So I struggle with this for a while now. I’m in a relationship for about a half year now (35F and he 31M).since I’ve met my boyfriend I’ve learned about trp and what it has brought him. For a while now I’m following rpw and it has helped me quite a bit to understand him and myself a bit more.

I’m a very structured person, I have a busy social life and I need to plan things in advance. Planning is something my BF resents. It isn’t that he can’t, but it something he isn’t dealing with or could be bothered with. For a while now he is telling me he wants to take me out for weekend trips. At first it was something he wanted to do every other month, but we’ve only been away once in the beginning of our relationship. When I ask him about it, he says that we need to plan it sometime. And when I ask him when that time will be he is constantly pushing it forward. It makes me feel like he doesn’t want to go away for the weekend. I don’t want to banter him constantly about it, but with his work schedule and mine we need to plan well in advance. When asked he says he really wants to go away, but needs to be reminded that we need to plan. But then again, he pushes it forward. I want him to take control of this, let him be the captain, but it seems to take forever. and after a few months waiting and trying different approaches I don’t know what to do anymore. It isn’t only like that with weekend trips, but also other stuff as daytrips, birthday parties, etc. He pushes stuff forward and to me it comes off as if he’s not that interested or invested in me as I am in him. It makes me feel really insecure and I don’t know how I can let him be more of a captain, let him take more control. Should I be even more patient? Should I take over? I suggested this to him, if that takes the burden off him and planning is something I’m good at, that’s also fine. But it was like seeing water burn in his eyes, so that’s also off the table I guess ;) We talked about it a couple of times and he assures me it has nothing to do with me, but with his lack of planning skills and busy schedule. On the other hand, nothing really changes and I feel like if I bring it up again I’m the annoying girlfriend who can never shut up about it.

For further info, he has a mild case of winterdepression which mostly expresses itself in low energy levels.

So I don’t want to nag, but also don’t want to be a doormat. I want him to be more of a captain and take control in these kind of situations. What can I do so he and I feel both more in our right places?