I have a twin sister, both of us we’re given the same opportunities. Private school education, club memberships, vacations, branded products, everything privilege can offer. But we are the complete opposite.

I earned my way into a law degree through grades whilst she was given a back door with money. She spends her time with her LV boyfriend, smoking weed while I have countless hobbies and passions and skills I nurture.

One conversation led me to asking her, “do you like who you are when you’re alone?”

Because I love myself when I’m alone. I write and read, I paint and dance, I study languages and exercise, I hike and volunteer. But all she has is her boyfriend and weed, when her boyfriend is gone, she gets high, when she’s with him, she gets high. There’s nothing else to her, she doesn’t have any interests, any drive, any redeeming qualities (she’s a violent, selfish and narcissistic pickme).

So this is something I wanted to ask you ladies.

How do you nurture yourself, how do you provide yourself constant growth when you’re on your own? I think this is the difference between women being the table and men bringing things to the table.

Tables can survive without people sitting there, but men need tables to sit at, if that makes sense. They need to prove why they are worthy of sitting there when women are already fulfilled with their hobbies and career and maybe family/children.

Before we date, sometimes before we even make friends, we need to curate ourselves and give ourselves depth to be whole people. To remind ourselves that we are the table. To determine who gets to sit there, and what they get to lay out on us, that what they place on the table is worth us accepting.

Just a thought. ❤️💗