Ruined my chances of having a fuckbuddy by texting too much, is this concrete proof you should only text for logistics?

someonesopinion6969 · 2019-02-13T12:51:48+00:00

It's not 'texting' her too much, it's the fact you still hold some clear beta traits aka over investment, not controlling your sex drive or whatever idk.

You could also be acting like a whiny little bitch which may have put her off.

Rkingpin · 2019-02-13T16:16:54+00:00

You're screaming insecurities in this text.

Major turn off for women

GGrub8 · 2019-02-13T13:26:05+00:00

It might just be that you're not her #1 option at this time and she used the "too much texting" excuse to get rid of you.

resnine · 2019-02-13T16:53:27+00:00

"asked her"... that is problem number one. You don't ask, you tell.

Keeping yourself "unavailable" to a degree gives you a "rare" quality in their minds. This is why overinvesting in a woman often leads to rejection. Unless you are already VERY high value, overinvesting almost always leads to crash and burn. This is because by overinvesting positions them ABOVE you. See you must always be HIGHER up in status than them or else they lose all desire in you. Position yourself higher up by showing/displaying higher value, by your clothes, personality, lifting, and in a many many others ways, she'll maintain interest. It all comes down to your SMV by displaying covertly LMS.

This is why you must always be calibrating to what your current value level is. You have to calibrate yourself and suppress your neediness and horniness. Not move too fast or else you communicate to them that they are HIGHER value and you are LOWER value. Overinvest and she'll run off for a more idgaf guy because idgaf displays HIGHER value. You have to weed out all those beta traits (low value displays) like neediness, desperateness, loneliness, validation/approval-seeking, and incel level horniness.

TLDR; always be calibrating, always being displaying yourself as higher value.

bigflame123 · 2019-02-13T17:26:25+00:00

Read the link on the sidebar called "How to use dating sites". While you can skip half of it if you're exclusively texting, the full read is suggested.

MoscowVandal · 2019-02-13T12:56:13+00:00

Might come off as desperate for sex, which makes her think twice about who she's getting with and their sexual experience/skills. Not to mention maturity if you can't control yourself.

Or just feels you are developing feelings for her.

Personally I just try to match their energy. Once I get a sign I'm doing too much or doing too little in communication, I'll stick to her level of communication. It really depends on the girl. Each person that wants a fuck buddy has a different preference in what's appropriate.

If I'm overdoing communication and I feel it's hard to not over-text her and annoy her, I'll usually cut it off because sex would make this difference in feelings worse.

I've met some girls who want zero communication besides logistics and when together, fuck and be gone. The "stereotypical" men way. Yet one girl I remember would over-text me when I wanted it to just be a hook up thing and she claimed the same thing, just didn't act like it. I wasn't attracted to her emotionally and couldn't imagine dating her, so it got on my nerves sometimes.

My best advice would be in the future, after the friends with benefits is established, don't text first (unless to set up a hook up) and see if she ever contacts you about things other than setting up the hook up

resnine · 2019-02-13T14:08:01+00:00

2 texts for comfort everytime you text, then logistics

resnine · 2019-02-13T15:45:08+00:00

What you do/how you behave is an extension of your mentality. You have to be outcome-independent and truly not give a fuck. You have a lot of reading to do and theory to practice.

SalporinRP · 2019-02-13T16:50:08+00:00

You can text for non-logistics but you just can't come off as being needy or desperate and that's what you did. A lot of my lays are off dating app game so it's almost necessary to have at least 1 solid text conversation before meeting up.

I just take my time when responding so I don't seem to available and tease her.

Your problem is that you're too needy. And she would have realized that in-person eventually anyways.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-02-13T23:13:00+00:00

she said it was because I texted her too much which she wasn’t okay with

It's kind of pathetic if a girl actually tells you that you text too much.

xNinja36 · 2019-02-27T23:10:08+00:00

How many text per day? Curious so I dont fuck up. I'll send like 1-2 a day but that's if she initiates

Title	Ruined my chances of having a fuckbuddy by texting too much, is this concrete proof you should only text for logistics?
Author	bigflame123
Upvotes	3
Comments	65
Date	February 13, 2019 12:42 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/aq6795/ruined_my_chances_of_having_a_fuckbuddy_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ruined-my-chances-of-having-a-fuckbuddy-by-texting.215166 https://theredarchive.com/post/215166

Comments