Question is the title, I know a man that by all means and by all history an absolute Alpha. Has high n-count, married 20+ years and is The Man in the relationship as his wife is very submissive and trained by this man over the years on how to act like a real wife should...until it comes out she cheated once (over 15 years ago, they used to party a lot with hard drugs but even since sobriety he still routinely cheats and she hasn't since)

Now he is losing his shit and playing real dread, now I am talking extreme levels of dread as in reminding her she has no where else to go if she leaves, blatantly telling her she is sleeping on the floor or in the next room if the man decides to pick up another woman that night, bringing up divorce as a threat, saying that the way the woman acts is disgusting and she has little redeeming factors among many other horrible things to say (she does a lot for him and the affair happened over 15 years ago). All in all this still got him results, and got a BJ from his wife (felt almost coerced, but he left all the demands open ended and technically always had the choice) he is still saying the divorce is on.

When does dread become abuse or are there strong distinctions between the two? Is this proper dread and I've just been nice about it all this time(despite it still working for me)? until now I and many others always saw this guy as a great Alpha (even if they didn't know the terms, they knew his personality, his status, his IDGAF'ness, and knew he had real game) and I'm wondering if this is how it's really done. I'm not gonna lie, experiencing this unfold while after their BBQ party was over (it was just us 3) felt very surreal and sorta abusive and if I wasn't there is this just the standard nuclear dread?