How to cope with the feeling that my life so far (M26) has been boring and uninteresting?

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March 6, 2019
95 upvotes

I get it, I have to change and be better. Sometimes I cannot shake the feeling that my chilhood, high-school years and University and also working etc have been a boring experience, very few parties, very few anecdotes, not much friends, not much crazyness, not many things to tell, first time sex well until past college. Etc.

All this because of various circunstances (parenting, blue pill shit, shyness, not knowing how the world worked) I have improved greatly since high-school for example, but the fact that I deal with "normal" people everyday that always has something awesome to say about their past parties, getting drunk, girls, sex, trips, pictures, you get the idea, all of this kind of fucks up your psyche. How do you reconcile with the fact that your past sucked balls against your older years coming in right around the corner.

Also the fact that since my past has been like this AND I am still like this, I have no idea how to solve this problem (lack of friends and experiences), since I am an "Adult" already, it is infinitely harder to satisfy this need of getting to know people and go out when you are working so much during the week. Besides, no matter what I do, I wont have that first time sex at high school, get drunk at prom, or have an awesome farewell party after college, simply all of those oportunities are fucking gone. Sorry for the rant, has anybody dealt with this?


Post Information
Title How to cope with the feeling that my life so far (M26) has been boring and uninteresting?
Author notastupid_question
Upvotes 95
Comments 50
Date 06 March 2019 06:25 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/220956
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ay222i/how_to_cope_with_the_feeling_that_my_life_so_far/
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Comments

[–]failingtheturingtest90 points91 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can either be 36 wishing that you didn't waste the last 10 years of your life thinking about what you already missed and ut on. Or you can be 36 thinking how much greater life has been since you stopped being a bitch.

[–]Cross_De_Lena16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, there are ton of options to go for. You can meet 10-30 people a month, and I'll give a few easy examples: It's as easy as joining some volunteering network, trying and befriending people at the gym, JOIN a fucking crossfit group. It's basically like a cult without weird parts that cults usually have.

[–][deleted] 96 points97 points  (15 children) | Copy

Youre 26 bro. Still have your life ahead of you. Out of all the people I know, the ones who have the most interesting and "crazy" life are 35-45 year old investment bankers. Snorting 50 grams of coke a month

[–]thrwy754795 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

What's interesting and crazy about their lives?

[–]Casd129 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's not. They spend 80 hours a week working. It's not really crazy nor interesting. They get paid alot, but they work all day long and they barely have time to spend it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The ones I know definetly have time to spend it. And I thank them for it!

[–]BookyMcBooks4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Oh really, Mr. /u/CokeRockOnYourClit?

[–]rustyspurs87-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think it’s Ms. u/CokeRockOnYourClit.

Edit: never mind, I was wrong.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why would you Think that

[–]ChadTheWaiter10021 points22 points  (4 children) | Copy

Sounds like a good life.

[–]RedHoodhandles28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy

Matter of opinion.

[–]phuckyothots2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Facts.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

[–]xgozax3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

that is what i wanna be some day

[–]Rubbish274 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Appropriate username

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

More than you think

[–]howard_roark7142 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeeesh, priorities.

[–]SorcererKing28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're 26. The next 15 years are going to fly by. I promise you that by the time you're 40, you won't even remember the names of all the people you think are so awesome right now. Delete your social media, join an intramural sports league of some type, and get the fuck off the internet. Life is out there; go find it.

[–]redvelvet_oreo34 points35 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is something I keep seeing with younger kids. They think their life is lame as shit because they compare themselves to others. Especially with the influence of social media (the place where people live their best lives /s)

I would encourage you to read a book about a past war or even the current one. Realize their is a huge world out there any everyone has problems and your problems are shit compared to the rest of the world.

Then use that encouragement to enjoy the life you have in 1st world country (assuming).

Go out to an underground techo club and dance all night. Grind up on some strange pussy. Socialize. Enjoy your self.

Example: Im in my mid 30s. Not married, no kids. While everyone cant live the life I live I do my own shit. Always have. I typically book a trip SOLO to a place I like. I find a club and go in SOLO. Walk out with a bunch a people I met that night and create my own after party. I subsequently link these people together and make plans the next day. Now I have a fucking crew of people to hang and drink with. There are times I go solo and leave solo but I never leave upset or disappointed. I went to have fun and thats what I did. Outcome Independence.

Your bored because your fucking boring. Learn some game and chat everyone up. Find a hobby and expand on it. Find social circles that are into the same shit. Starting making frineds and do things. Be a leader. Make the plans. Get people to follow your lead.

I didnt fuck at prom and I didnt have any cool college partys but I always made my own fun and never got caught up on what other people were doing. Alot of people had fun in their past and cant replicate that because they live in the past and never learn to live back in the moment.

[–]Dumweight5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Top reply

[–]red_account_taken0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Alright, you have a point. But keep in mind that the majority of girls (especially young ones) pass all their time on social media. And guess who they gonna choose between a chill boring dude and another one that has a business, goes skydiving every other week and drives a motorcycle?

[–]moppalady0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

+1 for techno. The crowds are comprised of my interesting people than your average club

[–]seexo 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

Alright.

It looks like you are comparing yourself to the highlights of your friends or acquitances, they had crazy sex and crazy parties right?

So, now that you like comparing yourself to other people, let's try an exercise.

Meenatai Thackeray is an afghan girl, she's 28 and has been living her whole life in a village in Afghanistan, she's getting jealous of her girl friends because they are trying new burkas and shit. She doesn't know anything of crazy sex or crazy drunk trips around the country.

Samora Mutemba, 24 from mozambique is a nice dude, having problems with his current gf because he broke frame earlier in the month because he was getting jelaous that Joaquim got new sandals, he doesn't know anything about crazy trans drunk sex parties in the bahamas, the main thing he thinks he's missing is some rockass sandals.

Compare yourself to them.

You don't care enough to do that right? Then why you should be comparing yourself to another people? They aren't that special

You can still have your fun bro, you can still fuck randoms 19yo, stop the whining and get to work, start by not thinking about your past because it's boring right? Do you think about boring shit? What about your present or future you can make those not boring.

Do you want to be an old bitter man with full of regret? Or an old 70yo fucking 60yo hotties.

[–]Rubbish2735 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy

crazy trans drunk sex parties

Bro what?

[–]c4toyourdoornobeef15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

lmao i think he just making a point😂😂

[–]inittowinit77710 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

60 yo hotties? okay...

[–]zaze122 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guys,a bit of humor can't hurt you.

[–]Startlivingfornow6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t know, man.

I’ve got an uncle that lives in Mozambique and he has some pretty wild bush sex.

And by bush sex, I mean unshaven

[–]vivid_mind7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man you are craving some token trash teen romantic comedy shit. These things are made up. Good thing is that you are aware, so you can start doing whatever you want. Find your mission.

[–]The-Wizard-of-Oz-6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a movie called 17 adain. Watch it. Exclude the romantic nonsense. I think you're having a midlife crisis. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. Edit: extremely premature midlife crisis.

[–]huey7645 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Comparison is the thief of joy

[–]ramfex215 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m almost 26.. still dont have my shit together. Trying to be more present in the moment. Enjoying the moment and trying not to give a fuck what people think of me. The truth is that pretty much no one gives a fuck about you or me... so you gotta use that to your advantage and stop comparing

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have dealt with regret, that which puts it to rest is acceptance. You can never change your past. To over think it is to put yourself through mental torture. be kinder to yourself, Accept it, that is the path forward.

Take some time and list the kind of life you want to live. Set goals to achieve what it is you want to experience. Work towards those goals. Achieve them and acknowledge your achievement. Do something in the next month, make plans for the next 3 years. Have interesting and exiting shit to look forward to. It will give you stuff to talk to people about. After you have done them then you will have the experience to share with people. Build experiences.

It sounds like you want some 'wild' nights out.. go on a contiki tour in 2019 or 2020 and get it out of your system. Set goals and execute! Sink some $$$ into it.

Here is what i have concluded. ( im 37) Those who are out having raging parties and getting pissed are boring. I used to do it, i thought it was great. really it was the drugs making me think that. These days i like to climb mountains and do epic expeditions. People who have passions and interests are not boring. If all you can do is drink yourself to a state of brain damage for fun then IMHO you are fucking boring! i was boring, im an aussie and we get fukked up, too fuckked up causing temporary brain damage feels like fun, but when you are slurring, drooling staggering like a toddler maby even waking up in your own piss or vomit because your brain is no longer functioning properly, ask your self "are we have fun yet?"

Get out in nature! Go back to your natural habitat for a bit and find some peace.

You are the author, write the story you want, make it happen, Don't expect anyone to do it for you.

Best of luck out there!

[–]Resolution4375 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just read the title of your question. Do something even more boring for a while、 like translating technical manuals. Realise that your life was actually pretty interesting by comparison. Then discover everything is relative and profit.

[–]AcRedLive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A lot of people lead "boring" lives up until they've had enough and want to do something about it. Something crazy sometimes, like move across the world or get involved in something completely new, etc. Use your creativity. Comparison truly is the thief of joy. Practical advice: start going out, volunteer, go to clubs, travel, join an inter-mural league, there are all kinds of things you can do to shake it up.

[–]SerialATA_Killer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hakuna Matata

[–]gbnz871 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who cares what your experiences have been, as long as they are important to you that is all that matters. Having sex or going to a party does not make you an interesting person (remember men especially exaggerate how many women or how well they do with women. I have a friend who often tells a story about how he had a girl draped across the bonnet of his car but I was there when it happened and it was just some drunk girl passed out on his car when we got there, we just moved her on and went home but the way he does the story it sounds like hes a real player)

I assume you havent partaked in these activities because you have no desire to (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that) There are plenty of like minded people out there you just have to try a little bit harder to find them as you probably wont stumble across them in a bar or club.

Keep doing what is important to you and I suggest reading non-fiction and learning as much as you can so you can talk about many topics to people. Once you start getting into your late 20s you begin to realise that most of these "party" people actually have nothing going on in their lives and really dont have much to talk about other than the time they went to some bar or got wasted you can move past them.

[–]BookyMcBooks1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You know what's funny? You've got a great life ahead of you, if you play your cards right, and you probably don't even realize it.

The people at those parties are going to look like fucking dog shit at age 30, and are going to have whining kids, a bunch of ugly tattoos, and are going to end up miserable working a shit job for the rest of their lives.

You only see the "fun" parts, but when you look around at everyone who looks like they partied when they were younger, they look fucking miserable and stupid.

[–]TuhTodayJr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only honest answer here is just to say fuck it and move forward

Yeah that shit happened but what are you going I dwell on it. Are you going to keep going back to it. Trust me there is a place and time where you could go back and pull strength from it but rn honestly you just have to push through all the excuses your mind is giving you. Try to be open to how you’re feeling but at the same time work on yourself

[–]kaolin2241 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Grab hold of your sack.

Make a list of things you want to do now, especially while your body can still take it.

Make a plan on how you can make this work financially, as well as setting a date.

Begin the journey.

[–]Adi4Hire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

29 here, about to be 30, just started living my life around 8 months ago. The last 29 years have been just a blur with me mindlessly going with the flow. Now, fk the flow, find things that will become memories and do that.

[–]icecruzader0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Make up for lost time.

[–]CheesyStravinsky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you have over a dozen PhD's and have created multiple masterpieces of art, genius engineering feats that have spawn you multiple billion dollar companies that have changed the world, and started huge philanthropic organizations that have saved millions of people's lives?

[–]camknight150 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I understand exactly what you mean, dude. It’s called FOMO (fear of missing out). You feel as though you’ve missed out on all the “fun things” associated with being young, and I honestly do, too. I’m 20 years old in college and no matter how much I drink, weed I smoke, girls I fuck, and parties I go to, I never EVER feel like it’s enough. It’s honestly terrible and to an extent, it’s taken over my life. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even say “no” to a party opportunity. FOMO is real and it’s a serious condition. All I would say is that you’re still young enough to experience many of the types of things you’re looking for. Hell, if you have the time, go on the internet and find some party friends if you don’t want to look for any in real life (or find some in real life if you want). Don’t stress over it too much. It’s not everything but do what makes you happy. 

[–]SorcererKing5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The antidote to FOMO is to realize that EVERYTHING has an opportunity cost. Every time you go to a party, you're still missing out... on all the other things you might have done instead. What have you NOT been doing every time you "can't say no" to a party? Eventually those things will mean more to you and you won't be bothered to go to parties anymore.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m 20 years old in college and no matter how much I drink, weed I smoke, girls I fuck, and parties I go to, I never EVER feel like it’s enough.

I'm 20 too, easily a 7-8 and have a high SMV given my school is engineering-focused, and am a virgin. I've had so many opportunities thru tinder, meeting girls in person, etc and have only made out twice in my life. I have a major case of FOMO... I wish I wasn't such a pussy bc I know I'll look back at these college years and regret them so much.

[–]camknight151 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude, yes. You have to do it or if you’re anything like me, FOMO will eat you alive later on. I have FOMO now and I’m doing the shit I’m scared of missing out on. Get laid and let loose. You’ll thank yourself for it later on.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I've got a couple tinder girls lined up so hoping it happens his weekend , thanks man

[–]WizardSenpai0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

youve got 24 years left of greatness then 10-20 beyond that of decency before your body starts breaking down no matter what you do. just keep climbing.

[–]Bruchibre0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Make it exciting and interesting?



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